Hey guys I just downloaded this app. I need company because I’m at the lowest point I could ever get. So much stuff is happening the last five months and I can’t handle it by my myself anymore. I have a partner who is so loving and caring but he just doesn’t understand the struggle.
My mom died in June my Dog died in July and my other Dog got put down four days ago. I really need some advice to keep going with my plan to get sober.
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Welcome to the forum, @chess-the-mess95, glad you found us! 
I can only imagine how difficult a time you must have recently, with all that loss. It’s all the more commendable that you are trying sobriety when life is dealing you lemons. Are you following a program and/or have you thought about a plan?
This thread may be useful to you:
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Hi Jessi, welcome to Talking Sober. It sounds like addiction is really kicking your ass right now - but it also sounds like you want to kick addiction’s ass, and that’s good.
You are not alone. Just about everybody here has been exactly where you are. Scroll through the checkin thread (Checking in daily to maintain focus #71 - #806 by mxelle) and the gratitude thread (Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #8 🪷 - #69 by JazzyS) and you’ll see lots of stories of challenges and learning (personally I find a lot of them inspiring).
If you’re looking for a recovery group you can join (for some regular in person or online/Zoom meetings), and/or if you wanna read some “quit lit” to learn from others who have walked the path before, check out this thread: Resources for our recovery
You can do it. You need help and guidance from people who have done it before - we all do - but it is possible. One day at a time.
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No actually I’m not following a program. I try to do this on my own because i’m such a shy person and I hate to talk about my issues in person. My biggest problem is going to sleep. my dreams are bad and i struggle with that for the last ten years. i’m afraid that no one wants to help me because i made appointments and the doctors didnt care
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I’m incredibly sorry, this is a lot of loss, big losses too 
I can imagine grief is present.
I’m intensely struggling at the moment too. @Matt tagged my share in the check in thread and I appreciate he did that. It makes me think that, however low we are feeling, we can share (here), we can just be not doing well together. I’ve connected to how sad I am. Even lost.
Just be not ok, its ok to not be ok. And if you need help, go get it. We dont know what tomorrow holds, or in a month from now, as long as we try to stay sober, we give ourselves more of a chance for those outcomes to be better.
Hold on with me, alright? 
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I’m holding on with all of you
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Maybe try ameeting lots of shy people who decided to try them and have managed to make new friends wish you well
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I dont know if there are meetings like that in germany. I know there are groups to talk about it but I need someone to focus on ME. I dont wanna seem selfish but I really need help.
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I can relate. You are not alone. I’m also new to this, day one. I also have a loving kind boyfriend who I have hurt repeatedly from my actions. It’s soul crushing. But you need to give yourself grace and hopefully your partner does that same. But even if they cannot stand by you during this sobriety journey. I will be here for you, along with all the other people in this community I wish I had better advice but just wanted you to know we will be okay 
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I understand. I’ve been struggling myself. I’m glad you found this site. I turn to it at times when things seem hopeless. There is going to be pain and discomfort and disappointment but there will also be joy and peace and hope. You don’t have to drink or use. You will get through this.
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Hey,
Welcome to our community. It’s a big first step to reach out for help.
We have several options here in Germany, AA (video, email, f2f), Kreuzbund, Freundeskreis, Blaues Kreuz and many more. Not all of them follow a exact program as maybe AA. There are people to support each other on they way to abstain from their addictions. You can go and ask in the Caritas, Suchtberatung for example.
Keep in mind, it’s such a huge step to ask for help, noone will judge you there or here.
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How are you doing?
