Sounds like he isn’t really grasping yet the extent of your burden with all the things you’re trying to do for yourself, your recovery, and your family, and that you have limits. I wonder if he has difficulty dealing with stress in general, possibly a tendency to rely on other people or things to “fix” his emotions. I had a roommate who felt the need to interrupt my work or relaxation whenever he was bored or upset (several times per day knocking on my door). Do you think he might understand better if you found another way to explain your needs, or is it just not getting through at all?
My parents, when raising me, refused to suggest anything other than chores when I complained I was bored. They wanted to teach me to solve that by myself from a young age. That there are always things to do, there are not always fun things to do, and you can make some not-fun things fun.
I think in the beginning he felt useful because I was in a very vulnerable place and I needed his support alot, now I’m getting better and doing things outside the house for support too, I don’t need as much support from him. I have ways to aliviate my boredom, when I make suggestions like going to the gym or coming back to kickboxing with me he isn’t on board with that, he doesn’t see his friends as much and can’t come and go as he pleases, which he pointed out to me that I could. Yes I could come and go but I don’t. Soon my supervision with my children will be reviewed and just hoping that they will see I’ve done enough to be with the kids on my own .
I know I’m not responsible for the way he is and I have told him that I can’t do anything about that it up to him, I’ve made suggestions even one that could make us some money, he could pick up furniture from freecycle and then up cycle the furniture and sell it, but he hasn’t done anything about that either. I wouldn’t Say I’m at my wits end yet because I refuse to have a drink but it’s definitely a trigger scenario that would have done it for me in the past. I was hoping to decrease my dose of antidepressants but I think with all this going on I’m better off staying as I am. Just feel like I’m floating in a void because I can’t do anything about my husbands mood and its having a knock on effect to mine
So I normally update my journal with a moan of some kind but this morning I took the time to think about the positive, it actually made me smile through the storm.
So this week I have been getting texts from my two older sisters praising me on my sobriety, saying that they are proud of me and I’m actually doing it , yesterday my friend admitted that she’s not been drinking for the same time that I’m sober that’s love right there, silently supporting me then telling me she’s got me, and this morning my doctor told me that she is proud of me too , all this support has come when I needed it, I am truly blessed to have this support from people around me and believe in me, even in the darkest storm a ray of light always shines through.
Looking for the positive instead of the negative
I LOVE this. Rarely I have times like this too, and they deserve celebration! Both the positivity and being able to see the positivity and embrace it
Just imagine… These people have had this admiration under the surface this whole time. They’re just the ones who have gotten up the guts to tell you about it! Imagine how many other people you are inspiring right now?! In real life and on TS.
So I had a phone call yesterday about meeting the team for enabling futures which was this morning, apprehensive and nervous I went. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, I met the team today and will be seeing them again next Wednesday too, from then on I’ll be doing SMART recovery in a group and on a Friday I’ll be doing another course in a group called survival skills.
Whilst in my meeting I received a call from the family support worker about doing a healthy relationship workshop on Tuesday which my husband has to do with me too .
CGL did mention that I would be ideal for being a recovery coach and they train people up every 6 weeks, on this occasion I declined and explained that I’m not ready as I still have a lot to learn but would reconsider next year. I have realised that I’m still holding back alot of my emotions today and I have to get myself in check and be far more knowledgeable if I’m to help others in recovery
I like coming here and hiding in my little cave of thoughts, quite comforting that I can write down my thoughts and just leave them here, maybe I’m still trying to lock them all away again by doing this, who knows, I’m still trying to figure that out myself…
So for the last week at least I have found that I’m getting more irritable than normal, at home, on here, in general. I’m sleeping more again and getting what can only be described as a second withdrawal despite being strict and not touched a drop of alcohol. My motivation to do daily stuff is there, but the eating Healthy and exercise has gone down the drain, really need to focus on putting good in my body, otherwise I’m just supporting a unhealthy brain…
Really need to go back to my CBT training and planning my week right
Going on 150 days and still cycling through phantom withdrawals. It’s all good just the mind and body going through everything trying to figure out it’s new normal.
Makes sense I suppose, I naively thought that when you get past the 30 days it would be easier, recovery is definitely no quick fix but I don’t regret sobriety one bit
Back again with the thoughts in my head, so I’m dreading SMART recovery next week, in my head I’m like “do I really need this, I’ve done this well without it” erm wrong!!! That’s just my brain being complacent and I know that’s a bad thing, I feel like I’m forcing myself to go, but not really wanting to go. To be honest it scares the hell out of me how much work I actually have to put in. I’ve worried that doing too much will cause me to relapse because of the intensity of the next few months are going to bring. I’ll break it down for you so you know what I’m talking about.
Monday 12.30-2.30 Webster Stratton parenting strategy course
Tuesday 12.30-2.30 healthy relationships workshop
Wednesday 9.30-11.30 enabling futures
Thursday 10-11.45 SMART recovery
Friday 2-4pm survival skills.
Then I have the children’s after school clubs, core group meetings, committee meetings and the usual day to day family and home stuff.
Can’t tell if I’m just making excuses because I’m anxious or if it will all genuinely be too overwhelming. I’m not going to say I got this because I definitely don’t. Reading recent posts from people who have far more days down than me, it’s evident that sobriety is a lifetime commitment, I know I’m thinking too far ahead Again and I should be thinking of just today, hard to not think ahead when I have alot going on as of next week.
You must not have anything planned for today to be cycling through tour week(sorry to say this) looking for an excuse to give in today. Don’t let yourself self-sabotage. Get outside, or organize your week even more, so you can relax, and know you got this.
Not even contemplating a drink, I should get my weekly planning down otherwise I’m just going to loose momentum in recovery. I’ve more than likely become a bit lazy and not putting in, just need others to give me a quick kick up the behind and a reality check from time to time
Just keeping up to date with my journey here, so I had mentioned my irritable mood, and it turns out that it may well be because I’m getting closer to my milestone but more likely that it just happened to also coinside with the monthly full moon when women turn into the wicked witch of the west …
I have started SMART recovery and some other courses too, still early days and all I can say is it is a bag of mixed emotions right now but I’m still good, 83 days strong…
I’ve gotten a good Friday routine going of family movie night, which I get excited for as we go all out with popcorn, sweets, cookies and fizzy pop. Well my husband tried to change that last night and I was not having any of it, this is my routine and it is keeping me sober, I’ve just got this and I really can not cope with the last minute change right now.
I’m still getting praise from my sisters which is doing wonders for how I feel about myself and I’m slowly getting back to being me, my sisters have always loved my quick wit and peculiar sense of humour, it’s nice to be able to bring them joy in that way .
Well it’s definitely been a reflective morning, after an emotional melt down over the weekend and crying a lot I got back on track and this morning after catching up with the new posts and unread posts, with things being pretty quiet and the kids still in bed, I read over my posts from when I relapsed and problems I was experiencing. When I looked back I am thankful for the support I had then and still do now from this site, I also noticed that there was half arsed excuses to why I couldn’t get sober back than. It was all excuses, my husband wants me to drink on our anniversary, my husband doesn’t want me to go to AA, I’m too busy with work to do any recovery. None of this matters now as it’s all up to me and I’m not letting anyone sabotage my recovery not even me. I’ve come farther than I thought I had. It’s Monday and I’m back to my meetings this week one a day Monday to Friday
, yesterday my friend admitted that she’s not been drinking for the same time that I’m sober 
in, just need others to give me a quick kick up the behind and a reality check from time to time
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