The dentist is one of my least favorite encounters but I share a similar sentiment to yours- I went to the dentist for one of my annual cleanings in April after using pretty heavily through out the year and was surprised I had no decay when I was sure there would be! Anyway, your procedure will go well today and you’re in great hands! As always thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights, they are very helpful and instrumental for me in my sobriety. One day at a time 
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@Shel75 @CanadianGirl @DogLoverForever77
Thank you for the encouragement and positive words. That means a lot. It’s never worse than what I make it out in my head from what I remember from other experiences. But still pretty nervous but I have no choice but to go. About to leave in an hour. I decided to walk so that I can get my head right before I get there ..if I take the bus I’ll get there to quick lol. I’ll probably have a small window when I get done where it won’t hurt because of whatever they’re injecting my mouth with and that’s when I’ll get laundry done and probably order some groceries that are easy to eat on Instacart like smoothie stuff and protein drinks. Luckily I don’t have to work tomorrow because of probation. Like I have been taught on here and through my program instead of looking at the negative I will look at the positive that at least I have the finances to take care of this and I am sober so I’m thinking in the right frame of mind
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491
Some quotes I like by Mark Twain
“Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.”
“There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have Accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.”
“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
“Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a college education.”
“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”
“My books are like water;Those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) Everybody drinks water.”
“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
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Good stuff and still relevant for today…
We are almost at 500.. I just cant sit still and want to shout it to everybody.. Have a great day!
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It really is amazing. Seems like yesterday I was at day one sitting in jail terrified for my future. I remember those first couple days saying a bunch of prayers and the message I received was that I have to put the work in. It’s OK to ask for help or guidance but it’s up to me to put the work in. Very grateful to share a sobriety date with you
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Thank you for sharing, I hope to be this successful and full of hope one day.
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Welcome to the community! This is a really wonderful place with a lot of great people from all walks of life. There is help for pretty much any kind of addiction on here. Don’t be afraid to reach out whether it’s good or bad. And because of so many people from all over the world and different time zones this place is pretty much 24 seven and there is always somebody to talk to you or find help. Not sure where you’re at in your recovery but regardless just take things one day at a time. Do the best you can for today and things will continue to improve and get better. Speaking for myself even on my most difficult days or if I feel like I’m struggling because of a situation I realize there’s always something to be grateful for. Even if it’s something simple like having shelter and food in the fridge. Even at 16 months or so my addiction brain Occasionally wants to tell me that maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal and maybe I’m making a big deal out of this but that’s just my addiction trying to bring me back.. I have to continue to be realistic about what a drug or drink will do to my life if I go back to old ways. I will put the drink and drug before everything and I will lose everything that’s important to me. That’s just the facts. I have to be reminded on a daily basis why I’m choosing sobriety. Sobriety is definitely better. There’s no doubt about that. In sobriety there is options, there is hope and possibility. Stay sober one day at a time and give yourself a chance to have a good life.
Once again I want to say welcome to the community and glad you’re here!
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497
Spent the last hour reading through a few of my recovery related journals from the last year and a half or so. I find it interesting that the majority of my entries are in the morning. I don’t know what that means I just know the majority of them have the morning time at the top. I took a picture of a couple Entries from the winter time. You probably can’t read my handwriting which maybe is a good thing…
PS: I really love my desk. Before this apartment I don’t remember ever having a desk. This desk is responsible for a majority of my sanity. Whether it’s writing or journaling, reading, doodling, pondering , Talking to my higher power or making phone calls.. I spend a decent amount of my time at this desk. And for the rest of my life wherever I go I will make sure that I have a desk like this. This desk came with the apartment.. So I’m not sure if I can take it when I leave!! I hope whoever comes next over to this apartment from the main sober living house appreciates this desk as much as I have…
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Love the desk. My workspace is a table and always full of work. 4 more days my friend and we get to be in the 500 day club.
