That is a beautiful place. Chucho was a well loved boy!! You did him well in selecting such a wonderful spot. Looked like a beautiful day for your hike. 
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Thank you, amiga 
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Your post made me tear up. Thank you for sharing him with all of us. What a beautiful place to put him to rest. Miss you Chucho and love you always. 
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Lisa you made me cry again! But happy tears. I’m so glad you let me know sharing about him is wanted and I appreciate you, amiga.
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Just read this article about actress Patricia Heaton celebrating 3 years sober. It can relate to a lot of how she described spiraling into heavy drinking.
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I saw this on social media this morning and I just love it. It reminds me so much of my grandfather who started his career as a farmer (following a long line of homesteaders and farmers) and then worked in ag extension through the University of Illinois supporting and educating other farmers. He spoke very much like this. I lost him when I was 13 and miss him every day.
Advice from An Old Farmer
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around…
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.
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Love this 
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I’m linking this post here so that I can come back to it and write more about it…been having some useful thoughts around this today.
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My tea is speaking to me tonight. This is a good message and reflects how I feel about this community.
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Had a realization last night as I lay awake with insomnia and thought through some unexpected thoughts of drinking. My parents were to leave the next morning and I noticed myself envisioning going to buy some wine because, “They’re leaving so now I can drink.” Old patterns, from way way back just popping up in my brain to say hello. I was thinking wtaf, even verging on some self-pity thinking, like why can’t I be free of these thoughts? Not that I felt ashamed or anything, it was just thoughts - clear as day, though. Picturing myself waiting for the right time to tell my working-from-home husband that I have errands to run now that they’ve left, hitting the alcohol section of the grocery store, sneaking it into the house and drinking surreptitiously and alone. The things I used to do when they left after a visit and I could finally get back to business. Well, the reality is I have plenty of unwanted thoughts. I think about what it would be like to drive my car off a cliff or bridge pretty regularly - these used to cause me paralyzing phobia of driving but I was able to get help with that and now I know that they’re just thoughts and they aren’t reality, they don’t predict the future, and I don’t have to feel any particular way about them. I can recognize the thought and maybe be curious about it but better yet be neutral about it. Well, I can do that in this case with thoughts of drinking. Just because I thought about going to buy a box of wine or maybe just a couple tall cans doesn’t mean I HAVE to do anything. Just thoughts. (Deep breath) Just thoughts. Moving on.
I think that the next step after recognizing that its just a thought is to say, “hm, ok, that’s interesting.” And then move on, think about the next thing. What am I going to do today now that they’ve left? I’m going to wash the linens they used, I’m going to go check out a new houseplant shipment at my local nursery, and yes, I am going to stop at the grocery store but not for alcohol. And on with my day I go!
Thanks amigos.
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Thanks for sharing amiga. Interesting fact: just now Connor asked me on another thread how I was going to celebrate my 1000 days sobriety in 9 days time. Very first thought was with a glass of wine. That’s a pattern of thought that has become totally ingrained in my being. 1000 Days aren’t going to remove that.
My immediate reaction to that drinking thought was manifold. Surprise and irritation came first, followed by shame and amusement. And a bit of reflection. It’s just a thought, and it’s a knee jerk reaction that I’ve cultivated and conditioned over decades. I’m not going to act on it. No way. Most certainly not on such a milestone. No way amiga. Un abrazo forte.
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Hey, that is SUPER helpful for me that you shared that - I am very grateful. We have the thought, but it does not equate action. We choose to take action if we will. Thanks for sharing, amigo. Abrazos a ti también.
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It’s like my common thoughts of suicide. It’s like a well known short cut, the wide old routes that served me well until they where detrimental. The old thoughts come and visit me regularly, old circuits. Naming them, writing them down, talking about them and not being judged for them is essential to my recovery. And you are part of it.
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Thank you, my dear friend. As you are part of mine. You’re absolutely right,
That is pure gold, right there.
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How’s your day going, @RosaCanDo ? I am glad you’re talking about your feelings, writing it down, working through them and understanding what you can of what you were thinking. I hope it ended up being a positive day for you and that you picked out some new plants. Lots of love and big hugs.
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Thank you, amiga, for asking. I’m having a great day! I did (and am doing) my laundry, I ran my errands and brought home some new babies, cooked a great meal I’m about to enjoy, and just had a video chat with my parents after they arrived home safely and without incident. The sun is out and the sky is blue and I’m just feeling happy 
Here are my new babies:
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Love the plant with the purple underside!
I can relate very much. In the past. I would be happy when my husband went to his parents’ house, because I could drink, or annoyed if he took a day off on the day I was off, because I couldn’t. Even now, I still get that immediate frisson of anticipation or anger, and then I remember I am not sneaking around, and me by myself and me when he is around are pretty similar these days.
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Oh yes, that too for me. My husband occasionally has to go in to work and my mind goes to “oh! There’s my chance!” Sheesh.
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I am having trouble being present on the forum in the way I would like to. I used to read the check in thread everyday and check in there everyday. I can’t do that, I simply don’t have the time and just reading isn’t enough, I’d want to respond when I can and offer support. I mean, I do read it from time to time and try to give hearts too. But I want to check in somewhere from time to time - I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to use this thread I created more. I’ll give it a shot.
I decided at some point that actively counting days and posting every day “Hey, I’m this many days” wasn’t helping me. It’s hard to explain but I do know I am not alone in this. Sorry to call you out, but @Chiron I saw you mention this recently and I am so glad you did! It really is a day at a time and I am so on board with this. So, after several months of embracing this mentality, I found myself recently feeling left out. I see other people getting hyped about their days and getting attention for milestones. I was once in their place. But let’s go back to the operative word here…ATTENTION. I have been a person who craves attention. Symptom of lack of self esteem and with low self worth. I have worked hard on this! And yet, here I am. I want to be that person with 100 days! It makes me chuckle as I write this, because, no, that is not what I want. I am super comfortable with the path I am on and am recognizing this aspect of myself and the lingering whispers in my ear of “don’t you want to get that kind of attention, little girl?” I identify as a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser. It is a vicious cycle and driven by need for external motivators to try to do anything. I have made so much progress in finding my intrinsic motivation and also the drive within myself FOR myself to not just BE myself, but want to try and be and do better. Not in any beat myself up way, but just in a developmental human kind of way. So, I will keep doing what I am doing and be content that I chose this! Because I did and I am proud of that.
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