Truth and Tough Love #3

I agree… To a point. Some days are just bad days. And it is OK to have negative emotions.

Like in the depths of depression it is super hard to find positives. But, in my experience at least, there is usually a bit of peace to be found by accepting things for what they are and letting them pass.

Can also definitely relate to looking for things to piss me off when I’m in a bad mood, although usually it’s only with hindsight that I realise that’s what I was doing :see_no_evil:

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That’s true.

I think there’s an interesting nuance to this. The problem isn’t so much having a bad day or having rough feelings at a particular moment. The problem is the object of the “badness”. There are lots of objects and situations I can be frustrated with (the broken freezer in my basement being one of them), but if I make the “badness” about the person (blaming myself for buying a second hand freezer, I “should have known better”, and maybe - crazy! - blaming my wife for not stopping me [even typing this now I think that’s crazy, but there it is]) instead of the object (the freezer, which is broken but which is physical & fixable: it’s not about blame, it’s just about acknowledging understandable frustration, then taking the next constructive step with the freezer), then I get in trouble.

Where we get in trouble is where we project responsibility onto other people, rather than taking responsibility in and for ourselves. Having bad days is fine! But if I’m responsible then I use emotional techniques to help myself “ride that wave”. It’s not about other people; it’s about me taking ownership of my experience.

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I remember my earliest days here. Autumn, my very first forum friend pointed out to me that fir many their sickness and brokenness manifests itself as anger. I try to remember this when responding to those who react with hostility to every offerred hand. They aren’t really angry. They are lost and afraid. They are “fear biters”.

I also remind myself that some will ultimately be consumed by their addiction, regardless of how many outstretched hands are offered.

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I describe this as "I see what I look at ".

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Yeah…That is very true if you just wake up in the morning looking for a reason to be angry the world will be more than happy to give you one…Its a vicious cycle of negative energy.

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