This just really hit me
I end up drinking when I am stressed or depressed which has alot to do with my relationship.
I feel so much better when I give my problems to God rather than alcohol but it just creeps in on me and before I know it I’m out of control. But I really love the way you put that and I m going to try and remember that when I am tempted to give up.
Alot of what I have learned in my short time here is to figure out triggers and reasons for relapse or drinking and resentment I would say I have learned is my absolute number 1 trigger. So thank you for your post.
Random musing:
If you say you are willing to do anything to get sober, but can’t get sober then you aren’t willing to do everything.
I always thought I would do anything to get sober, but I refused to ask for help. I didn’t get sober. My willing to do anything moment was when I asked for help and started working steps.
6 Likes
Agreed. I spent years ignoring the problem and saying that I was doing pretty good because I’d go a month or two between serial abuses. All the while I never touched my program booklet, talked about it or did anything remotely close to being an active recovering addict. Finally got it in my head one night I went without sleep because I kept getting up over and over to binge on porn. The next day I realised I’m powerless to it and joined the forum.
It hasn’t been sunshine and roses the whole time, but it’s been far and away better than before.
5 Likes
Sometimes it takes trial and error to figure out that anything moment. However, it’s when people rule out a recovery program without trying. Those people clearly aren’t willing to do whatever it takes. I ruled out truly asking for help bc I thought I could get sober on will power alone. I was one of the stupid ones who seriously thought that I could just quit and not work on myself. I was very very dumb
4 Likes
This is how I’m feeling right now. However I’m trying to remember that I was that person before. It’s frustrating to read the excuses but I was queen of excuses myself.
I guess everyone needs to do it their own way on their own time. I just hope they are listening and making little metal lists of things they will try in the future.
Sometimes you might not even know what your, anything it takes, moment is. That’s why you try everything. I definitely didn’t try everything for sometime
I resisted everything except “not drinking” for 2 years. It was epic failures. I’m trying new things one at a time but I will try anything now.
2 Likes
Soooo… you say you don’t have an hour to spare to get to a meeting? But you were an all day drinker or addict? If you don’t put the same effort into recovery as you did into getting fucked up, well… Good luck you’re going to need it
4 Likes
Man, I just read that long relapse thread. It breaks my heart to see someone say they will do anything to stay sober then turn down every idea out there. I guess that’s why I never wanted to commit to sobriety (as opposed to small spurts of abstinence) until it was do or die. I didn’t want to be that person. I didn’t want to listen to anyone so I just did my 5-10 days on my own and didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want to be a hypocrite.
It’s frustrating as shit! But it’s not my battle if he doesn’t want help. You done good bro. I’m so glad to see the happy medium you have found in trying to help.
8 Likes
I just want homie to succeed bc I never really had that support during my relapse phases (bc I didn’t seek it out). I didn’t have anyone to push me or tell me to get the fuck up and do the work. I wish I did bc my relapses damn near killed me
3 Likes
You can lead a horse to water … That dont mean they are gonna drink it …
3 Likes
I hear ya. I didn’t want to hear shit or actually get help so I just did it quietly. Like an idiot. Nothing worked until I finally screamed it from the rooftops.
1 Like
That’s exactly it! I spent 2 years saying I’m gonna do this. Every night in bed saying I won’t drink tomorrow. In the morning when I went to the store, I won’t drink tomorrow!
Tomorrow never came!
Now, everybody knows, well people I care about anyway. I feel so strong because of it
3 Likes
Not everyone who shows up for my Stewardship classes is ready to make the changes necessary to get right financially. Not every one of my budget counselees are ready to change either. They think the simple act of showing up to class, or sitting with me while I help them prepare a budget is enough.
I always use the gym membership example to try to drive the point: If you want to lose weight and get strong, joining a gym won’t make it happen. You actually have to go to the gym, pick up heavy stuff, sweat, run, peddle, swim. You have to move against gravity. You have to be uncomfortable.
There was a point in my ministry where I was becoming jaded and cynical. Then I realized some just aren’t ready. Some will never be ready. It’s my job to help them when they are ready, but it’s up to them to be ready. They decide to be better. I help them learn to be better, faster, with knowledge.
7 Likes
I think I hate you now. What do you mean I actually have to GO to the gym? Boo.
10 Likes
I used this very analogy at a meeting earlier this week - it makes so much sense in my brain. Both are things that I am doing right now with a high level of commitment in terms of my time and effort and both are giving me results in my life that I was never ever able to obtain before. 
4 Likes
Newsflash: If you have ever tried to stop your DOC and could not you are powerless. If you have ever relapsed you are powerless.
My life and recovery is so much easier bc I know I am powerless over drugs and alcohol if I put them back in my body. I see people here say how they aren’t powerless, yet are struggling. Coincidence? I think not.
6 Likes
I think some folks get wrapped around the axle on the semantics, just as they do about what constitutes a relapse, or is it a slip, or an accident
Just like they do with the word “anything”. For me, “anything” means just that. Meetings. Sponsor. Polar plunge. Chippendales audition, spinning a sign on the side of the road. Whatever it takes. For others, “anything” has an asterisk next to it, and four pages of small print of all the items excluded from “anything”.
I will do anything to keep from using that which I know for a fact that I am powerless to stop on my own, once I have started.
6 Likes
Chippendales audition
Awesome.
6 Likes
For a long time I refused to admit I was powerless despite all the evidence to the contrary. I always told myself it was my choice to spend my entire paycheck on drugs, or wake up hungover, or black out and get in fights. I wanted to do those things damnit. And as long as I held on to that delusion of control I just kept right on ruining my life. When I got out of rehab this last time I was beat thoroughly. I literally got on my knees and begged God for help. I was crying and blathering on for like an hour. I realized then that I was completely fucked if I kept using. But God had my back then and he has it now. Everyday I ask God for help. And I don’t drink or get high. God bats 1.000.
4 Likes