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That’s good is full of work! I’m pretty excited and proud about 500. It’s actually pretty unreal. But very real at the same time. This has been the easiest chapter of my life to be honest. I’m not saying I haven’t had bad moments or bad parts of my day but I honestly haven’t had a single bad day. I have not had 24 hours straight of craziness or problems. Just moments or parts of my day and even that is Rarely and I have a new ways to deal with these issues whatever they are if they happen. I talked to my sponsor about this and it has to do with surrendering and continuing to follow suggestions. And even with everything I said I’m not working a perfect program and I probably never will be doing that. But I’m continuing to put action towards my recovery on a daily basis. Very grateful for you and glad we share a sobriety date. The only way is Forward
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509
7/19/25
It’s definitely been an interesting last couple weeks. After about almost 2 months debating and thinking about it I fired my sponsor about five or six days ago. In the beginning I really did feel like he wanted to help and that he was doing the deal and he was a good person but as time went on I realized otherwise. It’s extremely bizarre and I don’t have time to get into all of the full details or write everything because I would be here all day. But basically I don’t think he wanted me to be successful or doing good. As I grew even stronger in my recovery and even more involved with my program it’s almost like that became a threat to him. I don’t think he went to any meetings. I don’t think he actually addressed his problems from the past. But even with everything I said and I’m about to say I still learned from him. In the beginning it’s almost like I wanted a sponsor so bad that worked that I was looking past a lot of things that I shouldn’t have. After time went on being in his company was very exhausting mentally and very uncomfortable and not in a good way. He was constantly talking down about other people in the program while at the same time building himself up and making himself seem like a really great person. There was a lot of flip-flopping in the way he talked. He would do things like ask me when I can meet up and I would tell him a certain time And he would show up two or three hours earlier than what we agreed on And have a lot of weird things to say about it. There was a lot of similar things That happened like that. All the while I’m thinking maybe I’m making this up in my head And maybe I’m being too hard on this person but then every time we had an interaction or I was in his company my gut and my heart was telling me to get as far away from him as possible. This is probably the most bizarre and emotionally draining relationship I’ve ever had in the rooms of AA as far as the sponsor Sponsee.. I think the strange mind games and guilt tripping and other weird things became even more intense probably when he realized I was starting to distance myself from him and probably was planning on finding somebody else and I think he could sense that. Or that I was catching on to his bullshit. Just talking about this makes me feel mixed up and very frustrated because I have so much to say about it. I finally got up the nerve to fire him about five days ago and I made it very professional and I did not say any specifics about his disturbing character even though I wanted to. I just thanked him for what he taught me and for his time and that I was going to be working with somebody else as far as a sponsor. * He said that I guess I’m giving up on Recovery. He said that I’m not in for the fight of my life. He said a lot of things that somebody who is stable and working a program would never say. The way he handled me firing him was exactly how I thought it was going to go and what’s frustrating is that when I asked for advice on how to deal with the bullshit he was going to say to me or how it was going to mix me up It feels like the people I talked to Did not understand what I was really saying and I knew there was going to be manipulation and making me feel guilty When I fired him. But then again I guess I can’t be upset that most people don’t know how to deal with somebody like that or what to do in the aftermath. When I fired him even though I did it the right way he reacted and said a bunch of crazy hurtful things. This is a person that should not be sponsoring anybody. For so many reasons. I have a bunch of things written down that he has said to me that were very weird or bizarre and like I said especially the last month or so when I really noticed who he really is. That’s not a normal thing to be having to write down the stuff your sponsor says to make sure you’re sane. I also wrote a letter about why I fired my sponsor in case my probation wants to know. What’s also bizarre is that he has texted me a couple times in the morning since I fired him telling me to have a great day or he hopes I have a good day or whatever.. In the eight months that he sponsored me or whatever it was he has never texted me in the morning wishing that I have a good day. So why is he doing that now? It’s probably some kind of Emotional fishing attempt Or something. Or he’s trying to get me to second-guess myself. The first time he texted me after I fired him I went across the street to the main sober living house and told the manager and the manager told me to not text back or respond to him at all because possibly he’s trying to get me to react in the wrong way. I went across the street to talk to the manager because this sponsor or ex sponsor is affiliated with this sober house. This is not a simple case of just not getting along with a sponsor and it’s definitely not about not doing the work. I told the manager across the street that the no contact is to protect my mental health and my emotional well-being. In a sense I feel like I am free and can kind of Breathe again but at the same time I feel like this is not over. I’m trying to realize there is toxic people everywhere not just AA And I’m trying to not let this one person ruin my view of AA or sponsorship. Even though I can’t imagine having to tell somebody again about all of my personal things. The trust is gone. I feel like an idiot for trusting somebody and not being able to see the truth in the beginning and I really didn’t see what was going on until the last couple months. I shouldn’t have to write down things my sponsor says because they seem off or weird. I shouldn’t have to think about recording conversations so I have proof when he flip-flops things. I shouldn’t have to write letters on why I fired my sponsor. I shouldn’t have to even be thinking about no contact with a ex sponsor. I shouldn’t be startled every time somebody knocks on my door thinking it’s him!!!
