Nicholas, I just wanted to share that this vid you posted was great to listen to. Really got a lot out of her sharing. So thank you, and I hope to hear from you soon.
1 Like
I just scrolled through this thread, top to bottom. What a thread! Posting here to keep track.
My journey is ongoing. @Mtrav0040 said earlier in this thread that as the creative energy accumulates (when we are sober, when we are not spending it on PMO), we need to find constructive ways to channel it. I am finding this as well.
I am trying to care for myself, use HALT to practice self care, and Iām going to make a workshop in my basement where I can do woodworking. I have also gotten into walking meditation - walking back and forth across my basement floor, focusing on the steps and the motion - and I am finding it helps me ground myself.
I have struggled with masturbation as escape in the last week. I am not sure of how best to handle this. I believe this might be telling me I am not listening to my emotional and spiritual needs. I am also overdue on some work which is weighing me down. Clearing my to-do list and taking time to be social will help, I believe. I will try it and see. I have to be considerate to myself, listen to myself and respect what my emotions and my body are signalling I need.
3 Likes
I wonder what happened to some of these people. Did they give up? If this didnāt work for them, did they find something better?
2 Likes
You know how it is @RBG. Some of us donāt succeed the first time around. I, myself, was AWOL for 18 months acting out almost every day before I returned to TS a year ago.
6 Likes
Thanks for sharing @iwillwin I am a Christian as well and it has been a real challenge to stop. Day 4 currently and just taking it a day at a time.
5 Likes
Hi Nate, welcome! Like you and @iwillwin I am religious and have struggled for a very long time. I feel less alone after hearing from some of the other men on this platform who are religious as well. So much of addiction is about a double life. So much of recovery is about living a single, integrated life, in line with your values (whatever their source, whether theyāre religious or not). It is an ongoing effort.
Do you find prayer helpful? If so, how? Do you find other elements of your religion helpful? In what ways?
1 Like
Hey @matt, thank you. I couldnāt agree more.
I do find prayer helpful. On my journey I have found contemplation and the benedictine tradition profoundly supporting. As well as singing (worshiping) when I meet with other Christians.
I have found spending time with others also helps reduce feelings often associated with the drivers for sexual intimacy.
Lastly, recently I have found photography, travel and general creativity an outlet which can be pleasurable and life-giving.
2 Likes
Great! Yes there is something about being creative. Iām glad to hear it is a positive experience for you. What sort of creative work do you do?
I think itās also worth considering that some people are in a more extreme version of the boat Iām in. Iām 267 days in now and verymuch feeling the plateau. Itās a lot of fighting the same small fights constantly for me now, with only occasional big washes of temptation. Those are the moments I tend to get drawn back here by necessity.
Otherwise on my end, itās much more about keeping myself focused on a daily basis. If that requires coming on here to check in, so be it, if not, maybe thatās a good thing too. That Iām learning to cope individually.
While Iām a big fan of the saying thatās been drifting around our group here for a while: ādonāt crave aloneā, in my personal case, Iām able to push myself further to self-reliance when I push myself to be strong alone too. Just a different take and my 2 cents.
2 Likes
Iām 13 days no pmo canāt look past twice daily prayer minimum pray and ask god to remove your lust
2 Likes
Just drawing painting baking just doing something new or out of my comfort zone. What about you? @Matt what works on your end?
2 Likes
Wow 267 days is encoruaging. What works for you?
1 Like
These last six months have been incredibly difficult to stay sober. I relapsed towards the end of summer and have been avoiding the issue. But I am trying to better my relationship with God and I know I canāt keep doing this. I also donāt want to be an addict when I meet my future spouse some day. Hereās to start fresh.
4 Likes
Glad your looking to start back up again. Praying for you.
2 Likes
Day 35 going to sleep at 10:32pm so overtired
3 Likes
60 days. I feel that Iām in control now. I have made it through some very trying days, and I donāt know what could derail me except myself. I care too much about this, and I canāt imagine losing motivation. I think my motivation is the best it could possibly be.
1 Like
Or maybe a sense of control. I get this. Iāve been in the 100+ day count several times over the past few years. It always feels like I am in complete control and that Iāve ābeatenā it. Then something comes along that I wasnt expecting and relapse row here I am. This time around Iām absolutely trying to keep a frame of mind that I have no control over the addiction and thus need to remain ever vigilant for the rest of my lifeā¦
4 Likes
Thatās a good perspective. I intend to always be vigilant. I donāt test my sobriety like some others do. Iām not going to watch a movie because I think I have it conquered. Thatās never going to happen. Iām doing what I should have done before I ever got into this to begin with. And thatās what Iāll always do from now on. I donāt consider myself invulnerable. And that is why I will keep those barriers up.
2 Likes
Checking in, still another ten hours before my first 24. Itās infuriating to have the topic of sex and relationships on my mind constantly. Any tips on how to make the thoughts go away besides distracting myself? Because the second Iām lonely, my brain goes in the wrong direction.
1 Like
I think it just takes time and practice. Also consider filling your mind with other interesting things. I donāt have any tricks for you. I have starved my brain of anything sexually stimulating. Over time I have regained control of my thoughts.