fly eagles fly!!!
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Coming up on 90 days quickly and I finally asked someone to sponsor me. She said yes and we plan on meeting Friday to come up with a plan. Feeling pretty good these past few days (:
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Thatâs awesome! Iâm happy for you 
Doing the work will truly make a drastic difference.
*that is my favorite shade of lipstick 
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Love it all! Such great news CrystalâŚkeep working on your sobriety 
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I couldnât think where to put this so Iâll just leave it here. Tomorrow Iâll be 43 years old, which is the age my dad was when he died (alcohol related illness).
I thought it might bring up some existential wobbles but itâs now sending a shiver down my spine (especially now Iâve got my brilliant little girl to look after) and the kitchen clock I can hear is sounding very loud indeed. Iâve always hated birthdays as I donât like fuss or attention but this one is really giving me the heebie-jeebies. Has anyone else felt like this? On a positive note, Iâm 4.3 years dry with no plans to stop stopping
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Hey friend - happy early Birthday. I am so sorry for the memories this particular day is bringing up. You are doing amazingly well with 4.3 years of sobriety.
I do hope you have someone in real life to discuss all these heebie-jeebie emotions. We are around if you need a shoulder to lean on.
Wishing you the best on your birthday 
Beautiful house. I love the red brick and stone.
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I also dislike birthdays. Happy another day sober that people might want to make into a big deal. Eat a piece of cake on the sly, enjoy your sobriety and now you can see every day through sober eyes that your father never got to see. Sending hugs and sly cake slices. Happy days to you.
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Nice to meet you Jimmy.
Keep up the great work.
ODAAT.
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winding down on 17 days. reflecting a lot on who i really am - without all the noise - just purely being. â . . . who is that? i would like to know.
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I can feel the peace and serenity coming off you Julia. So happy to see this for you.
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Hey thanks! Itâs a really cool studio which Iâm lucky to have had the opportunity to build with a friend a few years back. Its in the roof of the last active wool mill in England. Away from all the chaos of the âreal worldâ. Free to create in a lovely space. Come over!!
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sounds exciting! have fun with it!!
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Thanks, I was trying to think of who I could talk to but then I remembered this place. I can usually coast through without having to dump stuff on anyone but this is doing my head in a bit. (hence my 2:20am posting)
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Oh friend - yes!!! grateful that this place crossed your mind. We are all here for you! Talk to us - we are here for you 
Do not think of it being a dump of stuff so much as it is a sharing of your feelings and thoughts 
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Thatâs very kind of you to say - thank you.
The main points that keep circling around are not so much around sobriety as I think I have that beaten as much as I can, more about mortality. Iâve never felt scared of dying.
My daughter was born almost two years ago and that is when I more conciously and naturally wanted to be alive for longer.
This age popping up feels like a countdown clock of borrowed time has started ticking, which is totally irrational but obviously a bit of old trauma rearing itâs head. Hopefully it will fade as I get used to the idea (or turn 44, haha)
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I can relate as my father passed away at 36 years old. I am now 45 but approaching my 36th birthday and a good chunk of the following weeks was a very dark and depressing time. It gets better. I was not in recovery then but I pray that ,for you being in it will bring you strength. Thanks for sharing. It gets better. Living my life today in a way that I hope, scratch that, I know would make him proud helps a whole lot.
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