I don’t know. I’m glad I have this thread and I can definitely say what I want on this thread more than anywhere else probably. I can speak more openly here.
Still I’m very grateful for my life right now. I have a very normal routine. I’m getting back into old hobbies I haven’t done in years like gardening and skateboarding. I’m doing a lot of writing and recording music. I recently quit vaping. My relationship with my friends and family is great. I Feel peace and contentment. I’m completing short term goals and staying focused so that my long-term goals can be completed as well. I’ll be starting college classes here in a couple months and I’m working towards a bachelors in finance. I’m in the homestretch of probation. I’ll probably be going to court in October or November to be done with this. I am moving back to my parents guest house when that happens. My life is nothing like it was 509 days ago! I’ve definitely had some ups and downs and definitely had some toxic people in my life but I’m also very trusting and have a very open heart or open way about me which sometimes can be not a good thing. I have so much joy and love inside of me that sometimes I feel like people that are bad can tell. Or maybe my joy and kindness is used against me. It’s going to take time for me to learn who is really caring about my well-being and success and who is not. Trust is not easy.
As of right now in this moment at 6:04 PM on Saturday night I have everything I need and more. And this sponsor after math bullshit I’m dealing with Will pass just like all bad things do..
To whoever reads this thank you. Even if you don’t read thank you!!
The only way is forward. One day at a time
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Good on you, Trevor. You handled this with grace and dignity. Your instincts to check with someone else on the follow up text were spot on.
And now you have more information on how to be a good sponsor when your time comes!
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7/26/25
516
“ Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; But make it hot by striking.”
William Butler Yeats
Drugs and alcohol really did mess my brain and thinking and gave me a false sense of what my day-to-day life is supposed to be like. That everything is supposed to feel perfect and great for me to accomplish or get anything done.. Or to be motivated. That I have to be comfortable to succeed. Everything has to be perfect and everything has to be in order exactly the way I want it or I can’t get it done. For the longest time my feelings determined my outcome. Before anything even really got started my outcome was determined because of how I felt.
The most important thing I can do for my Recovery on a daily basis is to step out of my comfort zone. To stay busy and keep moving! Honestly I have to ignore my feelings… Because most of the time my feelings are trying to trap me and get me alone in a dark room where I over think everything and have a pity party in my head. Most of the time my feelings are trying to make me comfortable because comfortable is easy. I don’t like easy anymore…
If I sit around and wait for the perfect moment or for everything to be perfect and in line then I’ll be sitting around losing daylight and wasting time. If I get up and get started and ignore my feelings then pretty quickly I become motivated and I feel the momentum to continue..
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WOW!!! I swear u were reading my mind with this post haha This is exactly where Im at. Wanting to be perfect (which is unrealistic) and my black and white thinking, needs to stop bcuz its actually hindering me from growing.
I like how u wrote about ur feelings and how they try to make u feel comfortable. I think im going to try and ignore my feelings also and just start moving. Ive been struggling lately (for like 3 weeks) with all of this. I have so much planned for myself each day but then end up laying around instead. Im constantly tired. Mentally im not in a good place, full of guilt. And i know ALL of this could be resolved if i just got up and did something and put aside my feelings. Its a cycle.
Anyway, im glad u wrote on this topic. It helped me alot! Thanks!
