I’m 31, am I ever going to get this?
Am I not committed?
What am I doing wrong?
I don’t want to hate myself today but I feel like shit.
I feel embarrassed to be here, starting over again and again.
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Get right back on, learn from it and use it…
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I quit when I was 32. You’ll get there. Today just may be the day. What is your why?
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I am my why. Alcohol doesnt benefit me at all, and I know that…
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I’ve never gone to a meeting but, if I did attend a zoom meeting do I have to talk? Or can I just listen? I for real dont know how to do this anymore. Nothing sticks.
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You can attend and just listen. Who knows though, you may find it cathartic to open up. There’s lots of online options:
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You can just listen, no judgment, no demands. Do all the things that you need to make this work and be your new lifestyle.
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You can certainly just listen. They may call on you or ask you to say “hi” if you’re new (just that others may know you better) but you can simply pass. No pressure to speak if you don’t feel like it.
But you may hear something. It’s a room of folks with different stories that have been where you are, just like this place.
This forum and meetings opened my eyes to a lot of realizations I’m glad I didn’t have to make myself!
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I’ve started over for 15 years. I just know I’ll die if I keep it up. Last weekend I was so depressed I didn’t want to live, all because of alcohol. Alcohol is not my friend. Get busy living or get busy dying.
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Only you can answer this… Are there any themes coming up when you relapse? A common narrative or triggering event?
You say alcohol doesn’t benefit you at all… How does it negatively impact you? What do you have to gain from being sober?
I can still feel that morning afer feeling, the shame and all that horrible stuff that went with drinking. The blackouts, the oversharing, the false confidence, the money spent, the bruises, the things lost, the arguments, the feeling sick, the being unnecessarily vulnerable… I have held onto this and it’s really helped. This is what happens when I drink.
For me being sober means never having to feel like that again. So however bored, frustrated, lonely, sad, uncomfortable or awkward I feel, I know that drinking will just add an extra burden. I’ll still have to deal with the problem and then have a load of other things to deal with.
Edit to add… I must say at 32 I often feel like I’m too young to be dealing with this. Like why can’t I just say fuck it and have my mid life crisis later on like everyone else 
but really I am grateful to be doing this now. I know I’ve got lots more mistakes to make, so much more to learn etc. But doing it now will set me up for my best life, whatever that ends up looking like.
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What have you been doing to maintain your sobriety. Lets start there, maybe we can help.
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I didn’t “get this” until I was 51. Age has little to do with it. It’s not easier when you are older, or younger either. It comes down to how determined you are. Get up and try again, each and every time. Let frustration feed your determination, until the force of it is strong enough that it overcomes your desire to use your DOC.
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I just havent been trying hard enough.
After a while of sobriety I just give in. I figure, what’s one time? But then its 2, 3, 4, 5, times. It’s a vicious cycle.
I also get to a point where i stop checking in. I stop using my resources. Ughh. I hate this, really. ,
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Good you’re recognizing some of the stuff you can do better. Learn. Sobriety is a process and a journey, not some static goal. And good you hate it too. Gives you some incentive to do better. Try new things. do the things you already see you didn’t. Learn. Study. Work your sobriety. it doesn’t come for free as you damned well know.
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Thank you so much
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I was doing so good. I just feel so sad about it right now.
I really want to succeed you guys. I really really do.
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definition of insanity is repeating the same actions and expecting a different result. Its time to try something new mate 
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I really need a new plan. I might try meetings. That’s something I’ve never done
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