Happy to hear from you, Michelle but sorry you’re going through some tough shit at the moment. Stay strong and know we’re here rooting for you. Sending you strength and good vibes. 
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I have had a few good cries and an unexpected release of some anger in a positive but assertive way. There is a meeting being held at 8 (1 hour from now) and I am to be informed of their decision afterwards. I wish minutes would fly by now. I just admitted to an active addict that Im here as a safety plan. It felt good to be proud while admitting my addiction and the fear of relapse despite being 28 months sober. I gave this person my number and told them to pick up the phone instead of a bottle next time.
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I don’t know what kind of decision is being made but regardless good for using your tools and not drinking. Crying is one of my favorite things to do now. So cathartic. Sleep like a baby after.
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Truth be told I won’t sleep until the decisions have been made and I’m aware of them. Going to watch what I call a brainless movie where I dont really have to pay attention, can kinda zone out & laugh.
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Well, I will be putting my sober head on the pillow tonight. I was terminated from my job today after returning from a leave I started in June a couple months after my Dad passed away. I wasn’t mentally able to work and wasnt prepared mentally to return to work full time. I requested a graduated return and was denied. Maybe the termination is a blessing in disguise but I have some decisions to make about a Human Rights’s claim and wrongful dismissal. I am just so tired of feeling like I have to fight for my right to enjoy a peacefully sober life. Why does everything have to be an obstacle?
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Ugh. I’m sorry your workplace wasn’t willing to extend grace towards you and consider your mental health. I remember you saying often that the work is super stressful and draining? I hope you find something better.
Have a good rest girl.
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Sorry to hear this but proud of your for advocating for yourself. It will definitely be an important decision between challenging this outcome or moving on to something that better suits and supports you. Tough call. I’m just so glad you came here to get the extra support when you needed it - that shows so much strength. I admire that and you! Hope you get some good rest.
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Just want to check in the morning letting you knoe i had a good day yesterday, and a good sleep and hopefully a better day today without alcohol and cigarettes. Its going to be a double wammy trying to quit both at thd same time but my husband is finally agreed to quit smoking and i dont want to smoke anymore for our health and well-being so im doing it along with him. I guess i need to keep my hands really busy and buy some hard candy. 
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31 months + sober. Its definitely been a bit. Tonight I find myself seeking a place to release some thoughts. ***The following IS NOT ABOUT THE BEER BITCH BRAIN NOR A THREAT TO MY SOBRIETY ***
As I lay in my created space, within my own place, I lay knowing many of my belongings, items I currently wish for and my Jeep (AKA Jack) are across the way & down the street. All of these things I angrily walked away from as I was slightly aware I was angry at a cycle in my addiction. I didn’t stop angrily walking to commend myself for the awareness and strength to know I wanted & needed to be at my place. I’m uncertain why I didn’t place my things in Jack & drive home but am fairly certain I needed the walk in the fresh air. I haven’t yet decided when my “day” is going to end, as I lay here feeling sober, safe & interested in this addiction they call codependency. I don’t know if I want to “work” tomorrow from 6-8:30. . I know I need to work on the balance between doing what I want to, not doing what I don’t want to & doing what I should.I am not going to think or worry about tomorrow. I know I needed to get these thoughts out in a safe place, as I lay in my created space.
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Good to see you check in, Michelle!
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Good to see you surface. Thank you for a proof of life. Stay safe.
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31 months + sober.
Today is a new day. I didnt “work” today and that’s a story for another day. Still trying to process last night’s thoughts as I putz around my house today. I’m emotionally exhausted and contemplating a nap on my new bed with my kitlet. I’m thankful for my sobriety today. I’m thankful for the wrap around support I requested for myself. I’m extremely thankful for a place of my own that nobody and nothing can take away from me. I’m not looking forward to contacting my bills today as I finally have $ in my account since November 1st. I am still unable to return to the workforce and my ability to do so has remained unknown since I took a leave in June 2022.
Soooo. . .today I’m going to try not to worry too much. Today I again have let go & let Creator guide my day.
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32 months+ sober. As I wake thankful for another day, I sit & ponder my purpose. Many spiritual signs over this past week have highlighted my compassion and big hearted ways with 4-legged beings. Even as I type this I feel I need to add 3-legged beings as that better describes one of the cats at my house whom I “inherited” as her human let go of life support. The 3rd cat at my house right now is a fucken cutie pie kitten whose owners didn’t want him. I said I will find a better home for him and 2 sleeps later, I’m still thinking my home is where he may stay. Last night I helped an 11-year old girl search for her little kitten who got outside and couldnt be found during the snow storm. This morning I ponder if this too is part of my purpose. As I get ready to go home I’m almost positive the 11-year old is coming home with me to meet my new kitten. Her kitten was possibly looking for a new home as she, her sister & myself all appear allergic to her. Perhaps the new kitten at my house may have a new home & I may be looking for her kitten again today and looking for a new home for her. I will see as the day unfolds.
Today I’m taking 2 girls to the water park & I think I might be more excited than they are.
Today is going to be a great day and I know it will end with my sober head on a pillow.
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32 months+ sober. As I reflect upon this morning and afternoon, I find myself curious about my unhealthy attachment style. I learnt a lot about myself today as I shed both tears of happiness and sadness. I was able to come out of my comfort zone to go see an old friend, who is 9 years sober, and today I was told it does get easier. Today has been a good day and I’m thankful for the lessons & signs I was able to hear, see & feel clearly. My feelings had me quite anxious at different moments today but im thankful to feel these feelings and not just feel drunk. I will not drink because I don’t drink. I learned today I still have a long journey ahead of me.
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32 months+ sober. As I sit in my home alone, I realize this step of healing I’m doing isn’t from my “sickness” and instead is about mending a heart. A heart that is so big & beautiful with so much love to give. A heart that is overjoyed as I spent yesterday afternoon, evening & overnight at my baby girl’s house with my grandbabies. A heart that aches from the pain my spirit has been through in my 48 years on Mother Earth. A heart that connects with my tongue and enjoys conversation with other beautiful people. A heart that has connected with a beautiful mind & together with my spirit are on a journey of healing. I am a brave spirit who set the bottle aside so I can love and be loved on my journey with my “family” alongside me. The Beer Bitch Brain isnt welcome on this journey and I won’t drink because I dont drink.
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That’s awesome, Michelle. Glad you got that time with your family.
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32 months+ sober. As I sit in a good friend’s house I am thankful for many things. I am thankful 1st & foremost for having the strength to set the bottle down. I am thankful for the courage to love myself as I am and for the courage to change the things about me that I WANT to. I am thankful for the love I feel around me as people get to know sober, healing me. I am thankful for the honesty of those I love about sober me. I am thankful for the clarity I see, now that the fog has lifted. I am thankful for love and laughter. I am thankful for another day.
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32 months+ sober. As I wind down from a great day, I find myself reflecting on the many lessons and signs I’ve felt, heard & seen already this week. I am proud of myself for not having expectations nor disappointments but learning healthy boundaries and requirements. I am proud of the sober person Im becoming. I am proud of my journey in recovery and I love myself. I will no longer allow other people’s opinions to alter my love for myself. I will no longer allow other’s behaviors to be viewed as something wrong with me. I will continue to be myself and know that I’m following my heart. I will accept full responsibility for my words and my actions and I will not drink because I do not drink.
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It’s not a man thing. I never leave without saying goodbye, or a kiss or see you later… but then again maybe it’s my feminine side 
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Wow, Michelle! I’ve followed this thread for quite some time. What happened to you? It’s a complete 180 degree change. I’m grateful that you shared your gratitude with us. It will help me stay sober today. Inspired by you.
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