Hello dear ladies 
Ohh dear @Maria i feel for you. but hang in there, you can do this. And we are right here for supporting you all that we can. I hope that you can get some help and that your new doctor will do something for you
How are you guys holding up
I have done my squats today so on third day 
i feel a bit better today, but im dealing with alot of guilt and shame of all the things done under influence and all the money thats been using on that doc.
@AnonymousD
Yes, some things I did are haunting me, guilt and shame are recurring feelings, but I hope those feelings are helping me to stay on the right track.
I haven’t had any cravings today, I guess I’m distracted because of my date, which starts in about 2,5 hours. I’m nervous, but not in a good way, I’m literally sweating! But I can’t cancel it again.
Plus, I told you about the two pounds I’ve lost. Well, guess what, they’re back. And they brought a friend. My belly is huge today… Which doesn’t contribute to my well being
I’m getting ready in an hour. Geeez
Ugh, I really don’t like that feeling, I’ve felt so bloated and my appetite is through the roof! But take some deep breaths and maybe focus on how this person is genuinely interested in YOU! Take that compliment without judgment or diving too deep into negative self-talk. It’s good to be appreciated. I am a chronic over analyzer and am learning how to check my thoughts. I hope it goes well and you enjoy it, and overall congrats on no cravings! That’s wonderful, even just in the moment.
Heavy stuff, Maria. You have some amazing strength to have come through all that struggle. I’m super impressed that you have accessed the treatments and services available to you - that is no easy feat and something I have a hard time doing. You’re inspiring to me.
You can do the date ! Take it in your own tempo dear and remind yourself that you are worthy and just focus on having a good time love
Feeling pretty good on this sunny morning. Had a hard time falling asleep (as usual) but I did end up getting about 4 hours. I woke up with a start in the middle of a disturbing dream (which I’ve been having a lot of) but instantly had a feeling of calm. Got up, did my new morning routine, made a healthy smoothie and got a corned beef and veggies prepped for the slow cooker. I’m really looking forward to a healthy, sober weekend. I’m also not under any illusions and am preparing myself for the inevitable cravings, negative self-talk, and down moods that are to be expected.
Hang in there! We can do this.
@RosaCanDo Yes we can!! We can make it. Your morning sound great! As for the sleep, try melatonin. I’m taking 10 mg right now and it’s helping me to fall asleep and go back to sleep quickly when waking in the night. When I was drinking a lot, my sleep was crap. I would fall asleep but wake up after a couple hours and then lie there awake till morning. Try to do what you can start getting good sleep.
I’m actually afraid that this could be such a huge trigger for me, given my past, I might fail day 8 which officially ends in 15 minutes
you already know each other and you like each other. enough to cancel and reshedule and enough to worrie 
It will be ok. just breath and be your charming you. there does not have to be a goal or acomplishment. hope I am not to late, but have a great evening. you deserve after a life changing hard working week!
What would the trigger be in this? Maybe forward the story so you are prepared if such
It’s important to try and be kind to yourself no matter what happens. We are all working together toward a goal and we aren’t judging each other, maybe we can work on not judging ourselves. Tall order, I know. Hang in there and do what you need to be safe.
Positive vibes here with you! Good!!!
Thank you! Sweet. It started again just now. Could focus my train of thoughts now a bit. I am just always under to much pressure having to fix things with my house, my health and worrying for future and then I get angry for all the people te let me down, which triggers my childhood trauma of abuse and neglect. I had to do everything on my own. and that anger is so overwhelming and destructive because the fear of being all alone underneath it is unbearable. and when young and healthy I could cover up those feelings, but now I cant. And nobody has a perfect life, we should al agree here But when I look around there are not many woman that have all the responsibilities and no help what so-ever. people tell me I should do more of what makes me happy because of my health uncertainty and that I should trust help will come along… but it does not, even when I ask. I would never think of let anyone struggling like this when I had the opportunity to just give a practical hand… and there goes the anger… and the fuck it… and we know where that leads to.
Thanks for your support. I’m on the subway now, so I’m not able to get into detail about my insanity .
Last time he said, he thought I was gonna bring my dog.
I left her home on purpose.
This time I told him I would bring my dog.
And he just texted “So you are introducing me to a part of your family lol” Jesus!!!
Today’s a bad hair day, I tried to fix it, but I look like one of the Bee Gees 
If you’re not feeling it you can always break out into “Staying Alive”, lol! 
Hey you all, made it another day. Exhausted after last night so of to bed in little while. You all have a great rest of your day!
Night maria. You did very well