Soooooo, just recently on the 14th of last month I got convicted of a dui. As well as, rolling my subaru with my pup and I both in it. Thankfully we managed to walk away from the accident with minimum scratches and and soreness. I was going 35 around a corner with icy road conditions coming back from the bar (which was normal for me as well as taking my dog daughter everywhere with me), and as i went around the corner, i missed the corner and went off the road and flipped my car and rolled it. Yes the road was icy, yes i was going slower than the speed limit, but no matter what i was shitfaced drunk. Drinking and smoking my feelings away as my normal habits would consist of. My car landed on the driver side door, 5ft from a massive cedar tree, and 10ft away from the train tracks taking up all of the side street. (20min into this endeavor the train goes by) As my normal insticts were to find the door and get me and my dog out after we stopped rolling and the airbags went off. The door handles werent where they noramlly were suppose to be, basically blind because of the smoke and blurryness from the airbags going off, and my hot car burning off the fluids that leaked onto the engine block. I realized the passenger door was above me and I tried climbing out through the passenger side door to have the door fall close on me and then proceeded to get out. Immediately screamed for my dog which was my main priority before caring about my car, my injuries or my care for anything else, she was unresponsive unlike normal. I called for her again after thinking she had died, her head popped up and I pulled her out through my passenger door. She acted dazed and confused but was acting normal enough for now, i got out and looked at my car and tried rolling it back onto all fours to drive away and get out of there.
I could not roll it over onto four wheels since my rims were bent and broken and my tires were flat. I then proceeded to walk with my dog off leash across the street to go get help to call 911, i realized i only have 1 crock on but determined to not get a ticket and go to jail and have my dog put in the pound. They did not answer (it was like 1am) i heard someone yelling for me at the scene so i went over there to call 911 with there phone. They called 911 and took off before anyone got there. Cops, emts and firefighters got there within like 4min. Also did these drug addicts that saw me with my dog on the scene. I got questioned by emts to make sure i was ok, i said i dont care i feel fine im worried about my little girl. They said that she felt fine on her ribs so they werent worried. The cop insists on giving me a breathalizer then proceeds to give me a field sobriety test. Then brings me to the station for further evaluation. I gave my dog to the drug addicts that were there after they gave me there number to call in case i needed something so she wouldnt go to the pound. Told the police officers she was my cousin. They brought me to the station and gave me 2 more breathalizer tests that they didnt release my results to me. One officer leaves and i ask the one for the 3rd time what i blew he said i blew a .19 which i said was bs. I asked the other officer after he walked back in and he said they were inconclusive. I then freaked out and said your partner hear is a liar, blah blah blah. I got put in the holding cell and they asked me who i wanted them to call. I told them to call my cousin who had my dog (which wasnt my cousin) because i said last i head they were on drugs and didnt want her to sell her for dope. They treated me like i was dumb for not bringing her to the station with me, which obviously my dog wouldnt have been to come with.
After the lady came and got me i was reunited with my little girl Gracie Mae. And driven home 35min away to my house. I drank a beer on the way home to not feel the pain, and not think. I ended up smoking meth as well to ease the pain which only made it worse during and the next day. I woke up so depressed and fucked up in my head. Also only getting 3 hours of sleep.
She got a scratch on her chin, under her armpit, and on her leg. I got a scratch on my hand from the crash and a broken knuckle for getting pissed and the finessing officers and punched the holding cell wall.
Anyways, as i am still battling that dui, i am very thankful that my dog was and i are ok and nobody else got hurt or injured. I am now also battling driving by the incident and having flashbacks of flipping and air bag impact. As well as, having dreams i died and my dog sits next to me whining. Also, dreams that i killed my dog in the accident and after finding out i grab my gun and end my life so i can be with her! So as unfortunate as it was, it was a wake up call for sure and much needed excuse to stop drinking and smoking pot and drug use. Which i ultimately dont have to but i know i need to change my habits, friends i surround myself with, and the everyday lifestyle that i had.
I have been drinking and smoking for the past 10 years to cover up my feelings about what i saw as my shitty life i was just surviving in. I have been ready for a new me and a fresh slate. Drinking hasnt been much of a problem but the pot has been an everyday thing to ease my way of thinking which in the end my drinking started increasing to everyday as well. Driving from bars shitfaced, smoking while going 45mim home from the bar. Drinking when i get off work and smoking during and when i get off work as well.
