Replacing addiction with a relationship in early sobriety is not a great idea. If you are barely sober how exactly do you plan on being in a new relationship?
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Working with an existing relationship in sobriety is hard enough I’ve found.
Let alone starting a new one!
I’m still working on finding out who I am let alone getting to know someone new. With all their baggage
That stuffs heavy enough with a woman I’ve known for 30 years nearly.
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Tell me about, sometimes I think the wife and were better together as drunks than as sober people, we’ve never not drank together. But we’re still working on it.
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I will say that even with Shay and I early on had some trials and tribulations. Thankfully we could apply the principle of AA to our problems. Took time though. We both had over a year sober before we became stable
I here ya. We’ve always drunk together. Drugged together.
I don’t know where she is on drinking these days. I think she is doing when we go out only. She not drunk at home for a month or so. We had a bit of a situation that I think opened her eyes to herself.
But hey here’s to the future!
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Man we’ve been together for almost 11 years, lil different lol especially when the wreckage of our past includes mostly all of each other
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Kava is just another “miracle cure” that will give you liver disease.
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I just want to tell you all how much I appreciate this thread!
I logged out of this forum about 6 months ago because all these posts saying that “relapsing is part of the process” and all that started to get to me (and I hate social media). I started to think if a relapse is “normal” and happens to everybody why should I be any different? Fortunately I realised how dangerous those thoughts are, logged out and focused on my sobriety.
I just started to read some stuff on here a few weeks ago and this is my new favorite thread!
Like it’s been said here many times, I’m ready to do whatever it takes to stay sober, that’s why I can say that today is day 340 of my new life!
Keep the truth coming! In my opinion we all need to heart it, especially the stuff that hurts!
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That’s great news Heidi. I know what you mean about the things that are said about relapse.
It happened a few months ago, maybe the same time you logged off but I was still in my early days and I started thinking well if they are all doing it why can’t I?!
Good to see you back!
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Hi @Heidi…I’m so glad you’ve returned to the forum.
I know what you mean about “relapse is a part of recovery”. UGH. I honestly would think “well if everyone relapses then it’s okay”. Such a dangerous statement. But I totally understand the meaning behind it. They are showing compassion and empathy for the person who is feeling guilty for the their relapse. I think we just need to find a better phrase to convey that message so that we don’t send a mixed message to all the newcomers.
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Years ago, I was chatting with a fellow Marine, who thought me crazy for choosing to go to combat swimmer school, rather than jump school. I told him that I’d rather trust my life to the strength of my arms and legs, rather than a piece of cloth packed by someone who might be having a bad day.
He said “I have almost 100 jumps. Never had a bad one”. I responded with “It only takes one, and the more you do it, the greater your chances of having one.”
This kinda sums up my thoughts on relapse: every time you have one, it might be the one you don’t recover from. It might be the one where you decide you’ve fallen far enough, pull the handle, and nothing happens. It’s like jumping put of a plane. Maybe you land softly, or maybe you burn in.
It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end. At least that’s the way I see it. Everyone is free to disagree. Me? I ain’t jumping anymore.
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Just like train dodging!
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Yoooo some dude just tried to sell me some dope when I was walking down the street. City living lol
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A friend of mine from rehab thought relapse was part of recovery too. He always thought he would just get another chance because he was young and healthy. Well right now I am watching his overdoes death unfold in real time over Facebook. His friend that’s with him is panicking and doesn’t know what do. I’m literally getting updates for the last 15 mins. This relapse was the end of his story. And everyone who is facebook friends with him gets to read about it as it occurs. His sister, his aunt, everyone is literally getting a play by play of their loved ones death. So yeah, relapse is a part of my torrid history and God kept me from ending up like my friend. But hey, keep saying you’ll quit tomorrow, or the next time, and you will. You will quit in a coffin.
Update: He appears to have survived. This time. But given his history I don’t think this will be the last scare.
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That update makes me SOOO happy.
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Me too. He’s not a bad guy. He just refuses to accept help. He continues to think he can do it his way. Sometimes he gets up to around 90 days clean before he starts to think that he’s go it, and boom, away he goes. He’s a had a stroke and other health issues from his continued use. Luckily his friend had narcan today. I gave instructions on how to use on his facebook. I doubt the guy read it, but ya never know. Now he’s telling everyone to leave him the fuck alone and that he doesn’t need help. He’s going to be dead by christmas at this rate.
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I never relapsed. But I did spend 18 years paying for my consequences by short periods of enforced or very grudging abstinence (not sobriety, but dryness). And, because I wasn’t done drinking, I’d go back to it. (Warning, opinions ahead!) The idea of relapse, to me, is a myth perpetuated in part by those who make a business of rehabs and detoxes, and in part by addicts and alcoholics who like me were desperately seeking an excuse to not take responsibility for their own recovery.
I don’t believe in relapse, I don’t believe in slips, I don’t believe in being struck drunk. In my experience, I wanted to drink more than I wanted to stop.
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Guys I really like this thread. In the beginning of my early days sobriety and some resets I have read through this thread and thought you guys are the meanest I can imagine and didn’t come back here again. Now that I am more stable all these posts make perfect sense and I love the truth and honesty going on here. 
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You are nailing it. Perfect 