If withdrawal symptoms are strong then you need a doctor to give you medical advice. Serious withdrawals from alcohol can kill you.
Why not go to a hospital or a medical clinic to get a doctor’s help? It could save your life. Your kids benefit if you’re alive. (If you die from trying to do recovery withdrawals alone then you’re gone.)
There’s medical support options here:
You’ve been to meetings before and saw the benefit:
Get that support around you again. You need to find support from other people; you can’t do it alone. (No human can. It’s not fair to set unachievable goals for yourself. You need help like anyone would.) Groups help, there’s mixed groups and also women-focused groups, search around and find one that works:
There’s online meetings, you don’t even have to leave your house!
Keep searching, keep showing up, and remember: addiction lives in secrecy and hiding. If you are actively looking for support from medical people and recovery people you will find your path.