So after spouting off in the Check In thread tonight I pulled out my scribblings from the last couple weeks and looked at some of my bookmarks here. I’ve tried getting sober before and just not drinking wasn’t the whole picture. I knew before my last relapse a piece was missing. Before making more plans (which I already had a bunch of), this:
Instead of making more plans I dropped it and went to an open AA meeting. Because my way is not working. Other things I tried helped but didn’t stick.
So I went to a meeting even as some part of me at the last minute unexpectedly screamed “Noooooo…!” like a terrifying villain. I told the voice to shut up, you’re not helping, and went anyway.
And my take away from the meeting was totally @Englishd 's steps 2 & 3. These people are cool, and I would like to have what they have.
Good job Eke. You can have it and you can be happy I can’t tell you how happy I have been for the past 2 years of my sobriety. People look up to me now. My daughter that’s 11 has cheered me on the whole time telling me she’s proud of me which is something that I can’t ever think of letting her down I don’t want to disappoint myself or her and I’m very percent confident I will never do. Just live life love for what it is it’s not always cake and rainbows but I promise it does get ever so slightly easier. I am so proud of you for making a first step towards establishing a foundation to build your sobriety on it’s not easy and you will have to bust your ass to build it bit once it’s there is pretty solid. Keep going to meetings you will make friends who will truly understand the power of addiction and lift you up. Good luck and remember I’m rooting for you
Thanks! I’ll see about getting my butt back in that seat and appreciate the support. Two years. Nice. That kind of life sounds fantastic and more worth working toward than what my dulled mind had figured. I’ll keep in touch and sure I’ll be around!
I didn’t want to go either. In fact, I would rather have done just about anything else. Having said that, meetings are now something I look forward to. I almost always feel more at peace afterward.
It’s normal to have mixed feelings at first. Your not going to go an instantly love it for most cases anyway. It’s totally out of the comfort zone tons of strangers you don’t know but after a while it becomes a homely feeling at least for me it’s usually judgement free environment and you can express anything going on that you’d like to talk about in your life and you’ll get feedback although sometimes it’s feedback you don’t want to hear it’s usually something that you need to hear. It takes alot of courage to walks through those doors and I’ll once again tell you how very proud of you I am I look forward to hearing more from you soon Eke
Went again tonight. This group and all those who spoke were even more on the nose. They’re very keyed in to newcomers without making anyone uncomfortable.
I still haven’t spoken, trying to just listen. That was hard tonight as the subject resonated very strongly with where I’ve been stuck.
Truly happy that you attended a meeting. I too had my reservations as I dont struggle with alcohol. But even with that big difference, i found myself very comfortable in a weekly men’s meeting and quickly made quite a few contacts from that meeting. Found a sponsor and called him daily and sometimes more.
I didnt work the program though. I didnt read the big book and put pen to paper to work the steps. I attended the meetings and i thought that would be enough to keep me sober. It was not. Havent been to a meeting in several months now, much to my shame.
If you let that program take the reins, you will find what those other members have. “It works if you work it” … while I dont know if this is true for me, i certainly represent that NOT working the program will most certainly end in relapse(for myself anyways)
I applaud you for taking that step to get outside of your comfort zone… i felt the same way before my first meeting and I actually feel that way now too… having not been to a meeting in months and having relapsed since then.
Keep going back, admit that you are powerless over your alcoholism/addiction, get a sponsor, work the steps no matter how uncomfortable it may be, help your fellow alcoholic/addict find and keep their sobriety, and above all find and draw strength from your Higher Power. Doing these things diligently will help keep you sober.
“Half-measures availed us not”
Edit: i encourage you to speak up at your next meeting. tell a brief summary about yourself and your problem, share with the group what you have learned from the first couple of meetings, share goals you wish to reach that can only be obtained through sobriety, anything. You will be glad you shared, afterwards. It is tough at first but things that are worth doing are usually the tough things.
It is certainly a struggle without the proper structure and support network. Seems like you are doing well in your sobriety now, though. I enjoy reading your posts throughout these forums and I thank you for your investment of time and thought as you help more people here than you even realize. I lurked for a while before actively posting and I am surely not the only one.
Sometimes i feel like I am hijacking threads when I post long anecdotes of my experiences of recovery and relapse. This is never my intent, but if I can help even one person find sobriety stay sober by sharing my testimony, then I consider my time here well-spent.
In early sobriety I was looking for answers but didn’t know what questions to ask. Sometimes sharing your story in narrative form is just what someone needs to hear, even if they don’t realize it
percent confident I will never do. Just live life love for what it is it’s not always cake and rainbows but I promise it does get ever so slightly easier. I am so proud of you for making a first step towards establishing a foundation to build your sobriety on it’s not easy and you will have to bust your ass to build it bit once it’s there is pretty solid. Keep going to meetings you will make friends who will truly understand the power of addiction and lift you up. Good luck and remember I’m rooting for you
