I like it actually. When I’ve cut down before, I’ve made it almost a mission to find the best non alcohol beer. I like the Hoegaarden 0.0 and Clausthaler. NA Grolsch is pretty good too.
6 days, $50
So happy to hear you made it! 
So right now we are on 20 days and 250 bucks! 
Would you like to share your numbers too?
I think it would be fun to check our totals on a regular basis, anyone?
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hey you guys. I had a terrible melt down last night, all night and hurt myself very badly. I do just not know how I will ever get through this phase of my life. there is nothing in me that beleives and i think it takes only little for i do so serious harm. it was never never never in my life so hard emotionally. I have been alone for to long, years already of fighting. and now it feels it is to late i have nothing left but hate to want to hurt myself.
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I’m struggling. Craving hard. Tons of anxiety. Ignoring texts and phone calls from the guy I’m seeing. I know if I go out with him, I’ll drink. He revolves around alcohol. I haven’t seen him for a week. I binged really hard with him for two days last week. Sigh… I’m going to sleep soon. Ready for a new day.
How about you? What time is it? 
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Oh Maria I feel so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. Is there any way we can support you?
@Sunsw686
It’s 7.32 am. Talk to us!
If I may say so, this relationship seems literally toxic.
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Yes, it is toxic. I need to have a conversation with him. I was all ready to sit down with him last month but he lost his job with zero notice and I chickened out because I didn’t want to ad any stress.
I realy do not know… i realy dont. this anger and totally destructive part of me I never saw like this. did not have a minute sleep and have brushes all over my body. it definitely had to do with mybirthday and therefor family I guess.
6 days / 16.60 euro
Yes did my squats too 
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I do hope you can help me through.
When was your birthday Maria, happy belated birthday for then. If it’s any consolation the longer we are sober from any doc even if that’s good or self harm and once we start to like ourselves then we start to attract decent people towards us, not necessarily for relationships but for friendships also. Just hang in there and I promise things will improve. 
We are here for you!
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So that would make a total (without @SoulSearcher) of 26 days and 266,60 bucks!
Way to go ladies! 
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thank you. it was yesterday. And frankly… a reminder that I am getting to old for this shit. … beating myself up with an iron stick because of the repeating voice in my head that I am worthless. (i come from a not very loving family and relationship) Until i got sick I have always had a succesfull carreer, and doing voluntaire work with kids on a farm, teaching yoga, doing massages and reiki, training horses and dogs for people. Always being of service… als this loving shit. and people aknowledge me for that so I had friends. but now since a few years i guess i am coming to the point due to chronic ilness that my body is forcing me to deal with all the stuff I never show. and it starts getting voilent again just like when I was a teenager. No phony holy anymore or spiritual bypassing. I have to deal with it or it deals with me, and it will kill me. Guess that is why all of a sudden I am getting troubles with alcohol (my dad is an alcoholic and 8 of his siblins already died of alcohol) And I am loosing all my friends over it. once they see what damage my past has caused me, they are off and I do not blame them. There is no more the facade now of the succesfull and pretty woman so to uncomfortable. For the first time in my life I have no plan whatsoever. it is comming out and i do not yet know a safe way, so I can only try and stay clean so I do not harm myself beyond the boundries of sobriety. Thank you for listening!!! I realy do not know where to go with this but, it is here, and it is not leaving anymore.@Marisim
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I’m sure that the children you volunteer with on the farm and the people for whom you train animals don’t see you as worthless and as for people who are put off by things that have happened in the past are not worthy of your time anyway.
Do you see a therapist at all? I know we have touched on the topic of AA before and you have said that you don’t want to go for reasons of your own but if you were to go I can guarantee that you would make some terrific, lifelong friends there, people who would be worthy of your time and appreciate your for the kind, thoughtful, and caring person that you are. You are worthy.
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Oh my sweet Maria, I can’t imagine…
Have you considered specific trauma therapy?
There’s a method called EMDR. It literally saved my life. And within only a few sessions I achieved more than in two years just talking!