Threw away 23 days. Gonna start again. Drinking definitely wasn’t worth it.It is hard but I will admit I was enjoying my new changes. I feel pretty bad about relapsing but I need to keep trying. And no moderation shouldn’t be an option. I don’t know why I keep telling myself it can be an option. Ugh
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Super glad you are back! We are here to support you!
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Welcome back Bubsy.
Advice for new comers and constant relapsers
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Hey, start again,
Dont beat yourself up over it, you cant change it now.
But you can start again and just dont look back , you know you can do it.
Sitting and dwelling on this situation will just hold you in the same place and negative mindset.
Learn from this experience and take something positive out of it.
Maybe add some thing new to your journey that you hadnt before, maybe AA, maybe a programme?
Next time you feel like picking up a drink try to post here how your feeling and reach out, after you may feel better just telling us or someone and may change your mind.
I beleive in you 
This is the code for the 24 hour AA zoom meeting,
You can join with your audio and camera off, try it out, listen to others who are going through what you are, it really can be powerful in helping you to feel ready to start your journey again x
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You cant lose nothing by trying out the meeting but you may gain so much.
Keep posting we are all here for you and i cant speak for everyone but most of us have been where you are now and some still are.
Hope you start feeling better and thinking of you.
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Thank you for this. This really helps.
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Your always welcome.
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Welcome back! I’ve fallen for the illusion that I can drink in moderation a hundred times. But I drink and the illusion vanishes into a horrible drunken reality. You can get past this and you’re in the right place to get help to do that.
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My mind is an evil beast. Like how do you turn off that stupid voice that try’s to find any reason to drink. I need to be better at telling my mind no. And not to listen to it. I was feeling great and happy I wasn’t drinking. The last few days were rough because my demon kept knocking at the door and I answered !!! I shouldn’t have.
I think its great that you want to keep going with your journey, instead of thinking because of one slip up you have ruined everything, and give up totally.
You havent given up your battle, you made a mistake and you recognise that, thats what is important.
Im glad you are here and that you have chosen to try to keep going.
Xx
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Thanks I’ve tried to stay sober in the past and have attended AA meetings etc. years ago. I fell off the wagon and gave up and felt defeated. I need to keep trying.
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When i relapsed a year and a half ago after 8 years sober, i felt horrible like id betrayed myself and i kept drinking the past year and a half, until 27 days ago.
Its hard i totally understand, try not to overthink it or your just feel low and sad.
Looking forward is the best thing to do.
Let people know how your feeling if you want to drink, with friends, family and here with all of us, as it really can help to know your not alone and people care about you and understand as they have made the same mistakes, we are human its what we do x
Remember you dont have to do this by yourself ok.
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Wow thank you for sharing that with me. I really appreciate talking to you. This has been helpful and I will make sure to come here more often. This is a hard adjustment to make especially since I have spent majority of my time at bars drinking. Most of my friends all drink and my partner too. I feel like a slave to the booze.
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Definitely check in here often, i found sobriety very isolating and lonely, as i felt no one understood truly and i found it hard, perhaps even out of my character to talk openly about it and connect with people, iv used AA zoom online meetings but here on this app is where i truly have felt comfortable and supported.
Stick around for a few weeks get used to it see if it works for you.
Even if you dont feel like talking here there is so much to read from other people where you may find there situation is similar and familiar to yours and how they got through it, but you also read responses from others with support, your really feel how powerful in a positive way it can help.
Im in the uk its 2:30am so if i fall asleep i hope to speak to you again good luck and please stick around.
You can do this, your strong ok 
and your not alone.
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Yeah I have a hard time talking in group settings such as AA meetings. I tend to mask my real feelings and don’t talk about how I really feel. I’m definitely better 1 on 1 with people. I will stick around. I hope to hear from you again soon. Get some rest! Night friend.
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Good night, i typed in the search bar here ‘rock bottom’ to fall asleep reading posts about what made others decide to stop , il fall asleep doing this.
Take care and check back when your ready.
Its been nice talking with you thank you.
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Hey how are you doing today ?
No pressure, but when your ready just seeing how things are for you.
Hope your feeling better today.
I litrally had about 2 hours sleep then woke and could not get back to sleep at 5am, so i ate a tub of haagen daz ice cream 
.
Iv had a bit of a rough day towards the end of it. But feeling so much better after reaching out here to this community- my first time reaching out and posting when things werent going so well, and i just thought id let you know it has worked and made me not feel alone going through the storm.
That first part opening up about something not going well is new for me, just thought my experience may help you to do the same if you arent feeling too great, or feel like picking up a drink, come here and tell us.
I cant describe in words how nice it is to know this support is right here.
Anyway when your ready we are all here on our journeys together.
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Hey I am doing ok. Still sober. Thanks for reaching out. I read your post today and I am sorry you were having a tough time. Glad to hear you are doing better.
I am at work and haven’t had the time to make a post yet but I am on lunch so I’ll spill some of it here.
I am realizing that on my downward slope last week I quit reaching out to people, and I stopped journaling and got sucked into my cravings. It seems weird to me how it all happened and how my mind just kept spiraling but I wouldn’t come back to any reason or senses. I think I need to realize what’s happening that my mind is trying to trick me and I need to reach out.
Today I have ugly brain fog and slept like crap but staying busy at work. My real issue is leaving work and making sure I don’t slump back into my old habits.
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Thats so good you have stayed sober so far, especially when we have these thoughts they can take over as you said, i hope the brain fog goes i hated that at the beginning, it was like my whole thought process was hijacked and making decisions when you feel that way is so hard.
Im so happy that you are making it through.
Im in bed now its 10:23pm in uk, just been looking through posts and writ the one you had seen. I hadnt really posted any doubts with my negative experience or to connect in that way as i guess it kind of made me feel like im weak but it helped so much.
Speaking with you is really nice too its re connecting and realising thats ok too, giving eachother a power and drive to carry on through, where we are not judged but understood.
It definitely is more beneficial for us to talk with people who have experienced what we have as i find with my family its a bit like " oh iv heard this so many times before" where as they dont actually understand the pain and effort it takes to stay sober for each hour let alone a day when our brain is working against us.
Im glad to catch up with you and glad your still here.
Keep going i know you can do this, you got to 23 days and had a slip up but that doesnt mean you lost what you worked so hard for and the effort you put in to those 23 days.
Im here for you.
Have lovely rest of the day, i find trying to plan my evening with something that i can look forward to like my favourite food or tv programme and a hot bath and try to focus on that. Doesnt stop the cravings when they come or the emotional rollercoaster but it definitely helps with my mind stay focused on planning something little but enjoyable.
Keep in touch and thanks for being here too🤗
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Watched some hockey to end my night and drinking some sleepy time tea. Going to try and get some rest. Feeling lonely so hopefully my cat will come cuddle already. Good night and I will not drink with you today… or tonight.
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What a day !! Positive one though.
Hows everything going for you ?
I started a intuitive recovery program its all this week,
Learning about what part of the brain causes cravings, tools to keep sober. Its really interesting but its worn me out too which definitely helps going to sleep better, only thing i keep having really disturbing nightmares 
.
Today im handling my emotions way better than yesterday, keeping busy and making sure i get outside.
feels nice to be tired from doing stuff other than drinking.
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