Yes i will have to show him changes, course words of getting better and Changeing has no power what so ever anymore
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Yes i will for sure end that at another time. Because right now i will have to deal with this. This one big thing destroying my life.
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I will definately need to change my strategy towards getting sober, since the one i have been using doesnt work. I Think i will try and se if i can have an online meeting, because getting out of my appartment right now is not possible…
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I’m so glad you came here when you were hurting and hopefully found some reassurance. And I’m so glad I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and randomly decided to check in here! Don’t forget you can post a new thread if no one responds to this one when you need some crisis response! Or even on the checking in daily thread where more people participate.
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An online meeting would be good as would buying the big book of AA to read (your can get it may order) and there are loads of recovery based podcasts and AA speaker tapes on YouTube. You don’t have to get hardcore in to going to AA but you need to actively work on your recovery every single day. Have a search around the forum for sober toolbox and see what other people have in theirs, it will give your some ideas for your own.
And none of what I’ve been saying was to criticise you,I just saw that you were really down in the dumps and I wanted to help you find your footing. You can and will do this and your relationship with your boyfriend will improve as he starts to notice the positive changes in you. That one will take time but it will happen. To quote @Yoda-Stevie himself you need to decide to do better and then get better at getting better every single day, better today than yesterday and tomorrow even better still. And your only need to avoid having one drink, the first drink because without taking that first drink then there will not be a second or a sixth or an eighth. We are all on this journey with you, cheering you on!! 
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Check this out!
And I hope you can get some rest. Hang in there.
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I can’t be that much of a help, but I send you flowers, cookies, sunshine, Hugh Jackman or whatever hunk is your type, a lot of love, hugs and I want you to know that you are not alone!
Yes im happy you did to. If i dont answer dont be concerned then i might have found enough peace to fall asleep.
Thanks dear. Writing with me is the only thing that helps atm. Cause of me feeling alone and anoxiuos. I have a hard time with not knowing the future and if i will ever be able to stay sober
You only need to stay sober today mate! Most of us cannot deal with the thought of staying clean or sober for the rest of our days, it is overwhelming. We can handle today though!
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Ohh guys i really dont know what to do with myself today. The time walks by so slow that it seems impossible for me to survive today. Im not sure i will get by this day alive. To be alone like this and with these seriously negative thoughts. The thoughts are making me so sick and im shaking like crazy. Cant eat or drink anything really and just feel like throwing up,but cant.
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Hang in there, we’re all feeling the squeeze.
I just colored my hair, lol… since no one will see me in case it comes out bad!
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Thanks Donna. Im really tired of myself and anything i do atm. Dont want this no more.
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Have you managed to do much today? I know that it’s hard to get out of the house at the moment but can you go in the garden and listen to some music or something or can you go for a little walk. I know that I can get bored really easily if I’m just sat doing the same thing. Plus your binge was yesterday so your going to be feeling down today, you will be much better tomorrow after a good night’s sleep.
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I havent managed anything today except to breathe. Im not comfortable going anywhere. Every time i try to do something i get sick and feel like throwing up. I know tomorrow will be better, but for me its just getting by every second really. Its horrible feeling like you need to learn how to crawl or walk again. I feel weak.
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It all sounds very familiar. Remember you will get through this. And do what you can to quiet your mind and comfort you body. Don’t forget this feeling, I always told myself “how could I forget this hell?” But we do forget and so easily slide back into it. Hang tight.
Yes our minds tend to forget. And i dont get why it does that. I have just written a letter to myself on how i feel right now and what to do next time the feeling for drinking comes
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Hello guys, just checking in at the end of day 1, really happy i got through, didnt thought i would. Im still anxious and affraid for what i will feel like tomorrow.
Goodnight and thanks for your support during this hard and rough day
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