Truth and tough love

At least my sober twin has a good sense of humor :sunglasses:

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I have a Gemini moon that’s why!

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I had to look that up, lol. My moon is Pisces, apparently.

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The disease and constant battle isn’t deliberate… and in no way am I avoiding responsibility for it. I feel like my point is being drowned out, but maybe I’m not in right place to go there… paddling back now. I understand the original cause/intentions of this post… my journey is a little different, but I’m gaining and learning from it and that’s all that matters.

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Aww, your moon and your wife’s sun are a good match😊

Lol, she said the same thing. She knows all about that astrology stuff. I just know my birth sign. And now my moon sign!

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I agree 100%

I find it helpful. Like today and this coming week there will be misunderstandings and hurt feelings and big mouths. I for one will pray for the first time and stfu :speak_no_evil:

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Right. Wouldn’t be here if that were the case?

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Well, if I don’t hear from you for a bit I’ll know your just keeping your signs advice :slight_smile: I don’t know if I’d call it a prayer, but reflecting on my behavior today and this evening and seeing it through my families eyes really was helpful. Willing to try the prayer, once I figure out a HP, for sure. Def here if you just have to vent

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I don’t think your journey different, rather I think you have yet to reach the point where you realize that this is a disease for which you have the power to send it into permanent remission, through a simple act of will: saying “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink, and saying “no” to the one hardest to deny…yourself. When you reach this point (and you will if you keep trying) you will finally be free.

It took me years to get here. I will never again put those chains on myself.

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Oh I’ll be here everyday I just won’t be drop kicking my coworker. You’re all safe. I’m happy you had an insightful day.

No physical violence towards the shitty coworker. He’s lucky :slight_smile:

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I would advise against drop-kicking your co-worker.

Better solution is a quick front-snap-kick to the inside of the forward leg, right below the knee. Will fold him like a lawn-chair.

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:rofl: I still like the throat punch but if you wanna cripple the bastard then go for the leg kick, lol

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:expressionless::expressionless::expressionless: Mkay lol.

I think I understand the point you are trying to make - and I think folks have different views in what constitutes a “relapse.”

I had to reset my timer three days after downloading this app. Do I consider that a “relapse”? No. Do I consider all the years I said I was going to quit for Lent (or a week or a month) and then didn’t follow through a relapse? No.
Why?
I had not dedicated myself to a sober life at that point. I knew I needed to stop drinking, but I had not gotten to the point of being willing to do anything to do so. I had not had a significant period of sobriety. I was, for lack of a better way of saying it, still getting ready to quit.

Now, at 220 days sober, I consider myself to be a recovering alcoholic. I have been in recovery since the day I accepted that I cannot drink again - no matter what. I am accountable to myself, my higher power, my loved ones, my AA family, and to all of you. I have promised all of the above that I will reach out for help before I ever drink again. If I do choose to drink again? That’s a relapse - and all of you will know that my life is in such a horrible place that I am willing to throw away my loved ones’ faith in me, the blessings given to me by my higher power, the love and time invested in me by so many alcoholics who help keep me sober, and every shread of dignity and self respect I have managed to begin to piece together again. That is what a relapse will mean for me today.

Prior to that? I had just never stopped being a drunk. Just my two cents…:heart:

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Everyone’s path here is their own and all I can hope for is that it leads you to true long term sobriety. Yes, you relapsed. That makes you no better or worse than any other person here. It doesn’t make you weak or stronger than the person that relapsed more than you. I am not here to judge but rather to help and for me anyone that judges you for those relapses has the issue. All I can tell you is what relapsing means to me.

When the kvetching goes on here about relapsing, it is easy for me to jump in and try and act as if I am better than and place my self above the relapser. Look at them – see they don’t really value their sobriety like I do and don’t work a program like I do… I AM SOBER AF!

The cold hard truth is that the only thing that separates me from a drink is the work I have done today to stay sober. I cannot rely on what I did yesterday or what I plan to do tomorrow – today is all i have and if i do what I am supposed to, I get a day pass that expires at midnight. As part of that, I am told that all I can do is carry my experience, strength, and hope to you and others – and that alone will help keep me sober. My sobriety is not dependent on whether after hearing me you decide to drink.

What was hard for me to understand here and in the rooms – you have a a motley crew of people ranging from dry drunks to those who have guided hundreds of guys through the steps and had impacts of countless people in their sober lives. Not everyone is holding a pearl of wisdom. Some never do, some occasionally do, and others – when they speak you better be fucking listening.

All I can do is try to learn from what message they carry and for some people that message for me is simply it is I don’t want what they have. That is a hard lesson to learn, here and in the rooms. Now when i see raging alcoholic behavior here and in the rooms, I understand that the person is still sick and suffering. It also allows me to understand and see the symptoms that lead to the behaviors such that I can be on the look out to catch them in me before I do something that I should not have. .

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Throat punch is a bit extreme on the tough-love scale I think. Eh, to each his own.

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It’s a she! Can I hold her face down in a snow bank?

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