This here is solid.
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Honestly! What’s with all the resistance? Admit that youre not willing to try the program. Its okay. If what youre doing doesnt pan out, AA is there for you as an alternative. Lets just be truthful here.
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Ok. I don’t want to belabour this topic but want to say this to clarify what I am trying to get through.
The way I see it your mind is set on one direction. That, in my book, is tunnel vision. Your “informed decision” is based on what you have read. If your mind is set in one way no matter what you read, positive or negative, you are always, sub conciously, going to go for the way you feel!
Please bear in mind that I am not actually actively working AA, I have been to meetings and see the value of them. At the moment I am not ready to start working steps, but that’s my business, and maybe I will, if I feel the need. I am, after all only 4 months sober, and I am fully aware that this is a long hard fight!
So I’m not pushing AA, I’m pushing open mindedness. Be willing to do absolutely anything to get and stay sober. It’s a long journey.
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In the context of addiction trigger = excuse. Plain and simple. Nothing can ‘cause’ someone to drink other than themselves.
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As someone with PTSD, when I am “triggered” I have an uncontrollable neuro-chemical response that causes high levels of distress.
As an alcoholic, I do not get “triggered”, I get thirsty. How I choose to deal with that thirst/craving/desire to get obliterated/etc is up to me.
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Exactly!
Using my own experience here.
I have a bad day at work, I’m so wound up I need a beer. No I don’t!
I have a good day, things have gone well, hey let’s celebrate! Not with beer I don’t!
My wife is sat next to me with a bottle of wine, we’re relaxing of an evening, 
. I’ve got ginger beer
In the pub all my mates pissed. Orange juice and lemonade please barkeep!
If you don’t want to drink, you don’t have to, you make that choice.
It might be uncomfortable. But we got into trouble by being comfortable.
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Oooohhhh. I love an orange and lemonade. I think if I asked for that here they would think I was crazy. And the lemonade isn’t the same anyway. Then again, the last time I walked into a pub was the day of my last drink on 12 October, so 
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I know. My mum used to drink it when I was a kid. it was called a Henry when I used to work behind the bar. Ask for that now and they just look at you. 
Then again, it was what I used to drink when I was too hungover to start drinking properly yet. That or a shandy. Some pre-game hydration. 
My gratitude for not doing that today is THROUGH THE ROOF, YO!
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My target…Is Quiche.
I know I don’t like cheese. I’ve never tried Parmesan Quiche but I read in a recipe book that it tastes like Cheese therefore I’m competely ruling it out. I wont like that quiche.
I love ham. The same recipe book contains a recipe for Quiche Lorraine. This quiche suits my taste better. Im going to make that one.
I have a quiche. I like this quiche.
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I think theres a flaw in your analogy here though. Food preferences are different than the topic we are discussing. Because a food you dislike may cause a physical reaction of disgust. Also in that same vein of thought, you already know you dont like cheese, because you’ve tried cheese before. Doesnt matter how you repackage it, you uave tried it.
So, the arguement is not that you read research abkut how cheese makes you bloated or is unhealthy, or that you took a bunch of anecdotes from other Anti-cheese people. Its that you actually tried it yourself first to conclude that cheese was not for you.
It’s not the quiche, its the cheese we’re talking about
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This was me for 2 years. I kept saying “I’m not going to AA, but maybe one day if what I’m doing doesn’t work maybe I’ll try it”. But I never did. I was going to try everything else first but there was the sentence “maybe I’ll try it if this doesn’t work”. (I’m pretty sure if we look at posts of mine from a year ago we will find that is a direct quote)
The honest truth is…I WAS SCARED. I was scared and I made a million excuses so I didn’t have to do something that scared me. But now I’ve learned that the ONLY way to get better is to do those things that scare me. Getting out of the “comfort zone”. Because the comfort zone is a bottle of wine!!
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What about a different recipe that seems to have great reviews as well?
Just playing devils advocate here. I don’t care what recipe you use, just pick something and commit to it.
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If I knew that a salmon and cheese quiche (yuck) would keep me sober, I would pray for the willingness, courage and strength, take some deep breathes and choke that damn thing down, then bask In the gifts that sobriety brings. But that’s just me. Because today I have choices.
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Only thing I had to eat to get sober were my words. I always talked about the things that wouldn’t work for me. I was wrong. Deadass wrong.
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Welcome @BobIsGone. I am happy you are here.
I am a member of this community who does their own program, consisting of self-discipline, martial arts, this forum, a male accountability partner, and the love and support of my wife of 20 years.
I haven’t ruled out meetings. Quite the contrary. I am committed to going to meetings should I ever relapse. Ive promised this to this community, my wife, my accountability partner, and myself. I don’t want to go to meetings, so this is extra motivation to stay sober.
So far it’s worked for 458 days.
My advice: Be honest and have a plan to escalate upon relapse. If you need help, get it. If it’s working, keep doing it. If it’s not working, add something else to your approach.
Decide to be better, and then be better. Keep getting better at getting better each and every day. Better today than you were yesterday, and tomorrow better still.
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I don’t even fucking like quiche, I don’t know why I chose quiche here…
Okay, so, even though I know I dont like parmesan, I should still try the quiche because other people have said its a good quiche. Those people probably know they like parmesan. I don’t. There is an alternative option which suggests i’ll have greater quiche success.
If I feel my quiche is going to be better using a cooking method and ingredients that I find more comfortable, why should I not make that quiche that way and with those ingredients?
Why? Why did I choose quiche?
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What if I told you there was an alternative quiche that had ingredients in it that you did like that would have the same result?
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I bet you think cake is better than pie too
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What do you think I am, some kind of heathen?
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