Welcome! Opening up here is a good start. Addiction thrives in secrecy. Opening up & reaching out for help is a first step to change.
Meetings are a helpful place to listen and learn. Don’t be shy. Everyone there has been through exactly what you’re going through:
Podcasts about addiction help open up your eyes too. There’s a lot of good ones:
Take care & never give up. You are a good person who deserves a safe, sober life where you can be your full self.