Truth and tough love


#871

My bad I meant east lol. I’m usually west of everyone


#872

Ya… I get it.
Best of luck to you.


#873

Those are for Norwegian sissies…we got our own gods…don’t need yours or the Norse ones :wink:


#874

I don’t need luck for to define a word… and I can’t count on luck either for my recovery… but thank you…
I don’t know why there’s so much reluctance about some clarification about the scientific uses of a word…what I see here it’s pretty much the same as addicts using that word for excuses, but now it’s people demonizing this same word to make people guilty of using it. The truth is neither are right… I was just trying to clarifying this.


#875

Lol same :joy:


#876

Sure something may trigger a response in the brain, but the person then chooses to act on it. If a vet with PTSD hears a firework explode they get triggered and have a flashback whether they want to or not. Addicts should not be comparing themselves to that. If you see people drinking you don’t have to drink, even if you get triggered. It’s a cop-out plain and simple.


#877

This. So much this. It makes me physically wince when people use the word in this context. For me and many others with PTSD, CPTSD or other experiences of trauma, the feeling of a trauma trigger is not in the same ballpark or even the same game as an alcohol or drug craving. Those that have experienced it or seen someone experience it know what I mean. For those that haven’t, I pray that remains the case because it is indescribably awful and uncontrollable. That’s all I’ve got to say on the subject.


#878

Definitely not the same as a PTSD trigger. You get instant anxiety most the time like feeling ur heart get swallowed by your stomach… Thats a pretty intense moment when someone faces a disorder like that or can understand it. A trigger for alcohol or drugs doesnt even compare as you have a choice and outcome. Serious trama events that cause PTSD stay branded in our minds leaving gut wrenching emotions or flashbacks pushing you AWAY from the situation. Not endulge or cave…


#879

I am happy that you can find some comfort in this, in your daily fight. Be sober, and cut your adversaries by half. A sober mind is needed to manage your illness. A sober body heals faster.


#880

This is literally my favourite thread to catch up on daily :smile:


#881

Yup. Mine too


#882

Disclaimer in advance. This is in no way directed at anyone in particular, this is in reference to something I read on here all the time, several times per week

I am usually not the type for tough love, it’s just not my style. However, and I might get some flak for this, there is one thing I read on the forum all the time that gets under my skin…in regards to the use of the word “hope”.

Now, hope in itself is a good thing. We all need some hope in our lives, especially when things are rough. It’s what can keep us going when we have nothing else.

But when I read “I hope I get sober”, “I hope I can stay sober”, etc…I think it’s absolute garbage. I’m sorry, but I do.

The counselor who led the IOP I was in back in 2012/2013 used to say something all the time when someone would come in saying they hope they will get sober: “Hope is for suckers” – and in the context of getting and staying sober, he is right.

Do not hope for it.

Go out and do it.


#883

Faith without works is dead. I hope for a million dollars but I won’t get anything unless I go out and work hard for it.


#884

I agree! And not to make light of this, but I posted in the thread “what you giving up for Lent” and I said DRAMA. I said “I wasn’t successful since Lent started and I HOPE tomorrow’s different”. And I used that word on purpose because I knew most likely I wouldn’t do anything different and still be knee deep in drama today.

Wonder how that’s going for me so far this morning?? :thinking:


#885

You call it sunlight…I call it death ray… transplanted from NY and I think there’s something seriously wrong with the sun out here…I think its stuck on high or something…


#886

I’m not doing too well with my lent commitment, either! :sweat:

I’m really working at it, and definitely swearing less, but these words have been woven into my vocabulary since I was 9! I’ve spent decades honing my craft of cursing. Tough to eradicate completely. I haven’t sworn intentionally, so that’s good. Just the odd one slips into a sentence here and there, but I’ve caught it every time.

It’s gonna be a long 40.


#887

I have been so loose with my swearing lately. I was pretty good about it for years, because kids. But lately my mouth has very little filter… Mostly words like hell and damn around them. Hopefully those aren’t too bad for kids :hear_no_evil:


#888

Hope is not a strategy. Hope is what you are left with when you run out of things to try to change the situation.

“Hi, I’m new to this sobriety thing, and hoping to get sober.”

You won’t, if hoping is all you do.


#889

I affectionately call it the broiler during the summer months. And I’m a born and raised valley of the sun javelina


#890

Hahahaha. Decades honing my craft! I’m right there with you.