When I drink at home, I can stop before I get shitfaced drunk. So 2020 wasn’t too bad for me. We stayed home and drank responsibly, and that fooled me into thinking that I don’t have drinking problems anymore.
We went out last night, got blackout drunk, neither my husband or I remember how we drove home, made a fool of myself in front of people, and now I’m lying in the bed with a pounding head and my anxiety is through the roof. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling embarrassed and ashamed by what I said and did. I hate that we DROVE home shitfaced drunk.
Welcome back.
I’d feel pretty ashamed and embarrassed too.
And you’re lucky you didn’t kill someone else.
For a lot of us here the reality is our next drink could kill us.
I’m glad you came back. Today’s is a great day to start your sober journey. I hope to see you around.
Just started again myself. I went without drinking for months and then had a very scary blackout session this week. I went hours without knowing what I did and I have no recollection. The amount of shame and guilt I feel consumed me greatly today. I haven’t even asked the person I was with about it because of the shame. But the tears have been wiped away and I’m trying again.
Welcome back! The one piece of advice that was given to me after a relapse and that reinforced my absolute determination to stop was…
** NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES!**
When I read it it sunk right in!..Throw out any booze in the house! Dust yourself off and start again. Clearly what you were doing before isn’t working so set up different tools. Did you go to AA last time you tried to quit? I remember those feelings, they are awful! Write down how ashamed and disgusted with yourself you are. Write it all down and then when you have the desire to drink again, read it! This worked for me. I wish you well.
I’m glad you’re here, try not to beat yourself up over it. It sounds like you were caught off guard by your own behaviour, but now you know what happens and can plan accordingly.
Sobriety is a great thing, so embrace it.
Most of all, never put yourself in a position where you have access to a car when you’ve been out drinking. This is too dangerous. If you feel you must go out, start the night without driving there, use public transport, find another way. Plan plan plan.
You know society makes you almost think your supposed to drink,and it’s just wrong because your not,they throw it in your face everywhere you go.
Try the book THE NAKED TRUTH it completely changed my perspective on alcohol and society!
I wish you the best on your journey
What you’re going through sounds too familiar… how are you feeling today? I’m still pretty anxious, but I’m going to listen to the advice on here and start a new day
In my case I think it’s something I’ll deal with for a long time but it’s a heck of a lot easier than when I was drinking, The hangover,embarrassment and the things I did that all caused major anxiety until I drank again, and then repeat!!
I actually tried something today the wife suggested it I drank some sleepytime tea (I’m a normal coffee drinker but I had to switch to decaf when I first started my sobriety) and it knocked the anxiety down a lot
Thanks for checking in. I woke up ok but then all of these thoughts flooded my head again. The “what did I do”, “what ifs”, “what does this person think”, “what if this happens again”. Just did a self acceptance visualization. Check out Leo at Actualized.org on YouTube. He has a video titled “The Power of Self Acceptance: How to Stop Beating Yourself Up.” At this point, it’s day by day but I’m confident.
How are you? I hope that today was better than yesterday. It’s about picking ourselves back up and going at it (life) again.
Welcome back to sobriety!! You never need to feel like this ever again.
As a former chronic relapser I would like to offer one piece of advice…take the word “try” out of your vocabulary. Make the decision to not drink anymore and then do it.
count yourself very lucky to have gotten away uninjured and without killing an innocent person. i would take this stroke of good luck and remind yourself daily of what havoc alcoholism can cause in your life.
My anxiety is still pretty bad. I managed myself to get out of the bed and took a shower, but I have 0 motivation to do anything. My head keeps repeating all the embarrassing stuff I did the night we went out. I’m watching some light hearted videos on Youtube to distract myself.
I have been there but let me just say – each day gets just a bit better. I have been watching some stand up comedy and that has helped. Also just talking to family about what they have going on showed me that the world keeps moving…and slowly, we will be in a better headspace. Keep me updated on your progress. One thing that is certain – our negative thoughts/feelings are only temporary. The lessons will be lasting. Hang in there😊