For those of you still reading and following, i have learned that not feeling is unhealthy and depressing and certainly not living. Being clean and not using substances to control my overwhelming feelings and negative thoughts have been a blessing in disguise 
. Its one of the hardest decisions i have made in a long time for my own good. Putting myself first into an uncomfortable situation, but it will slightly get easier as the uncomfort becomes comfotable. Best decision so far i habe done and hope to continue this clean slate with never or very little resets. Thank you for reading my story, it was tough to reamp this incident and thoughts of dying and losing my pup. I would upload a picture of my car but it says new users cant upload images.
Whoa Kaden! That’s quite a post. Thank God you and your puppers survived that There’s a lot going on there for sure. Is there an AA close by that you can start with? There are online ones also. That could be a good place to start. You’ve been through so much- bug hugs and sending you strength 
Yeh somewhere around here, ik there are. I gotta get times and the locations. Thats actually on my list of goals i created recently. That happened on the 14th of last month. So still new and still fresh. Thank you for the support very much
Thanks for sharing your story @BigSoberDog23. This forum is wonderful if you use it for accountability, community, and distraction etc. It along with aa are big factors in how ive gotten 8 months free from weed and alcohol for the first time in 20 years.
I can totally relate to the love you have for your dog. When you are able you’ll have to share some sweet pics of your baby here:
Absolutely i will shes my beautiful babygirl. Her name is gracie, she is not very graceful but she is my saving grace!
Welcome and thank you for sharing!
Good to hear that you and Gracie are ok. Icy roads are so dangerous, I once totalled my car going 25 km/h and being completely sober.
There’s a lot of good stuff here to read around, a lot of threads to participate and check in for sharing and accountability and tools in recovery. Keep us posted!
You had allot going on wow.
I’m glad you and your doggy are okay and also so glad the Lady you gave your dog to came to help you with looking after her and then to help take you home from the station.
This sounds so scary I really am glad you are helping yourself, I’m glad you are here and I’m glad you realise that you had to do something and can’t go on like this.
Lucky no one was hurt your lucky you have this chance and I’m all glad you are doing what you need to now.
That’s what’s important is what you do now, I’m glad that you have chose to be sober instead of living in that dark place. I know it’s difficult for you as it’s all fresh and was terrifying experience but you have to try to focus on the here and now, to keep yourself on the right path.
I can feel your pain through your writing I really am glad you are here. 
sorry for never updating works been super busy. therapy went okay I told her about most of the things I was feeling and she took it way calmer than I expected. I’m doing a little better now. more numb than anything but I’ll that over how I was.
Good news! Stick with it, the honesty, and change is within your grasp. 
I’m gonna do my best
Heres my babygirl dog Gracie biggest Mae. Shes not so graceful but ill be dammned if she isnt my saving grace. One of the few reasons im still on this earth.
How’s the sobriety going? Call any rehabs? Go to any meetings? What about therapy?
If you show up to your next court date without having done anything there’s a pretty good chance they will order you to go to rehab.
Im probably gonna have to get accesed by a treatment almost no matter what. The motivation is slowly going away and depression is getting deep again. It took alot yesterday to not get high or shitfaced. But hey we made it another day! I need to go to a meeting maybe ill go into town after work and hit a meeting before the gym.
Seems like sobriety should be your top priority given your circumstances?
Should be, but my will power is extremly high, due to the fact of everyone asking me if i want alcohol and pot which i have denied all. Including figures such as my own parents and friends i need to cut off. Also, working at a restraunt/bar. But i looked up aa meetings and theres one at 4:30pm im gonna attend to tonight before my basketball games. Also i have called local parks and recs near me and they have basketbalk leagues near me starting in may im gonna sign up for. But that crap dont last forever, where my sobriety can if i push and strive for that. The biggest emotional cluster fuck have been staying out of relationships and focusing on myself which as a downfall of most, risks my sobriety and concentrations. You are aboslutely correct though
My prioritys are all over the place right now. I am trying to order them in most important to least. And its been a struggle, trying to know and not know which is right and wrong path.
Amen bro, much love fam!