Wasn’t boring at all, it was interesting reading your journey,
And give the opportunity to share my experience and hope it can help you relate or improve your life. Or provide hope.
You seem like a really sweet woman, you deserve happiness, and I hope it reaches you
212 days. Had a shitty night and a power outage from 2am until almost noon. My stepdaughter stole out of my closet again yesterday and later drew more pictures noting she is depressed because of me. I tried not to let it get to me but told my man I needed to get a few things out. Told him I was tired of being the bad guy when trying so hard to be good. I’m tired of having to literally act differently around her. I said I was drawing the line at stealing as it’s disrespectful and I wouldn’t tolerate it. After getting my feelings out his response was like a slap in the face. He went on about manifesting positive things and how he sees me stuck in the negative. I told him having positive thoughts wasn’t going to deal with the issues at hand. When I brought up consulting with a therapist he basically made it sound like he didn’t think it’s necessary and suggested her pictures are a healthy way of expressing herself. I really don’t know how much longer I can take this. I agree that I get in a negative headspace but am doing my best to do things differently. I’m not saying relationships aren’t hard but I feel like I’m forcing myself into this family and I’m about ready to give up.
You are not responsible for her feelings. Only your own,
Maybe you do have shitty headspace days. Its life we all get them.
In his response it might have been how he took the information, we don’t want to admit our loved ones especially our children need help. It almost feels like we failed.
Patience. You know that is what is needed. Therapy may speed things up and provide some resolution if done well. It is not that you are forcing yourself on the family. It is just that your stepdaughter is taking time to adjust. It can also be that she has completely unrelated issues, (not unheard of at her age!) and she is not facing them but projecting her anger on to you. Best wishes 
214 days. @Piglet you are so right. Patience is my key lately. Baby steps and a lot of the serenity prayer. I know I will get through her getting past this but dammit it’s difficult some days. Tomorrow is the wee one’s 4th birthday and I’m looking forward to it. Plans of sledding, an early supper with cake and gifts. Tonight I’m allowing myself to go lounge in my room. The kitchen and living room look like play rooms and I don’t feel like tidying so I can sit comfortably. Aside from wrapping gifts I haven’t spent any time in there today so am not and will not feel guilty.
Am in an iritated head space and not quite sure of the cause. Have been doing more thinking about going on a trip and am going to contact my girlfriend tomorrow and discuss possibilities. I know I’m not but just feeling more in the way than anything at the moment. Gonna watch an episode of my show and probably sack early.
Honestly a trip with your friend might relieve some of the tension, let you let loose. You’d be surprised of the results
I truly think I just need a getaway. Not a run away per se but just a me break. Getting to see three friends will do my spirit good.
I believe so.
You been running yourself hard with the fam, a few days of relief might do you good
215 days. Plans for sledding and then supper, cake and presents. Right now I’m dreading the presents lol. Aside from my bedroom, there are toys on every floor and scattered about the entire house. I know they’re kids but today it’s irritating. Don’t feel like stewing about it but don’t plan on cleaning it either. Focus on a happy day today and a roadtrip tomorrow.
I am so excited for you and your trip!!!
Was surprised earlier as my man tidied and vacuumed the living room before heading out. The toys have some free floor space lol. Sledding was a blast. . . longest run was my man & I. . .had some good giggles. Waiting on hotdogs for their supper and my man thought of me & bought me a chef’s salad. I’m not a hotdog fan at all and that was sweet of him. A lil twist to my trip. Thought girlfriend knew I meant this week but when I said if she’s willing to have me, I’m ready for a roadtrip she replied we would have to plan a date. I asked how Tuesday sounds lol. She has yet to reply but I’ll busy my mind with birthday candles and spectating present opening.
I struggle with that but yeah
Feeling the feelings has been the hardest. Numbing any and all feelings was easy but it caused more destruction than healing. Identifying where the feelings come from hasn’t been an easy process but it has been the most rewarding.
218 days. Just not feeling it today. The weather sucks monkey balls. Was supposed to be working today helping my man’s friend insulate a building and start work on the floor. Due to the nasty windy weather work has been postponed to Friday. Had an episode with my stepdaughter this morning as I caught her 3x within less than an hour watching videos instead of doing school work. Between yesterday and today I’m about ready to drop kick her attitude. I thought I snapped out of my funk but here I sit uncomfortably. Where pride should be today there is frustration and anger. I could sit here and bawl uncontrollably and find no relief. I know I need to change my frame of mind but today I just don’t see it happening. Was on my way out to the camper for some alone time and wiped out totally sprawled out on my back. This day fucken sucks and I’m only 3 hours in. FML
The day didn’t get much better and I rode it out. Just feeling really blah today and kind of down. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m good with going to bed early and letting today be over.
Sweet dreams my dear, Wishing you the reset you need tonight. Hope you are not too sore from you wipeout😔. We can only control so much and have to let some of that shit go. Like you said tonorrow is a new day. Tonight, let it go…dont give it anymore power over you. Breath and see us again tomorrow…also ear plugs, I highly recommend ear plugs😘 Big love to you!
219 days. I’m really craving intimacy and affection. I want to talk to my man about this but I’m not too sure how to convey I want/need more without making it an issue. I am a very loveable affectionate person but with the stepdaughter issues we no longer show any type of affection in front of her and this is making it difficult for me. I’m used to a kiss, hugging, cuddling, grazing a leg or ass cheeks etc. but am forced at the moment to hold back. My man is also on shift right now so his sleep pattern is altered and even my bedtime cuddles have been absent. I know this may seem like such a small issue but it’s eating at me and I feel like my love tank is empty 
