Haha you saying that reminds me that if I had wine with only 2 glasses worth in it, I would probably not even start and touch it unless I knew I had easy access for more. I could never kid myself that I’d settle for just two 
I was always so envious of those who could that. And it baffled me 
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Ha! Same. If I didn’t have at least two full bottles of wine in the house, I didn’t drink wine. Who drank less than two bottles of wine to themselves? Weirdos
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This is so true. Literally no point in a couple of glasses of wine
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Everyone has a sobriety date, just some are carved into a tombstone.
Get clean. There’s someone who needs you.
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Dang. That hits home hard.
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I don’t know where I’d be without the book “24 hours a day” by Richmond Walker. Entry for today, April 6 is the bad news I didn’t want to hear for years. My emphasis added.
All alcoholics have personality problems. They drink to escape from life, to counteract feelings of loneliness or inferiority, or because of some emotional conflict within them, so that they cannot adjust themselves to life. Alcoholics cannot stop drinking unless they find a way to solve their personality problems. That’s why going on the wagon doesn’t solve anything. That’s why taking the pledge usually doesn’t work. Was my personality problem ever solved by going on the wagon or taking the pledge?
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That’s interesting because I agree with why I drank….but I don’t feel as though I’ve done anything to fix those problems. Why I did was be kind to myself, learn to accept myself and love me for who I am. There never was anything wrong with me.
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I wondered that at first, too, but then decided my personality problem was a lack of self love. And I was trying every way to fill the void other than to love and accept myself for a long time.
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The bit about not being able to adjust to life, that was also huge for me. Part of stopping drinking was stopping doing the things that brought me shame, and thereby gaining some emotional room and flexibility to adjust to life, instead of wondering why it was so unfair.
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That is VERY true. Just the fact I’m not doing stupid shit helped me to love myself again. 
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I hated myself, in fact, that’s what made Step 3 challenging for me. I absolutely had an HP, but I didn’t feel worthy enough to be connected to it. That slowly changed over time, hearing the stories from others of how they experienced the same thing and then healed.
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Something I didn’t learn until a few years into sobriety is that we are ALL the villain in someone else’s story. And if you don’t think you are you have some growing to do. I know that I spent a few years in sobriety not grasping that. I always bitched about my toxic exes and bosses. It took someone very close to me to point out the victim stancing I was doing. They pointed out the other person probably has a much different perspective. So that’s when I learned it takes two to tango in a toxic relationship.
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Or any relationship. Doesn’t even have to be toxic. A wise friend always shares this one word… perspective.
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This was me last week. Just a few short years into sobriety and Wowser, here comes the awareness of my character defects (dang, I wish there was a gentler term for these). Not pleasant, but at least my recovery can help me forgive myself and forge a better way. This community is a gift.
Derek, hope you and kids are doing well. I remember summers being a bit chaotic with the Littles being out of school.
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Facts. My behavior (even in sobriety, gasp) has often times been problematic.
Some of you probably remember K. That whole story turned out so bad for everyone because I was naive and selfish.
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Makes this grandmom’s heart full!
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Lots of personality. Cute kiddos!
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Oh they have personality and/or attitude depending on the day.
All I know is that through AA and step work I’ve definitely learned some really valuable parenting skills.
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Wish I had learned when you did, but I sure am grateful to have it now.
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