I prayed and read the daily reflections
I fulfilled the promises I made my kids without passing them off with more empty promises
Had an awful argument with my wife this afternoon, terrible day overall. Almost relapsed, but took my 2 kids for a drive by the beach and to watch the sunset. After that we played hide and seek at home. It felt great. Now im here more calm and clean for one more day.
Took a couple hours to sit with a newcomer just listening and sharing similarities…
To stay clean I had to pull myself through,I fought urges,I argued with my inner voice the pull was so so powerful that I sat and cried and prayed for it to be lifted from me,I look back two days later with hope that ive learnt that sitting with ourselves and feeling the pain of wanting but knowing that just BC I want does not give me permission to do,I have to ask myself the questions of what I’m feeling,how I’m acting, etc etc.
Went on a long power walk with my iTunes on my favorite angry play list.
Eminem
Dr. Dre
K-os
Fabolous
ZZ Ward
Snoop Dog.
2Pac
And a bunch of other angry rap artist. After a 1 hour power walk listening to that I feel drained and like I let all my emotions out and then hot shower and I feel so relaxed after. I’m 60 and I can’t believe I listen to that type of music but it really gets my anger out that My sobriety brings on sometimes.
Started the day with prayer asking God to help me stay sober and protect my serenity and not do or say anything to disrupt it. Also got a cup of coffee and started listening to AA speakers on YouTube.
That’s beautiful. Sorry about the situation. But that is beautiful. Really great. That kind of happened to me and my wife but that was 30 years ago😱. My niece is going to be 40 and we are such close friends in such a special relationship.
There’s no age requirement for gangsta rap.
I agree. One cannot even put gas in their vehicle or go to the grocery store without having alcohol around. I understand that people may have triggers, but honestly if an alcoholic wants to stay sober, they are required to have the spiritual inspiration that causes them to not fall back into drinking regardless if alchohol or a photo of booze is around. If one does not have that ability, which I believe is rooted in the spiritual practice of sobriety, they will indeed relapse.
Thanks. I was looking for the words to describe it. Gangsta Rap. I’ll try and file that away in my near term memory so I can pull it out again when needed. I don’t listen to it all the time. But I’m amazed how fast and far I can walk with the gangster rap on. And how great I feel after.
All the curbside restaurant pick ups are offering beer and wine. And Chili’s is offering their Margarita pack to go. Booze is EVERYWHERE we got to be able to deal with it.
Absolutely, it helps me to realize I am allergic to alcohol, and I have a horrible life destroying reaction to it. I am allergic to poison ivy. Therefore, I don’t get tempted to take my shirt off and go jump into, even if I see it in real life or in a photo online.
Realizing that I have an allergy to booze is one of the most effective realizations that keeps me alcohol free. Just like I wouldn’t jump into a bed of poison Ivy, I also wouldn’t jump into a cup, glass, can or bottle of booze. This may sound like a simple approach to it, but most true things are simple if we don’t allow our ego or feelings to complicate it.
Thank you so much for sharing She is such a wonderful little girl and I feel such a strong responsibility to her. We are going through the court system to make it legal but I don’t selfishly want to keep her for myself. My hope is that her parents (or even just one) will rise to the occasion and get their lives together…She misses her father terribly (her mother has been mostly absent until very recently) but at the same time has stated her wish to live with us until she’s 44 In her little mind she thinks when her dad comes back he’ll be living here with all of us…it’s just such a tough situation for all parties involved. Do you mind if I asked how everything ended up with your niece? Did she stay with you until adulthood or did her parents get themselves together?
It’s so sad what’s happening to her. Your niece. I cannot believe you’re kinda in my boat from 30 years ago. It’s such a long story. I love to share. Maybe little pieces at a time. It wasn’t always easy. My niece’s parents were busted for selling heroin to a cop in Houston. Mom got jail time and get this? Dad got mandatory rehab. We did the elementary school thing and took care of her at her fun pre teen years.
Unfortunately we had to let her go back to her mom after jail time. Her Mom and dad got divorced. Her Mom continued her addictive ways. My wife and I had started a family and when my niece’s mom finally went to rehab we just couldn’t take her. I wish we did. Anyway (I’m going to call my niece S) S went to boarding school Mom stayed in rehab and dad I guess didn’t want her. We got S back when she was 13 and our kids weren’t babies anymore. And truthfully it was hell having a teenager while our own children were very young. It was the right thing to do but those teenage years were awful. S ran away. S did drugs. Etc. I was always so mad. It was terrible. I look back now and I totally understand. But we got through it. S hated her parents so much and S just wanted to be loved. We did the best we could.
Fast forward.
Mom was in and out of rehabs and abusive boyfriends. Dad got remarried and had another daughter . S is a hairstylist and was doing her own thing. Everyone was managing.
One day we found out my niece’s mom moved in with my niece. We both asked her why? I mean WTF!! My favorite thing in life was my niece’s response. After about 23 or 24 years my niece said she “ran out of Hate”.
But we have a wonderful relationship as hard as it was and all is well now. I’m glad we did what we did.
I guess I just summed it up in one note. Be happy to share more if I can help.
God Bless you.
For what it’s worth. Wifey was always the nice one and I was always the hard ass uncle. I say this in the most loving way but wifey gets all pissed off cuz it appears S is always coming to me for help or giving me praise from the past. Guess she needed a hard ass.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story we are in such a similar situation. I’m unsure of what the future has in store for us but we are going to do everything in our power to do what’s right by her. We are helping her work through her pain and giving it a voice because she internalizes everything. I’m sure we have a lot of hard times ahead of us but we are up for the task
And it’s amazing to hear that your niece has found some peace through it all. And I’m sure it has so much to do with you and your wife’s love and guidance
I prayed and checked in
Yoga and a salad!
That’s very admirable of you. I just always thought back then a child should have a roof over her head and food and a loving family. And a bed to call home. Even if it isn’t her home. Good luck. You are in my prayers and so is your niece. What a great way to be sober. Addiction sucks!! I just wish I knew what I know now back then. Teenage years suck even when it is your own children. They all grow up and come back to you. Do your best. Stick to your guns. And just love her.