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I feel your pain. I lost my mom over a year ago. It has been a really bumpy year. The shittiest part about losing my mom was not having to call my dad and tell him that something was wrong, but it was that i was the one that found her, 8 hours after her stroke started. I was doing ok with it for a while but then drinking and drugging came in and now i cant get the look on her face out of my head. All i can say is, good job for finding this app as i did. Keep going to meetings if you are going, if you arent, go. You dont have to speak, just listen. And also, it kept you from drinking. Its helped me these last three days. You may not feel like it at first, but just now going to a meeting, you’ll be in a room filled full of people battling the same thing. You are whether or not their story is the same as yours. They’re still battling the same thing, and that thing is, getting sober everyone in that room. Their common goal is to get silver and to stay sober. I highly suggest. That you do go to a meeting and start continuing to go to those meetings
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I feel like the more time passes the struggle gets bigger. Around the time she passed I still hung out with friends and tried to live my life as normal as possible, but now I’m all alone at home til my bf comes home from work. My stepdad doesn’t bother coming home til around 8 pm, but I don’t wanna complain cause he struggles in his own way. I just wish I wouldn’t be so lonely
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Its so frustratig cause I cant live freely in this house because I physically can’t be in the rooms where my mom used to stay. Livingroom is my absolute hell and the kitchen (where we had our own funny drinking space together) is kind of okay. a few days ago I touched her blanket by accidend and i cried for like 2 hours straight.
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I have one maybe two suggestions, i know dealing with loss is hard and what I’m going to say I probably need to do as well. However, the one thing you need to do is whether or not you believe in a higher power or not. You need to speak to that higher power. It may not feel like anything is happening, but just let it out and find a way to come to terms. And find some closure. I need to do the same myself. I’m not gonna lie, but sometimes for me. Just giving some advice to someone else who’s struggling with the same thing. It does make me feel better, but you know that was my mom who I was raised by who birthed me who I was the closest to between both of my parents. Granted, I’m very close with my dad now. But that’s my mom, you know, and the fact that I found her in the worst possible state I could ever find Her in is one of those things I can’t Really describe. It’s f****** hell is what it is, but the thing that’s been helping me these last 4 days. Not just with you know, drinking and addiction and everything like that. This all kind of plays into it is going to meetings. It works for some people, but as far as being lonely. Part going to a meeting at least you’re with people and in the same room with others that are going through something similar. So I would say, give it a chance, give it aand what I’m going to say I probably need to do as well. However, the one thing you need to do is whether or not you believe in a higher power or not. You need to speak to that higher power. It may not feel like anything is happening, but just let it out and find a way to come to terms. And find some closure. I need to do the same myself. I’m not gonna lie, but sometimes for me. Just giving some advice to someone else who’s struggling with the same thing. It does make me feel better, but you know that was my mom who I was raised by who birthed me who I was the closest to between both of my parents. Granted, I’m very close with my dad now. But that’s my mom, you know, and the fact that I found her in the worst possible state I could ever find Her in is one of those things I can’t Really describe. It’s f****** hell is what it is, but the thing that’s been helping me these last 4 days. Not just with you know, drinking and addiction and everything like that. This all kind of plays into it is going to meetings. It works for some people, but as far as being lonely. Part going to a meeting at least you’re with people and in the same room with others that are going through something similar. So I would say, give it a chance, give it a try. I mean, everybody struggles in their own way as well with grief. There’s 5 stages and honestly, a pastor would be able to tell you better than I could about that those 5 stages, but and deals with all 5 of your emotions, and they don’t come in any particular order.
Take it from somebody who’s going through loss like you are and battling addiction as well on top of that. That try going to a meeting or find a support group of some sort. Maybe it’s not alcohol or anything like that. You’re dealing with, and you just need the support group to deal with this grief. They’re out there. You just gotta find him.
I mean them, but I wish the best for you. Keep your head up, keep one foot in front of the other. You got this
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I don’t really believe in anything. Neil DeGrasse Tyson said in an interview “if there is a god he is either not all powerful or not all good” and that makes sense. The world is an awful place right now and no matter where or what you’re looking at it’s just heartwrenching and sad. So yeah, i got my problems with higher power.
But good news… i got an appointment at my doctors office next week. Maybe he can help me find an psychologist.
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the doctors appointment went really good. he was such an incredibly nice human being and i’m so happy he’s not an asshole 
i feel a lot better lately and i hope you guys feel better too. stay strong
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