Today I had to work really hard. It took a lot out of me and I’m feeling sleepy. I used skill after skill to keep the images out of my head. They’re very intrusive and disturbing. I feel like I need a little more help with them than using skills. Only beacause skills keep me from acting on them but the images and urges never actually stop. It sucks bc as positive as I make my thoughts and keep working towards my goals, I still somehow get caught up in obsessing bc the images of stabbings and severe self inflicted cuts are so bad that I feel driven to create them for real on my skin 
… It’s been really hard today. Discouraging and disappointing. I feel the need to share this bc it helps to get it off my chest as I don’t tell many ppl in my life what’s going on. I tell everyone Im doing OK…
Maybe meds would help? But which ones?
I learned to play a new song on the mandolin and banjo 
How are you doing today Elyse? I do hope that you were able to get your tasks accomplished today 
3 days is amazing friend. am sorry for the hard day(s). Keep sticking with it as it gets easier. WE are here for you - you are not in this alone 
I’m sorry love - i do hope that writing your thoughts here helped. Do think you need to talk to someone in real life (doctor / therapist) as they may be able to address ways to help you and what meds would be best.
Sending you love - think you are doing a wonderful job in pushing forward with a positive attitude
I’m seeing a therapist. She thinks I’m doing great despite these challenges. I agree with her but I think I need to reiterate that I think I need more help with this…
Glad to hear that you are working with a therapist Jules. Great that you can speak up for yourself and ask for more help in this area. Sending you love and hugs hope you have a wonderful Friday
Had a good long cry today.
I guess sometimes you just need to wash it all away.
I helped another which in turn really helped me, insight of not just our own but others struggles can help us heal one another.
I got up at 530am, exercised, did school drop-off, looked for work, did school pickup, helped my kids with homework, then the real challenge began… I cooked dinner. While I enjoy cooking dinner, it is the time when I crave or think about alcohol the most. That glass of wine (or bottle) while cooking used to be my highlight! To curb the craving, I did some guided breathing by Wim Hof which got me through while making me feel amazing and at peace. Happy days!
Worked, gave my Mom her dinner, showered, cleaned up the kitchen and loaded up the dishwasher, watched a little “Everybody Loves Raymond”, browsed on YouTube and now I’m here on TS with y’all! 
Today I celebrated 20 days alcohol free by eating some bakery food with my partner 
Celebrating the big and small wins keeps me motivated!
So far today… stressful and disappointing morning, so I am at a taqueria for breakfast. Yum!
Sorry about your morning love. Glad you had a yummy breakfast . I do hope the day turns around for you 
Thank you!!!
I got up with sunrise and exercised while listening to the birds. Let’s gooooo!
Hi everyone I stayed sober today despite no sleep last night. That’s usually a warning sign and a trigger. I worked really hard to get bills paid. Went grocery shopping and cooked a nutritious meal (finally). The struggle has been a little difficult for me lately. I went through a really awful phase last week. I’m having residual thoughts and feelings about it but managing nicely. I have these thoughts of sabotaging my own accomplishments like the part time job and the whale watch. Everytime I have something good coming for me I tend to try and ruin it before it even starts. It’s frustrating. I’ve been experiencing this awful experience lately. I will be with ppl or driving alone in my car and either friends and family notice that I’m not really in the room. Like I am physically but everything around me is blurry and it seems like I’m not in my body if that makes sense. It’s like I’m someone else watching me… It scares me. When I’m driving it happens way too often I can’t remember the drive. Like I end up somewhere and don’t know how I ended up there. Idk if these two things are connected. Seems like it bc theyre similar emotional disconnections. I’ve been Journaling a lot lately. I find that writing on a forum like this one really helps get my feelings out in understandable words.
Had the day off today, so mainly been running some errands…hung out at a coffee shop and caught up on some journaling, had a yummy chicken burrito for lunch just now. Gotta head home and check on Mom, then do a load or two of laundry and earn some “husband points”.
AA meeting in the morning, chores and gym/pool afternoon. Day 9. Feeling good.
Started day 1 of the alcohol experiment by this naked mind, listened to those podcasts and loving them so far
Worked
Got home and ate a good meal, now im drinking a grapefruit seltzer that im trying for the first time, added a splash of tart cherry juice. Might mix another concoction after i finish this one
Gonna shower and probably play some stardew valley