When in crisis an addict has the tendency to blame everybody else but themselves. Any criticism or well ment advice might be directed to the bin right away. And the messenger…gets the looks. If you come to this forum you have acknowledged that you have a problem with addiction. I searched the internet for about two years (maybe way longer) before going to my first rehab. It took me another 3 and 10 years to come to this point.
Why so long? Maybe I’m just a stubborn pain in the ass. And did I really have a problem? Anybody thought I was fine. Knowing myself I had a problem should have been enough for me. In the beginning no one believed me, my family: just drink socially, my doctor: just start drinking after 8 pm, my colleagues: never noticed anything (when I explained something on paper I put enough pressure on my pen do the tremors weren’t noticeable), my mother: she felt and new it but powerless, a therapist at first appointment at 9 am after a binge night: you don’t look like a drunk. An ex: I don’t mind if you drink like this (was moderating a bit, but you might know where that let to).
Really? Never feeling heard or listened to is one of my underlying feelings. Leaded to very dangerous behavior, because on some appointments for help I took care that there was no doubt I had a problem. Showing up with bac percentages that should have put me into a coma…
In short 
: if you think you have a problem it’s your responsibility to deal with it. You own that in the first place to yourself. Of course you don’t have to do it all by yourself. For me it was a long process so far, for me I needed the therapists that cut through my bullshit of my addicted mind. You can find this type of advice here as well, but it may not be received good while in early sobriety. Only after this type of therapists I realized there is never an excuse to pick up the first one again.
Things I did’t like to hear but are so truth:
- you have to put the work in it. What are you doing to stay sober? Me: euh don’t all the other people need to change
. Just not drinking won’t cut it. Underlying issues need to be addressed otherwise you’re just a dry drunk. Nothing changes if nothing changes. - relaps is part of the addiction and not recovery. Thinking otherwise gives you the easiest excuse to have that first drink over and over again. Why do you think they don’t provide behavioral and other therapies to people in active use?
- Everything you put in front of your recovery you’ll loose eventually. Rebuild my life about give or take five times. This became so truth for me each time I gave priority to something else e.g. relationships, work….
- an addiction is insane behavior. Me insane? Who the f*ck do you think you are? When this clicked it was as a real eye-opener. Doing it over and over again while I knew the outcome is just insane behavior. Continuing would have brought me to jail, an institution or to the graveyard.
- Only one thing needs to change and that’s everything. This is not done overnight and doesn’t have to be. Progress not perfection
And yeah, if you want to detox from severe alcohol addiction, please go to get medical support like detox, rehab or emergency room. It’s nearly impossible to get past 3-5 days cold turkey and might be dangerous seizure wise or lethal.
Please feel free to add.
