I hate the term band wagon… it’s like oh the Seahawks are sucking again? I’m gonna be a Patriot fan.
Oh I’m gonna be sober for a couple months then drink then get sober again…
This is all my opinion. If you relapse buck up and say you relapsed. Dont keep falling off the wagon.
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I know that posts like that gave me “permission” to slip or relapse.
I get that relapse is a part of many people’s JOURNEY…but it is NOT a part of the process.
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I agree. The biggest thing is when it’s more than once. They come for advice and obviously dont take it. Then come back again for same advice. I will do my best the guide you in the best direction. But I also have to take care of myself. If they get relapsing well that’s on them. Or when they post it but never responded. It’s like… did you just want the attention or actually want help. Cause you’re not responding with a plan or anything.
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Yes! I’ve posted about this before. Some people sign on to this site and like Yoda Stevie says, they still have drinking to do. So they “relapse”. But they have to learn from that, just like we all do.
I came to the site already having done all that and my mind was set, " no more, not ever!"
A " relapse" is caused by a weakness of mind which I feel can be overcome. Each relapse, identify the weakness and fight it next time it comes!
If you can’t learn from mistakes, then you ain’t gonna get anywhere!
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I probably should have said journey not process but either way it really doesn’t have to be part of someone’s story. It just gets worrisome with so many new members, I hope they don’t read too much into those kind of posts.
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I was agreeing with your post. 
Sorry, hope it didn’t come off as aggressive. Wasn’t my intention.
This thread is quite a helpful reminder. I didn’t see a lot of things before I went to AA. Recently I looked at my older posts and generally the last year.
Someone said you can’t connect the dots looking forward but you can looking back.
When I joined a year ago people recommended going to AA so a year (a hellish one) after I was lucky enough to go to AA.
In the past year I was close to killing myself,others , driving drunk, almost dying from booze and drugs , just a hell of a year (not in a good way obviously ) and all of this multiple times.
Not actually listening to peoples advice, not doing whatever it takes, not reading the Big Book(which is really helpful for everyone not only AA members) not understanding anything about the problem… And whole lot of other bs…
I survived, I am lucky to be alive, I start to understand the problem, the place of God in my sobriety, my own faults, all of these things that actually keep people sober (I mean for lifetimes and for some years and years )
Thank you God and all the people who were apart of my journey so far. I could’ve died reaching this point but I didn’t.
To whomever it may concern please , but please don’t allow yourself to do what I did cause you may not be lucky to get where I am now. There is a whole lot of really good advice here and please listen because most of Alchoholics die drunk with a nuclear wasteland left…
Don’t know if this comes out the wrong way but ffs don’t allow yourself to die for nothing, you probably don’t “got this” rarely people do, I didn’t.
Know that your next relapse can be your last, we don’t have the luxury to relapse, God thank you I survived. Thank you 1000 times, thank you. Please don’t let me do it again cause I can’t fight anymore.
I am not one to talk or give advice but… I am a mess but a sober one. Returning from an Amazing meeting.
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I always offer hope and support to those who are headed back into recovery! All I’m saying is I’m done with hearing about how relapse is okay. Every time I hear that, it saves in my brain…when I feel like I’m going to use again all of those shares replay in my mind comforting me that it’s ok for me to go ahead and use.
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I had that around the 30 day mark. I was having a hard time and I did, one day say to myself, “well other people can do it, why can’t I?”
Obviously I didn’t, but I learnt from it.
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Hey mate, good to see ya. Nice post
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I already tried the moderating thing a few times before coming to this app/forum so I KNOW it doesn’t work. Relapse is not an option, because I know what happens after the first drink. I’m going to skip the damage to my internal organs, the daily hangovers, the guilt and shame and just keep on not drinking.
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When I got here 75 days ago, reading @Yoda-Stevie comment “decide to be better, and then be better” was like turning off a light switch for me. I thought “ok, That’s it - I’m done.” And just like that, I was. I don’t typically even read the chronic relapser posts. And this thread is my bible. This is not to say I don’t have lots of work to do on self-improvement or some of the traits that led me astray. Just that I’m 100% focused and committed on never drinking again. Some people are not there yet, but they will use regardless of what’s told to them. Nice work on this @Englishd. Love your posts
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“Hi, I’ve been a heavy drinker for 10 years. After my latest bender, I had blood leaking out of my ass. Is this normal?”
These questions really make me have a sad face-palm.
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I do sometimes wonder if people have common sense.
But then also remember how the disease is a trickster, and can really blind you to reality!
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Thanks Geo, going to the meeting was the best thing ever and I am grateful for that. I am actually going trough stuff , thinking about them, having fun ,real fun. Like wtf ! So weird…
I was walking down the street with one member after a meeting and I was eating gummy bears and chating and had a wtf moment. How the hell is this real? I love gummy bears. Hahaha
Not feeling good all the time , a lot of things on my mind but not feeling bad, in those terms. I feel I am going trough something without fighting and struggling just going through…
I was fighting real hard last time and failed. But now I am not fighting …
Sorry all for posting like this here …
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In that movie “Beautiful Boy” Steve Carrell freaks out on the rehab Centre when they say relapse is part of recovery and says “that’s like saying crashing is part of pilot training”… it’s ridiculous!
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I think when it comes to Pornography Addiction. Theres no healthy amount at all. Even someone who moderates is actually damaging their self and others in even consuming.
I get what you guys mean about the relapse thing. I do feel that some people need to relapse in order to learn though. Every relapse I’ve had, though I wish they didn’t happen, has taught me important lessons. That being said, i dont want to have to learn the hard way.
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Oh damn…if I had seen that in the theatre I probably would have shouted out “YES!” and gave a standing ovation.
I want to see that movie and the Julia Roberts one too.
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Makes me think if any addict ever just quit with no relapse? Like you say it is part of the learning process. You can actually learn from it or excuse it. If your excusing the relapse then your not taking this serious. Maybe if someone like myself with a heroin and needle addiction i know if i try one time it may be my life next time now that i have no tolerance. If your serious about recovering and treat this as life or death there are no excuses only lessions. If i would have continued to excuse my relapses to part of the process id still be using playing russian roulette with my life still trying to moderate.
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