Write them down in bullet points, for yourself.
Just remember the serenity prayer; you’re doing so much work and I’m proud of you, btw!
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Umm… I understand if you rather not discuss this on an open forum but why are you having roommates??
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I hope he understands and is supportive. That is a lot of people under one roof. Go for that drive! Stay strong…you have so many days!!
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My man has a very big heart and will help out people whenever he can. The first guy to move in was struggling with depression due to the pandemic and we told him to come here. He took 3 days to drive here and has been here since Christmas. I really like him, but the invaded space is still an issue. The 2nd guy walks around with a grey cloud above him and I’m still not entirely sure how he ended up here but he was evicted from his house in another province and now his “visit” is residency! I truly don’t want either of them here but can’t kick them out either. Unfortunately it’s one of those it is what it is scenarios and I’m trying to deal with it.
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Sitting here bawling yet again. Voiced how I felt I was drowning and at the moment I’m not sure if I even felt heard. Told him some comments would be appreciated and he said he’s trying to process right now. I’ve gone from angry to sad. Definitely need to get out today and think I may head into the city for a chicken shawarma and hit the lake on the way home for a screaming session. I’m just so pent up with emotions it’s not even funny.
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At least someone is proud of me. I feel like I’m stepping backwards.
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Maybe time for another road trip.
Don’t put everyone’s needs first either.
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258 days. Ended up going for a drive yesterday, having a chicken shawarma and then going to my friend’s where I unpacked and bawled. While doing so I got a call that my cousin, whom was like my brother, passed away. He had od’d & it was Fentanyl. I will not let my addiction win because I lost him to his. I’m not okay and that’s okay. I just want to not feel but I’m no longer bursting at the seams, I have completely burst. Want to curl up in the arms of my man and hold my shattered pieces together.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. Condolences for the family. Big hugs, dear one.
Edit: added pic.
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I’m so sorry, Michelle. Sending big, strong hugs, sweetie. 
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I’m so sorry Michelle. My heart breaks for you. Sending you lots of love and strength to get through these tough times. 
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259 days. I’m still very raw and it has just coupled with my anger and irritability. Drinking thoughts aren’t even there but I feel like I’m dysfunctional on autopilot. Trying to make it through this day the best I can. It’s only been one day and I need to grieve. Girls bedtime in 3 hours and I’m sure I’ll be tucking myself in shortly thereafter.
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So sorry for your loss. You have so many other challenges. Sometimes sleep is the best remedy. (Hugs)
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I’ve been thinking of you and sending you peace at this awful time. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Hugs.
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Hi Michelle,
I have just been catching up with your thread. Firstly, I am sorry for your loss. 
Last year I lost several people close to me including my mother, in December so all I can really say is that I understand what you are going through, although each of us experience grief in different ways.
I would advise saying everything that you need to to your man, including how you feel about your house guests and if necessary, set a timetable for change. Tell him everything you feel about him and your family and what you would like to see from your side. It is not whining, it is being assertive. It is also being authentic.
Gabor Maté says that we often have a conflict between our need for attachment and our need for authenticity. Attachment leads us down the road of conformity and co-dependence and sacrificing our own genuine needs so as to not rock the boat. Authenticity is the freedom to be our true selves and express our feelings and our desires. I would suggest that perhaps you have let attachment win over for too long and, although you may end up with a compromise, remember that you and your needs are important. It’s your life too. Best wishes. 
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Thank you so much for this. I actually just had the conversation with him last night that my feelings are mine and he needs to stop invalidating them. I shared a meme you posted on another thread and explained to him that when he tells me to be positive I feel like he’s dismissing my feelings. I don’t see him addressing the additional presence in our household per se but I will no longer stay quiet and have set a timetable of sorts for myself. I’m really hoping to get working soon and plan to do a huge evaluation of how things are then.
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261 days. Just made a decision that could set myself up for some emotional days. I am not going to ask for or seek out touches, kisses, cuddles nor sex. I’m already feeling rejection and I’m only now telling myself this. If/when asked about my “distance” I will explain my empty love tank once more. If not, I will be paving new paths upon obtaining employment. I have the sole responsibility to be happy and if when I voice my needs and they’re repeatedly unmet I need to look after my happiness.
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Just realized how much work I have to do on feelings of rejection but this time there’s boundaries.
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263 days. It’s only been two days and I’m definitely feeling rejected. It’s like my lacking affection goes unnoticed. Currently sitting getting an oil change done and wrote this while sitting here. Plan to try and go for a drive and talk today and will give this to him then. I’m not expecting much and have honestly changed my focus to moving out either way. I’m tired of feeling like this and will definitely be gone if I’m still feeling like this once employed.
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265 days. Heading to the hotel and waterslides late afternoon. I have an interview for an administrative position at 3 and am not even looking forward to it. Not sure that is a good sign but I’ll go through the process. Emailed the management of the position I interviewed for in February asking if I’m still a candidate and what the status of the competition is. I’m having a low day & need to lift my spirits. This afternoon can’t come fast enough. I’d ask about an early check in but my interview interferes 
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