I decided to test myself on Halloween. I mean, I’ve been clean for more than 3 weeks, I should be fine?
Fast forward to two days later. I’m realizing now I have no control over this. I dont know what to do. I cant stop once I start. I’m disappointing my fiance, myself, and my potential. Oh man, I feel so screwed.
I’m sad at my life. I can be so much more.
What have you already tried to get sober? More importantly what are you going to do next? Have you got support?.
Since getting sober I have not even contemplated testing myself by going to a bar, pub or club I know it’s not worth testing myself that way until I have a decent amount of sobriety behind me, at 96 days you may think it’s enough. The advice you will receive is find a meeting, any kind of meeting weather it be AA or SMART, if you are serious about getting sober then that is your best chance of sustainable sobriety. Write down all the reasons why you want to quit drinking, then write another list of what you want to get out of being sober. Be honest with yourself and your partner, family and friends if they are to support you. Good luck going forward
Thanks for responding. I’m a little bit lost at the moment. I guess I can check out a meeting? I just dont know what to do.
You can’t change what has been but you can change what will be. What are you currently feeling?
You’re not stupid, you’re learning. We’ve all been there, done that. It’s in the past and what’s done is done. No sense in stressing over as long as you’ve learned from it.
The good news is, this is the last time you have to feel this way, if you want. Starting today you can make the choice to fight for sobriety at all costs. It can start today! If you’re not where to start, reach out to the community here.
Been there, for decades. Talk myself into just one…and then the debauchery. You are not stupid. I came to the realization there is only 1 thing that can make me drink…and that is me…i can make excuses, let myself get triggered, have grandiose plans on how I will control it. If I let myself down that path, i will fail. Plainly put, only I can make myself drink. I have the control, i for decades didnt think I had. It only takes me to drink, but it takes so much more to stay sober. It took this place, AA, God, and friends that support me. You get those thoughts…use this place, a meeting, a higher power. That team will keep you sober, but only you can make you use.
We have all been there, you now know what will happen…and that knowledge makes you powerful! Use it to keep you sober. A sober life is a life worth living. You can do this!
You dont know what to do?..YES YOU DO! You came here, and that is a wonderful step. There is so much information and so much support, it will help you take that second step.
You aren’t stupid. You’re actually having a very huge realization right now, you should really roll with this epiphany. You’re not screwed, you’re exactly right where you need to be. You know you can’t moderate your DOC.
Now to figure out how to stay sober 
there’s so much info on here to build your toolbox
If you haven’t seen this thread already, check it out. Lots of useful info and support, on top of all the great advice above 