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Glad this post resonated with you and helped put things into perspective. That’s what Recovery is about is recovering. We all have periods in our recovery where we feel stuck.. But that’s when we have to take baby steps so to speak and maybe you can make small little goals. You said you have a lot planned but maybe you can break that down into small little goals or steps to help with those plans. Honestly whenever I have a bunch of things I have to do I try to start with the most difficult thing first and then work my way through the rest. Little by little you can chip away at your plans and goals. Speaking for myself I spent so many years trying to be comfortable and I wanted to feel comfortable and great all the time and now I realize that is a horrible way to live and gets you absolutely nowhere in life. Being uncomfortable is what produces results. This is kind of random but actually related….I always think about this Seinfeld episode where George starts doing the opposite of what he normally does and his life actually gets better. I feel like I have to do the opposite to stay sober and achieve my goals. I definitely don’t have it all figured out but I’m really trying to push myself and learn who I really am. I want to make sense of everything.
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I have seen you work so hard and progress so much. You are a continuing work in progress!
Not only have you helped yourself, you have helped so many others just by being yourself and talking about what you have gone through and what you’re going through.
You have my greatest admiration and support!
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7/30/25
519
*Taking a break from the internet and smart phone
I’ve decided I need to take a break from Talking Sober for a couple months also the Internet in general. I’ve learned from last experience of needing time away that I don’t need to delete my account to do that.. I’ve made a few changes to my recovery program and Would like more time to focus on that and some of my obligations/ hobbies in real life. Last time I took a break from my phone I learned a lot about myself and honestly my stress and anxiety was lowered tremendously. Going to switch my Sim card into a phone that will only have a bus app, bank app, And Amazon music. Other than that I will have no access to Internet or Media, or talking sober. My goal is 90 days but we’ll see. I’ve made a list of things that I would like to accomplish in real life during this time and some hobbies that I want to put more time towards. I’m not going to graduate my recovery process in 90 days or will I be a master gardener or recording engineer but I will be just a little bit better at these hobbies and have more days under my belt of sobriety time. The most amazing thing is that in the past I knew that I was going to relapse.. I knew that I was going to go back to drugs or alcohol eventually. I’ve never in my life said that I’m never going to do something ever again. But that’s how I feel right now. I will never pick up a drink or drug. Mainly because I don’t have to anymore. I don’t want or have to. Also because I accept that if I pick up a drink or drug it will become a every day thing right away, I will lose a bunch of weight, I will lose my job, I will sell all of my belongings, I will end up homeless because drugs and alcohol will be more important than rent and shelter and eventually I will resort to crime to pay for my habits. That is why I’m not going to drink or do drugs and why I can’t. I am not working a recovery program because of relapse prevention.. I’m working a recovery program and working at my Recovery so my day to day life is easier. Figured I owed it to the community to post this that way people are not showing up on the missed page looking for me.. Very grateful for this place. I’ll be back soon enough…..
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You’ll be missed Trevor! Thank you for letting us know. Wishing you the best on this next phase of your journey and looking forward to your return when you’re ready. Take care, friend! 
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Take care of yourself Trevor. You know where we all are if you need us.
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Thank you guys so much. I’ll still have Internet and periodically be on here the rest of today but 7/31 going forward Starts my internet and smart phone break. I think for the rest of my life I probably will take a quarter out of every year to do this. When I took that break a while back it was seriously refreshing and really good for my mental health. The first time I did this I phone and Internet break a while back I tried to do a flip phone but I’m not going to lie that’s pretty impossible mostly because there is apps that I do need. So now when I want to do this Internet break I have a dumbed down smart phone.. It’s seriously like one step up from the flip phone and I just have necessary apps for banking, music, and the city bus. Of course I could download an Internet browser so at the end of the day I really do have to want to do this. I’ve learned that I can get away from the modern world a little bit but not 100% completely. Looking forward to reading more books and being outside even more than I already am. Plus just sitting with my thoughts and being OK with it. That’s one thing I remember from the last time I took a break. I definitely know I can login and check in with you guys if I’m dealing with a stressful situation or something and I can’t get a hold of anybody in my net work Or if my friends are at work or something. I also have the library which is a five minute walk. Thanks again
Ps: iPhone withdrawal is a serious thing. I’m not trying to be funny but if anybody ever does this trust me you’re going to reach for that phone thousand times the first couple days .. Like reaching for something that you don’t even have. Plus feeling like you’re missing out but you’re not. it definitely takes some getting used to but it’s worth the effort and adjustments.
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