Hi and welcome here. Real shit show you pulled off there on Saturday. I staged a few myself, albeit in different genres, so I can relate.
You don’t need a push, you need a plan. 
Surround yourself w recovery. This place, podcasts, quit lit. Round the clock. Until you get it and get all the information you need. Hear others stories, you won’t feel alone ever. I didn’t. There are millions of us. It’s by no means abnormal to be an alkie.
Pick a few resources and stick w them. After a few weeks, mix and match. Resources for our recovery
Meetings should be high on your list.
Stay active here: Checking in daily to maintain focus #55
This is what some ppl have found helped them: Your #1 tip for sobriety (over 2 years sober)
Good luck! It can be done, but only by you!