I haven’t kept up; how come she’s still there? And how is your man acting towards you, is he making you feel loved and wanted?
I don’t think I could live that way. YOU are a great lady so don’t cut yourself short. Sometimes it gets to be enough.
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She’s here on an extended visit basically living with us. My man has been very loving and attentive. However, it doesn’t matter what I try I have this sense of jealousy around her and/or feeling like I’m in the way when it comes to the girls. Me focusing on coping until she leaves doesn’t work as I don’t think she’ll be leaving anytime soon. Sooooo I need to find a healthier approach to this. I want to find peace within this situation somehow.
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OMFG, I feel like I’m going to lose my shit on this cunt. She has been asked not to drink around the girls so she now hangs in the garage drinking. My man went and put the little one to bed & I was watching tv with the oldest. The cunt comes in and laughs around with her daughter over pictures on her phone and then says to her daughter well maybe we’ll go sleep in Dad’s bed. I said no you won’t because that’s my bed too. She replied that it is her bed and I said yeah the mattress may have been. She took off back out to the garage and it took my all to not follow her. I want to tell her that the items in this house may have been hers at one time but she fucked things up and they’re not hers anymore. I want to tell her that she is here to be with the girls and if she tries to fuck with me I will fuck her up. I can’t even talk to my man about it right now as he fell asleep with the lil one. Going to stay put in the livingroom and watch a movie. I pray she doesn’t come in & push any of my buttons because it won’t take much to light my fuse.
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I think she’s got an agenda and she’s manipulating this whole thing. Is she flirty towards him?
Id have some hard and fast rules that are NOT to be crossed. She’s messing with you.
It’s sounds like a combustible situation.
Try to rise above her shit and don’t fall for it. I think he should be the one to tell her what’s unacceptable too.
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456 days. I sit here broken hearted. I’m thankful for work today so I can’t completely fall apart and shut down. I have an appointment with my addictions counselor at 3:00 but am beginning to wonder if this issue of mine would be better addressed with a therapist. My fuse was lit last night & I blew. Long story short but the ex and I verbally argued and I physically pushed her out of my face. Many hurtful things were said but how it’s ended has left my mind spinning and my heart feeling like it has exploded. The oldest heard the arguing and possibly witnessed the shove. She woke her Dad up in hysterics and he stopped the fight. The three of them went outside to calm my stepdaughter down. I continued to watch my movie and anxiously anticipated talking with my man. Instead he came inside, put his daughter to bed and gave me the cold shoulder when I said I was going to bed and asked for a kiss goodnight. He wouldn’t kiss me and said not now. My heart hurts as I realized I had become the bad guy in it all. When my man came to bed he noted that I have picked at and pushed away anyone who has come to live in this house. He told me that I could go have my own space and my own place cuz he’s done and I could move out. He said he was done talking and was going to sleep. I tried my best to shut my mind down and sleep but my attempts were futile. I asked him if we could talk over coffee this morning as I had some questions. I asked if he meant get out now or if I had time to find a place. I also asked if this was the end of us & how it will work until I move. Neither question was really answered as he replied we’ll see how things go. Now he’s in the shower and I’m trying to get some courage to go into the house and get myself ready for work. It’s hard as I wish to curl into the fetal position and bawl my eyes out.
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Oh Michelle, Im sorry that chaos is playing out there.
Leave when you’re able to and hold your head high. I have no doubt she knew what she was doing before that blow up.
Hugs sweetie…
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I agree with Donna, she knew what she was doing. Him siding with his ex is beyond conceivable to me. Big hugs! 
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Oh shit girl, I’m sorry things have got to this point. Seeing a therapist sounds like a good idea. Hang in there. You’re not a villain, that’s not how life goes. It’s much more complex. Which brings me to a point. I’m not sure if there’s a cultural difference here that I’m not picking up but this…
Sounds like he’s running a shelter with all those weird roommates. Then having an ex live together with all of you sounds really odd, even if it was “for the kids”. Considering all these, you’ve held out long. I’ve understood you’ve not had a say who gets to live with you. That is an unfair setting in a relationship , IMHO.
Again, I’m sorry you’re hurting. We’re here for you.
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Oh man girl. I wish you were physically here. I feel so alone right now and would be lying if I said I didn’t want to drink. Work is supposed to serve as a distraction today but I honestly can’t focus on anything but literally holding myself together right now.
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Don’t give them the satisfaction of falling apart, you have more strength and dignity than you know. That’s enough of that. 
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But it hurts so bad
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If you can keep yourself from drinking, you have won a massive battle. You’re going through a crisis, it’s quite natural you can’t focus on much. You know this, you know alcohol won’t make anything better, there is no release, it’ll just fuck up your relationships even worse.
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It does, you gave your all to that family. And you shouldn’t feel bad that you have the capacity to love like that. I don’t think it was returned to the degree that you deserved.
Oh man I wish I could give you a big sister hug.
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I know alcohol won’t help anything and will only make matters worse but I just don’t want to feel anything right now. I feel like I’m being punished for sticking up for myself. I have worked so hard on this relationship and I know nothing is worth losing my sobriety but I fucken hurt and I’m lost.
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I second Donna here. You have a big heart, and big hearts hurt hurt hurt when they break. You gave what you had, took on his children, worked on yourself but I don’t think he saw you as an equal partner. Sending you hugs too.
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I can’t remember our timezone difference but if you want to chat, zoom or something like that, just reach out.
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I’m awaiting a response from my boss but plan to leave work. My coworker has offered me her guesthouse until I can find a place. I am not decided yet but am going to go there for today. I feel weak by doing so but know I’m of no use to my job right now.
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It’s not weak, it’s smart. I’m glad you have that guesthouse as an option. A safe place to vent, be yourself and regroup. Take your time.
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How are you doing, Michelle?
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I haven’t been able to eat but am having some chicken broth at the moment. My mind won’t calm enough for sleep but I have tried. I did my addictions appointment by phone and developed a safety/self-care plan for the next 24-48 hours. I have been invited to stay here until I find my own place and right now that’s comforting. The thought of even going to my man’s house increases my anxiety tenfold. He has agreed to bring me some things and to talk. I don’t even know what to say right now. I don’t even know if there is still an us. My mind is concerned about missing work and needing the money. My mind is all over the place and I’m in a fog of sorts.
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