I also feel this way. Ocationally I’ll say something or another, but usually I just read and move on. There’s not much to say to someone when they start by saying “I want to be sober, but this and that and all of those other things WONT work for ME”.
It’s just agrivating and heart breaking to have nothing to say.
New to AA. Going to a closed big book meeting at noon. How will it maybe “flow”? Is it one step discussed/kinda lecture format? Just whatever step someone is sharing about?
Got a little weepy this morning reading in big book about how I’ll never be a normal drinker. Made me think… well crap, has it seriously not sunk in yet in 135 days, I can’t ever transform into a normal drinker. Anyhoo (why do I type that I never speak that word), I’m quite insane. This friend I’ve made from a meeting keeps saying basically she wonders if she’s a real alcoholic. It’d been bugging me. Now I’m looking in the mirror thinking I must’ve been having same thoughts. Insane.
They will take turns reading from the big book (you can pass if you want) for the first part, then after people will discuss the reading. Again you can just listen. It’s a good way to get in the literature
How’d your meeting go??
I really didn’t think this needed to be said but apparently I’m wrong. If you are still getting stoned and it’s not prescribed by a doctor, you aren’t sober. You are just abstaining from your DOC, which is good I guess. But in reality you just switched one addiction for another.
Also all the planning in the world won’t get you sober unless you are willing to put in the work.
Also, if you disagree I really don’t give a shit. Start your own thread.
But i moderate … Thats cool rite? Wanna check with what our doc says…controversial as docs prescribe things we dont need or seek also… Its all about management and if it is affecting your life or finances. Thats for the eye of the beholder to distinguish whats sober and clean. Even in the rooms if your taking suboxone doc or not your not “clean”. Its true but do you wanna discourage them? I had this struggle and some members made me feel like i might as well be using if im not clean. Some i guess enjoy going every morning to get dosed and some want more in life. You can achieve if you perservere. Thats in our hands to manage
Seriously this kinda group is what I’m looking for I’m desperate for transparency and open real advice ! I’m so tired of this same old f****** marry go round and either my flat out I don’t give a f*** or constant endless list of excuses . At one point several years ago I had no shame when it came to my addiction. I did what I did and if you didn’t like it well go fly a kite ! A few rehabs later and losing everything that meant anything to me , I found my higher power and the most part of my inner-self wants to submit to this transformation but there’s a part of me that once I get clean for a bit and things are going good I forget how dangerous it is and then seems like life kicks me below the belt and next thing ya know I’m using again with no remorse but refusing to be honest you know cleaned up for awhile learned how to present myself in a way that projected that I had it together on the outside but on the inside nothing had changed because was doing the damn thing however I keep finding myself doing the thing I hated the most and feeling to ashamed to admit it to anyone who could actually help . I could tell people that I knew weren’t going to call me out or whatever but as far as telling anyone that would hold me accountable I just wouldn’t . I know they say if nothing changes nothing changes and I would go to meetings and every sponsor I found were way too busy to take me through the steps and the ones who weren’t to busy ended up just wanting to sneak and get high … I’m so ready for a true change to get a sponsor and work this program I have nothing to lose by giving this 100% because I’m going to be homeless and eventually dead if something doesn’t give ! I know there’s a chance that something will click inside me and I will get an understanding that changes my life and breaks this vicious cycle I’ve created that’s determined to kill me . I just don’t know where to begin …
Awesome job realizing the truth. Stop the crap or lifes going to get real, or you’ll be dead.
It begins with you, you have to find the resources to help, you have to want it, you have to put in the work, you have to change, we can be here and give advice but it’s ultimately up to you if you take it
Structured just as @Englishd described.
For years, I didn’t believe alcoholism was a disease. When I saw my mother in the ICU for the 1st time though, because of alcohol induced pancreatitis and psychosis and failing organs, I finally realized she was sick from the disease of alcoholism. It took me seeing her in the ICU to view her as sick. Growing up, before she or I started drinking, I remember her saying we “have the gene”.
Each time I go to a meeting, I hear someone reference how his or her child is also in the program. I fear my boys will develop the disease. I give the fear to God, but take it back…over and over again. I realize I often drank to mute many fears. Meetings have been bittersweet. I need meetings. I need the bitter and the sweet.
Don’t want to offend anyone. See you in the lounge.
Oh Derek, looks like your designated to the lounge 
I’ve reanimated it bc people were being babies lol
You mean still using
Theres a lady with 30+ years sobriety I think I’m going to ask to be my sponsor. No clue if she already has a bunch of sponsees or not. She pretty much scares me. I figure I gotta find a sponsor I think I can’t run all over. I find her intimidating. I’ve thought to myself, hell I’ll prolly drive my sponsor to drink… not her … I also think she could physically whip my ass. That’s a good thing.
So my kinda thinking goes like this — could potential sponsor beat me down and then curb stomp me, if deemed necessary to help me stay sober? … if yes, beg that potential sponsor for help stat you dumbass…
While there are definitely people who seem to get sober without working a program, it’s still a lot of hard work. If you think you are one of those people, but can’t go more than a few days without drinking, then you probably aren’t. Go to a meeting. There’s so many different programs out there that you literally have no excuse.
But I heard meetings are religious.
You know what else is religious?? Funerals
And traffic stops. “Dear God, if you get me outta this…”
Won’t go to AA because it’s religious… Best man in my friends Catholic wedding? Sign me up.
