I’m sad you feel like this! There are so many people active on this app it is difficult to keep track of where everyone is at.
I notice you joined the forum a while ago so you may well be familiar with a lot of these threads but there are some really useful things about how to manage early sobriety. I put together a collection of them in January -
Next time you are feeling tempted, jump on here and reach out. It is difficult to make yourself vulnerable like that but my experience is that being able to ask for help when it’s needed is one of the strongest things a person can do 
