Y’know, I actually really appreciate this, Ray, keeping it simple.
While I sometimes try to explain what keeps me sober, only making it sound complicated, it comes down to “I went to a meeting.” Between that and willingness, everything flowed from there.
It isn’t easy but it sure is simple. As much as @Yoda-Stevie’s, “Decide to get better, then get better…”
I want everyone to read this!! I use this phrase sometimes in my responses to folks but I think it needs to be the motto of the board. Everyone asks for advice but really they already know the answers, but no one really likes the answers. I know I sure didn’t.
It isn’t easy but it IS simple!!
Should sound familiar, I totally lifted it from you. 
A related quote picked up a few weeks ago, and this is the thread for it:
With the willing you can’t say anything wrong. With the unwilling you can’t say anything right.
Willing’s been a lot easier than unwilling, and Lue knows I tried both! 
And I suspect I got it from Mr. Yoda!!
Remember in Star Wars, when Yoda dies and comes back as an apparition to help Luke? I reckon that’s what’s going on now with @Yoda-Stevie. He’s probably reading this and will appear to help someone fight the dark side of addiction.
Use the force Derek, use the force!!
Maybe I should heed the advice of @MandiH more and just stay in my own lane.
Since @CaptAZ posted his thread on “How Much do you Sober Time”, I’ve been paying a lot more attention to member’s read time.
TS tracks how much total read time one has in addition to recent read time. Recent means within the last 100 days. If a user has no recent read time, then that person has not read at all within the past 100 days or that person is new and has not been in TS for 100 days.
Doesn’t take long to learn who is really serious about being engaged with the community. When you see a newbie with several hours of read time, but other long time members showing less than 2 hours of recent readtime, something doesn’t quite add up.
Well, I called a member on it last night. Thought I did it nicely. But I regret it now because the member didn’t really appreciate it.
I guess I’m learning that if a member does not have at least 1 day of reading time under his/her belt, then that person is not really searching for solutions. And my feedback, unless it’s solely comprised of words of compassion and encouragement, will pretty much be ignored.
I saw that and honestly I didn’t feel like you “called them out on it”. I thought it was a nice “hey, I noticed that you aren’t reading much here, that is a good place to start”.
I’m sorry that the person has chosen to leave but I think it was a case of “the truth hurts” because I was going to post exactly the same thing that the “asshole” posted.
I hope they come back after some time and reflection because I really did see some great potential there.
Maybe some perspective on helping newcomers. Probably why AA helps so many people, because of their outlook on helping people. It is also taught to therapists
From the big book
I think we need more of this, with out this, tough love is just tactless advice. Sorry @Englishd I will take my self back to the other threads.
Edited out a divisive word, my appologies for any hurt feelings.
On the contrary. Any quote from the big book is welcome here.
I do like that quote because I know how I needed to be approached. I needed truth and toughness bc coddling and hand holding didn’t do shit for me. So I think this thread does a good job of following that for people who need a more direct approach. I’m still genuinely confused as to why people who don’t like this message continue to read this thread. I know there’s plenty of threads I don’t read or concern myself with.
I don’t think anyone here has the power to make anyone leave this site anymore than we have the power to get someone sober. Well except for Robin. I’m pretty sure he can make people leave. If someone chooses to leave this site that’s a decision they made based on their views, needs, etc. Just like AA, SMART, therapy and whatnot isn’t for everyone, this site just isn’t for everyone.
“To see how you would him to approach you if the tables were turned”
I think that is exactly what is done in this thread. I approach people the way I would like to be approached.
The snowflake comment was interesting though, kind of passive aggressive divisive.
Mangment theory is often taught that employess dont leave companies, they leave managers. How they are treated by their boss influences there decision on finding new employment, we see this over and over.
Military history books are filled with leaders that inspired their men to do heroic, unimaginable feets. If one can inspire with words and actions, then one can do the exact opposite as well.
It saddens me, that one cannot comprehend the power of their own words and actions and how it affects the humanity around them. People most certainly affect other people. However, to each their own.
My appologies, did not type that out for that attempt. I will edit it out with an appology
I’m neither a leader nor a boss. I’m not in position of authority. I’m a recovering addict just like the rest of us. Thank you though for the ego stroke lol, but however people interpreter my words is up to them. I have never once suggested to anyone who is serious about recovery, or even contemplating recovery, that they should leave. I did suggest that the one guy who was trying sell drugs should leave.
I can give advice as I would like it given to me, as you suggested. But to think I have power over anyone is just a big ole ego trip. I wish I had that power because I would use it to get everyone sober.
Correction. I am a fuckin boss. Just not of anyone here 
You’re right. The real world is definitely something that needs to be prepared for. However, I don’t have the time nor energy to respond to all threads that I don’t agree with (some I do). I save that shit for Facebook
This forum is like a big ass open meeting.
There are all types of sobriety and help. From the more rigid and stern action types, to the consoling and understanding empathy types. There are the people who staunchly believe in a higher power, there are atheists and spiritualist. There people with 20, 30 years of sobriety and people with 20, 30 minutes of sobriety. There are people who like to get on the soapbox and use up all the time and people who like to just come and read and listen.
Just like in a meeting, take what you want and leave what you don’t. Find your people and get into the middle of the herd. Stop blaming anyone but yourself for not being able to be sober.
