@MrCade yes! It’s a habit I’ve picked up from the Stop Drinking subreddit. It’s another helpful forum for me. 
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Great forum!!!
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Oh shit!
I got it right?! That’s hilarious.
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Yep. You totally got it! If you’ve never hopped on to Reddit, give it a look. Just another place for support & people in the same boat as us.
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No, I did think that I could at one point and eventually it turned into full blown alcoholism again. It’s like a switch of either on or off but there’s no in between.
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I tried twice and both times I failed. I ended up just isolating myself and because I’m incredibly pig headed about my addictions, I wouldnt allow anyone the opportunity to get close enough to see what I was doing. So it’s a no from me, I’m afraid
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last time i drank i successfully brought myself back into a state of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. luckily i got out :
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Jeopardy is calling, lol!! I love that show…
No.not in 20 odd years.!.
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I read this quote, that I cant for the life of me remember but it was to the extent of you either moderate drinking and dont have fun, or binge drink and dont have fun.
For me, I have been able to moderate it ONLY sometimes. But drinking and forcing myself to moderate, gives me anxiety. Its like I either want to go full out, or not do it at all, but also, if I overdo it, I feel awful for days sometimes even weeks.
Nothing has helped me except just cutting it out completely.
If it’s something you can actually control, then great! But I’m guessing after a year, you will find pieces of yourself youve forgotten about, or find a completely new version of yourself and decide you don’t even want to go back.
One day at a time.
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This is the quote I was trying to remember!!
Like someone said earlier on in this thread: any person that wonders whether or not they drink responsibly… can’t.
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Im i a group, with alcoholics and half of them (we are 7) are able to socially drink. They do it maybe 1-4 times a year. They dont drink what they used to drink alot fx beer, they drink maybe three glasses of lets say red wine. And then its it. They never drink till the time, where they get a buzz. They have done that for years.
Im asking myself the same question, so i wouldnt blame anyone thinking about it, since it cant be hard, to get to terms, with never drinking again. I have a bachelor in microbiology and medicinal biology and we have learned according to any addiction, that we have receptors in our brain, when we drink, smoke or whatever we create more receptors, which alcohol or nicotine or whatever can bind to. When we stop using our DOC these receptors remains, this means that if we fx have quit smoking for 10 years and we have a cigarette, we are more likely to start an “addiction” again. This is why most people cant go back, since we have changed the amount of receptors in our brain and that will never change.
For me i will stay sober for now, i like not feeling guilty, anxeity and so on. I have set a date aswell, but i think i might find, when reaching that date, that i dont really need it. 
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At this point even if I could drink socially or in moderation I wouldn’t. I just don’t see the point. I’ve drank enough in my lifetime to last me 100 lifetimes. Alcohol has nothing to offer me. That’s not to say I’m not a risk of relapse, because I always will be, especially if I’m not working my program. Thinking that I am immune to relapse is the first sign my relapse has already started.
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@Dancingwheel - love this…
“You either moderate drinking and dont have fun, or binge drink and dont have fun.”
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Lord!! I tried moderation for years…a lot of years. I would only drink on weekends. Only red wine. Only white wine. Drink water in between alcohol drinks. Only drink top end vodka ( easier hangover haha). Only drink 3 drinks (haha). Only drink 3 days a week. The list was endless trying to figure out how I could keep drinking.
It wasn’t until I was so desperately sick of myself and my hangovers and bad decisions…until I was in a very dark suicidal mind set that I finally FINALLY internalized that all the moderating and bargaining in the world was not going to miraculously cure my horrendous relationship with alcohol.
I am incredibly grateful to have put all that anxiety and trying to rest. I no longer worry about how to manage the unmanageable and I am at peace with my self. Very thankful for sobriety.
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Here’s my attempt at moderation: I would constantly give myself limits…I could only drink on certain days, I could only drink after a certain time of the day, I could only drink if I worked out first, I could only have 3 drinks, 4 drinks, 5 drinks. I could have 6 drinks if I had water in between them. I could have 7 drinks if they were “low” in alcohol. I could have 8 drinks because I wasn’t driving. I could have 9 drinks and just call in sick. I could have 10 drinks and just not come home. I could have 11 drinks and just not come home for days. I could have 12 drinks and just drive home because it’s better than not going home.
I didn’t know how much I had to re live those times but that was exhausting and I needed the reminder.
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Yes i drank well socializing before.
Other times i went to far that i rather mot touch the stuff or the people around me forbid it
Reading your moderation list reminds me of all the lists I made for my pain pills. Thanks for helping me remember how sick I was Lea. I needed that reminder too.
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Personally I believe I drank to escape from reality for awhile. It was successful, however it caused me more problems than what facing reality has.
If i start drinking again I have no doubt that it will once again become the focus of my life
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