I hear you Jenn. It’s been tough See if you cab find some local meetings that are operating. AA (www.AA.org is one option; there are others as well: Resources for our recovery
I’m sure you’ll find what you need. Search, search, search, keep looking, never stop trying - you will find what you need.
You’re a good person who’s gotten lost. It happened by accident and you didn’t intend for this to happen. You’re not alone: this problem has happened to many thousands of people before you. It doesn’t make you a bad person, or a failure. It makes you a person who’s a little lost and is looking to find her way home.
You will find your way home Jenn. Never give up and never stop searching. You’ll find what you need
Today I was suppose to go to a group fitness class to try and meet some people but before I left the house I checked their Facebook page and the class was cancelled. I did a virtual workout and hung with the hubs and then took a nap. Overall it was a ok day. Back to 3 days no drinking so that’s good.
This past weekend was a blur of sleep. I’ve been working so much I didn’t know what to do with 2 days off lol I did get some cleaning and cooking done but that’s it. Today I was back to work (remotely) and got a 3.5 mile run in then made dinner and picked up. I actually prefer days that I work. It’s like when I’m off work I have no motivation to do anything. Hope everyone is well
Hello there, I can relate to feeling like a roller coaster, which is why I chose to declare “stop the ride!” I wanted off. As much as my husband- who is truly my favorite person in the world- pleaded with me to stop drinking so much, I’d say yes, I’m sorry, I will! Why couldn’t I just do it for him? Because it doesn’t work that way. I believe something has to click. Keep focusing on the things and people that make your life worth living. And find more of that.
My why is multi faceted because yes I am quitting for myself and for my health but I’m also quitting to save my marriage. He has asked before and I have said no. He has pleaded and asked if I love booze more than him. I’m not sure what changed but he finally convinced me to quit but I’m not just doing it for him. He was just the first step.
Today was a good day. The hubs replaced some
Blinds I’ve been wanting since we got our house and they look so good. I appreciate when he gets his hunny dos done lol I worked a double so no time for anything else which is fine by me cause I didn’t have anything else to do.
I need an opinion of sorts. I know there are plenty of ways to approach issues. I’m looking for a different one. Issue: husband does not pick up after himself. Scenario: I pick up, do dishes and so forth. Go to bed and wake up to snack packages and soda cans and dirty dishes. You get the point.
I have already talked to the hubs and told him how it makes me feel when he does this. He works long shifts (12-16hrs) and I’m not asking him to clean. I’m only asking for him to pick up after himself. I just am not sure how to communicate “be an adult and pick up your shit. I’m not your maid”
Today was a pretty good day. Was able to go the group fitness class today and met some ladies. I still haven’t found an in person AA meeting but I might just need to do some zoom meetings. I’m rounding out day 7. So that’s nice. I also did a few things at the house. Days off from work I get so bleh. Watched Tower Heist and it was a pretty good movie
Oh no! Trouble at home Seriously though I can imagine how annoying that must be. It’s this little thing, every day, and it grinds away.
I decided to marry someone who is a bit of a pack rat (not terrible but also not always cleaning) and so we kind of fit into each other’s imperfections
This type of thing is so common though in relationships. It’s weird because it’s things that are in the big picture so minor. Like earlier today I was trying to work and I was so irritated at the noises my wife makes while she eats. It sounds silly but it was all I could hear while I was trying to get things done, and I just wanted to turn around and say, didn’t anyone teach you table manners?
At the same time though there are so many things she contributes at home too. Ultimately I look at it in that perspective: I married the whole person.
I’m not sure if this is helpful or not. Sorry about that I wish I had a process or something that could help. I hope it helps anyway just to know that you’re not alone
Yes the noise thing. I have started shutting my office door because he will have the tv going and watching stuff on his phone and I can’t even concentrate. He has been on his 7 days off (he has a rotating schedule) so I guess it has been wearing on me more. The house stays clean when he works lol. Yes, it does help to know I’m not alone. And I suppose it is an inconvenience but in the bigger picture it shouldn’t be a huge deal.
Yes I’ve read it and I have tried to get him to read it but it’s a hard no. I’ve explained the premise and he said he gets it but I’ve told him this is a whole different area that we need to work on. He is a gift person. He loves me by paying all the house bills. And I have even made the statement that I know that is how you show your love but this is what I need. I need physical touch/quality time. I talked to the therapist about this last week. She did not have much to say on the topic.
Hmmm that’s disappointing. One of the things I liked in that book was the story of the person who spoke their spouse’s language without asking for anything, and persisted week after week, consistently. And then gradually, week by week, the (receiving) spouse eventually started saying, what are you up to? And gradually they started reciprocating, without realizing why they were doing it. It was such a beautiful story
Today was a pretty decent day. I worked extra which I don’t mind especially since I’m already at home. Lol nothing else to do. The hubs finally got his top set of dentures (short story, he’s 32 but never took care of his teeth) I tried the positive thought direction or whatever it’s called and it really helped my mind set today. Each thing that normally would erk me I tried to turn positive or tried to see it from the other view. I feel exhausted lol I’m waiting for a book that I saw on here and it’s suppose to get here tomorrow! Called your a badass or something like that.
See if you cab find some local meetings that are operating. AA (www.AA.org is one option; there are others as well:
Glad you made it through sober Jenn. That’s something. That’s a good something 
Seriously though I can imagine how annoying that must be. It’s this little thing, every day, and it grinds away.
I wish I had a process or something that could help. I hope it helps anyway just to know that you’re not alone 
One of the things I liked in that book was the story of the person who spoke their spouse’s language without asking for anything, and persisted week after week, consistently. And then gradually, week by week, the (receiving) spouse eventually started saying, what are you up to? And gradually they started reciprocating, without realizing why they were doing it. It was such a beautiful story