isn’t it something how we feel sooo confident that we’ll never use again? Im am disgusted to even think about it for months, and then, BAM!
I get this major “F” it moment. I lose clarity. And i forget the huge price that’s paid to get my fix. And then afterwards, I wonder, “What happened? How did I go downhill so fast?”
For me, with every relapse, there has been a learning opportunity. Whatever that was, I had to determine what God wanted me to learn and apply it to my life.
Hey buddy, I’m sorry to hear of your struggles, but man am I glad you’re back on here. I’d love to hear how your next meeting goes. I will stay watching this thread so we can connect on your progress. I’m glad you’re back on the wagon. 
Hi guys im from Antwerp,Belgium .
Been clean for 3 weeks now not using any crack or weed … its tough but im hanging in there! I want to wish everybody good Luck may God save us all!!
9 months clean now. It took a medical emergency to wake me.up.
1 more day to to 1 year. Hopefully I make it. This is the worst time of the year for me. Last year I almost overdosed. Still recovering from it. That bars are all closed is a definite plus for an addict alcoholic like myself.
I’ll tell you what prayer gave me strength during times I was close to relapsing.
I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalms 34:4 KJV
Thanks for posting your progress here. Your story is helpful for me, because I can relate. I have been in and out of rehab for 17 years- those relapses after 6-12 months were the worst for me. I think the important things for me were that I learned from each relapse, and that they got shorter and less frequent. Stay strong, I hope you are still doing well.
Congratulations on making your first year sober/clean!! I was reading your thread and it was touch and go there in the beginning, but it just goes to show what we really can do and achieve if we have enough courage and determination! Your strength & courage are admirable. You are deserving of so much happiness, love and joy. Good on you @Marcuse 
I missed this the first time around, sounds like u had a few bumps, but got there in the end! Well done!
Ok tend to have this same problem I believe we could benefit from sharing with one another I need to figure this out. Its insane I do it one night and right back to being clean. 
Shaking my head
This is amazing. Hope you are still doing good my friend xo Prayers your way 
Now I am clean over a year.
you must understand this is a matter of life or death
Thanks any advice I appreciate it thanks
Hey there…sorry to hear that your struggling. First…using the acronym HALT…does feeing Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired resonate with you now?? If so…which ones? Perhaps we can figure out a way to deal directly with these?
Also…let’s play this tape through for a second…say you did decide to get coke: what would happen? Well…you’d spend money getting it. Feeling a mixture of shame and excitement. Start doing it. Again…with any rush from the coke met with guilt, shame, dread etc. then, hopefully it would stop there, BUT…would drinking come in? Any other drugs? There’s always a good chance that you would get MORE blow…
Then what? It’s late at night/early in the morning and you are either running out and trying to take stuff/ drink enough to fall asleep, birds chirping, heart racing, nose all crusted up. Feeling empty in your bones and your soul…
For what? A drug who’s Effect is just making you want more of the drug?
You know it’s not worth it!!
What can you do thats life AFFIRMING today rather than life destroying?
Hey there…so are you saying you bought it but didn’t do it?
If so, I would highly recommend emptying it into your toilet right now and flushing it.
Also, I am curious since you were able to make the call, did you delete ALL your contacts?
For me, when it came to coke, I had to completely sever any connections I had to anyone that did the drug. A clean fresh start.
Hey man…Just remember how great you look with your head hovering over a line of white powder (Probably on a toilet seat or cistern) that’s been cleaned with petrol. You ever noticed the petrol aftertaste/smell of cocaine and the dirty skull crushing headache you get after? That’s why. Its because it’s cleaned with petrol. And nothing sounds better than the sound of someone snorting it up and almost choking as it hits the back of your throat and numbs the shit out of everything. Just remember how much you’re winning in that moment.
Fuck cocaine.
I’m going to zoom CA meeting tonight 6pm UK if you feel like listening for 1 hour let me know.
Your dealer is not a sound guy; he deals drugs. That’s probably one of the biggest indicators that he’s not a sound guy. I’m sure he’s probably friendly but if you ran a tick up and didn’t pay him, he’d probably cut of your legs and beat you to death with them.
I’ve een looking for zoom ca meetings but can only find aa. If you have a list please publish it.
