In terms of my part in it, honestly my conscience is clear. I’ve worked super hard on this project, done a ton in the organisation over and above my job description (including spotting stuff that the directors really should have noticed) to get it to a point where it was possible to make it happen, written reports, offered to attend meetings to answer questions, done a lot of staff engagement work, worked with the CEO to prepare communciations for the board to keep them up to date with what’s going on… So if they’ve felt out of the loop, that’s on them or my line manager!
Thank you @Donnie_Spiering@anon28001181@Meggers (just noticed the name change, much easier to remember and type out, ha!) and @Eke for your thoughtful and helpful comments. I have been reflecting on them this afternoon and have decided to just do a resignation letter with a couple of paragraphs explaining my reason for leaving and expressing my disappointment in the situation. It’s not the shortest letter, but it’s under one page and it says what I really need to say. It seems like a neat compromise and I feel a lot less anxious about it.
If they want to do an exit interview with me or find out more, I can drag the rest out then.
I’m glad you made a choice. Now you can move onward and upward.
As for the name change, it was time. The old one was a name I used many years ago and just went with it when I first got on here. At some point I felt it was confusing and annoying for people. And I’m a much goofier person than I was when I joined. So, here we are.
I have been clear about the fact I feel hurt and upset, and explained my reasons why. That is what I needed to do. If they want to udnerstand in more detail, they can contact me, cos I certainly have more detail. But I feel like a weight has been lifted and as far as I’m concerned, that is that.
Onward and upward indeed. Had a lovely phone call this morning with a local community group who will need help finding some funding in the next few months. So I think that’s my window opening, now the door is closed.
When I arrived at the doors of AA I didn’t have much in the way of spiritual beliefs. In fact my belief system was pretty askew. I was a few days out of rehab, homeless and hanging on by a thread. Clearly my beliefs were working in my favor. But when I got to AA they said all I had to do to stay sober was follow a few simple suggestions. One of those suggestions was pray to a higher power. Fuck me!, I thought, that sounds easy as shit. I can do that. And I did. It didn’t really matter what I believed, or didn’t believe, what mattered was that I was willing to do the work.
If they would have told me that I needed to sacrifice chickens and pray to Ozzy Osbourne to stay sober you’re damn sure I would have done it. I wasn’t going to let my person beliefs stand in the way of some good ole fashion recovery
So as some of you may know my wife and I are both in recovery. She has over 3.5 years and I’m close to 3 years. We have 2 children. We also have an agreement that if either of us relapse, even just one use (ha right?) we automatically lose the chance to be with the kids for at least a year of continuous sobriety. This is not negotiable. If I had a beer tonight the earliest I could be with my kids again is one year. We are both stable in our sobriety and program, but this type of accountability is always a good motivator.
I think it’s more of a deterrent than a punishment.
It would definitely be the warhead hanging over my head if I looked to pick up again.
Would I really want to not see my kids for a while year?
Yes. Without a doubt. My kids are happy because they have two sober parents. My wife’s and mine active addiction phase was not pretty. It would be the same now.
They’re so lucky, Derek; never having to learn to live with that type of household.
If I had to be honest I think I still carry crap from growing up with that. I left at 18 and never looked back.
Exactly. This is an agreement between us. It was established as soon as our relationship was getting serious. It is still discussed periodically and it is still 100% in place.
