227 days and the day was good. Almost finished the insulation and was told I was the best helper he’s had so far and one of them was my man’s brother so I’m lmao. My back is a little sore as I’m not used to doing all the climbing like I was up and down the scaffolding. Hopefully my man will give me a nice lil massage before I crawl into bed tonight. He’s working at 1 but not sure if his cousin is coming to visit tonight like he does most Fridays. Thinking it’s possible as my man’s sleeping now. Don’t care what’s for supper as long as I don’t have to cook it lol. Working again tomorrow to finish up the insulation and then we’re waiting on lumber for flooring. Getting out was just what I needed and it feels good to be told I did a good job
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228 days. It’s amazing what one day of working did for me. I’m looking forward to materials being delivered and being able to assist with laying down the flooring. The feelings of accomplishment and pride for a job well done have been absent in this way for me. I know people say a job isn’t going to make you happy but I know for me it does a tremendous amount of mental uplifting.
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It makes all the sense in the world. And the fact you are doing physical work in unhumanly (meaning cold) conditions impresses the hell out of me. Desk job and I cry when the temp is below 60.
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This! I’m really happy for you that you’ve found an outlet and a way to feel productive. It’s so important to getting outside of ourselves. Am going to start looking for the same!
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229 days. My stepdaughter has gained quite a bit of weight and is in need of all types of clothing. I suggested a shopping trip several times and today we’re doing it. Originally my man indicated I would be going with both the girls on my own. Told him sorry just not into taking them both by myself. So now we’re all going. I’m glad he’s making the effort but do feel guilty about his lacking sleep opportunity. I know I’ll be having a nap when I get home lol. Hope to have a great afternoon and maintain a positive presence.
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YIKES good luck! Shopping with kids for clothes can be rough! Hope you get some good finds.
I honestly would rather curl up with a good book but felt this may provide a bit of a bonding experience. Was never my intention to take the wee one with us but we’ll see how it goes. Thankfully she’s not really fussy and the two stores we’re going to should have a wide selection. Most important is the fit and I’m already dreading being told there’s no access to dressing rooms.
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Bring snacks! 
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McDonald’s is one of the encouraging factors to behave lol
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So smart!!!
230 days. Shopping was a success yesterday. She was able to find 5 full outfits and did a modeling show for me when we got home. I slept like shit again last night as I couldn’t shut my mind down. My man and I were discussing yesterday what I think is a bad idea of purchase (older small transit bus) and he continued on about how negative I am. I didn’t lose my cool, because the girls were in the truck, but his words stuck with me for the rest of the day. I’m tired of hearing that my sensibility is negative. I started questioning our entire relationship and I really don’t know if this is where I want to be. Knowing how hard I have worked toward sustaining this relationship makes it difficult to think about ending it. I haven’t too many days ahead of me before my one year and have decided if I don’t feel more secure in this relationship I am going to walk away. My love tank continues to hover at empty and I’m tired of saying how I feel to either be laughed at, ignored or have behaviour change for a day or two and then just resume as if I haven’t said anything. It’s sounds terrible saying it but I feel like I’m a roommate around for housework and an occasional booty call. I want, need & deserve so much more. I’m not going to dwell on it today and plan to get out by myself and maybe treat myself to some retail therapy. Time to do wake ups for school preparation and when my man gets home I think I’ll crawl back into bed for a bit.
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Wellll. . .I’ve started laundry and packed my toiletries bag. Not sure where I’m going first but know the general direction I’m going. Friend’s or cousin’s first is undecided. The big question is if one box of hair dye is enough 
. As long as my man will keep my dog, I’ll be checking out when he comes home from work tomorrow morning. Found myself looking at places for rent again this morning and know getting away for some me time is a great idea. Just packing my toiletries bag was feeling good.
Placing this here as a reminder to myself while I’m gone and plan on bringing it into future discussion with myself and others.
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I’m excited for you Michelle. I think time away is just what you need. Safe travels!
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Wishing you the best on your MUCH needed trip. Big hugs to you and be safe (Totally channeling mom mode right about now)
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I’m glad you recognize this! I know in the end, stay or go, you will make the right decision. Why? Because you are very sober and have given your situation much thought. No drunken, impulsive decisions for you
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So it’s decided and I’m heading out tomorrow morning to my friend’s for a few days and then to my cousin’s for a day or so I even get her apartment to myself. I’m soooooo excited.
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231 days. Just waiting for my man to come home and then I’m hitting the road. I feel like a kid at Christmas! Haven’t been this excited in a while and am going to ride this feeling for as long as I can. Part of me is saddened this morning as I feel like I’m leaving this relationship. I know, at this time, I’m not but my mind and body are kinda feeling that way. I will have lots of time to think and two important women in my life to bounce my thoughts around with. Today I’m just going to focus on getting my ass out of here.
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232 days. Sitting here this morning feeling worse than before I left home. As I was saying goodbye yesterday I became angry. I felt like it didn’t matter to my man if I left and that just heightened the feelings that I’m really leaving him. He didn’t call or anything yesterday to see if I made it and when I tried calling and texting I got no response. I had a good chat with my friend last night about this and I’m left feeling very melancholy. I think I need to get my thoughts together and have a good heart to heart with my man. I’m not sure where I even want to start.
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After the phone conversation I just had I’m ready to be done. I will try my best to enjoy my time away but think I’ll be going home with the goal of getting a job and getting out of that house and relationship. I’m tired of giving 90% and getting back 40%.
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You know what? I’m proud of you for being so self aware and taking the steps you needed to in order to make a tough choice. You knew you needed to get away to get some confirmation of your feelings and you did that. You are able to take feedback and information from your surroundings and use that to make the best choice for you and your future. That is not easy! Sending you strength and positivity, and hugs, of course.
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