That’s it… what do you do to replace it? I watch tv, I go to the gym, I keep busy. But I struggle when I get home before bed.
I read.
I study (well, I’m calling it studying, because it’s pretty much that :-))
I listen to audiobooks.
I also listen to podcasts about history, art etc.
I spend more time with my son (and we argue more :-)))).
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Part of being sober and living differently by being in recovery is realizing we don’t have to fill every living moment with stuff to do. Emptiness, doing nothing, lazing around, it has its purpose and its use. We have to learn to simply be at times. Something that becomes harder every day it seems, with us modern people needing to be entertained every second of the day. And especially hard for us addicts, who used to fill every moment with using.
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I do miles and miles of cycling. Road, gravel, MTBing etc. I tend to do that solo so am working on joining group rides more often. Isolation for me is a sure-fire trigger for drinking. I don’t mind the group rides at all. I can do either. But making a conscious effort to hang out with others always helps for me.
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Walking, running, cycling, exercising and enjoying good sleep 
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For me, this took time to get to that place in recovery. I have always been fairly comfortable with simply being vs doing (and certainly more and more as I age). In early sobriety tho, distraction was a key element for me.
@NikkiP, I found puzzles, knitting, baking, going to sleep early, more time working out, reading, running, yoga, bicycling, walking/hiking/exploring, meditation, and lots more reading really helpful. Plus I spent a lot of time on here. For me, it was important to work my body to just about exhaustion during the day if possible, so I could wind down easier at night. Luckily I love reading, so that was big for me. Also, learning to quiet my mind…getting lost in meditation…was very helpful.
Lots of threads here on hobbies if you feel like using the search feature.
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I have such a hard time with this. I’m always going and going from when I get up to when I go to bed. When I try to just be I get cravings from boredom
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I feel like now I’m a bit older (44) I tend to favor doing things by myself. Walking the dog, watching documentaries, having diner with and talking to my son, reading… I have less fomo.
Replacing drinking was more challenging in my haydays of partying, but the gym was my go to place. I could use some exercise now too though, smh.
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This sentence is getting some love. This was such a struggle for me. My first 6-12 months I probably needed constant brain distraction. I found that by going to like 2-3 AA meetings a day, which was really beneficially. But that pace is not sustainable. Eventually I had to learn how to live in my own head. I did that by working the steps.
As for my hobbies I do so much now that I am sober. However, the outdoors is my true calling when it comes to non drinking activities.
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I’m a cyclist too and I added walking/hiking in the last years. Can do that for hours on end. Closest thing I can get to doing nothing I guess. Alone most of the times, that’s the way I lived most of my life. Deciding at a very young age I could trust no one and had to do it all by myself. Alone.
A second thing I now try to do instead of drinking is to try and find connection. For me -and I think for addicts in general- that’s at least as hard as doing nothing, as all we did in active addiction was isolate ourselves ever further with our DOC’s. All alone in a room full of strangers. Now looking for real connection. I found some here, online. Which is odd maybe but it is with my peers and that is not so strange.
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Well said and ditto for me.
Amazing add-ons for the love of cycling/hiking for me have been:
- wandrer.earth, and
- Veloviewer max squares/clusters etc. Meet the Explorers | VeloViewer
It all keeps me happy and away from the bad stuff.
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I also love playing chess! 
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Instead of stopping off at my fave bottle shop after work to get a quick buzz before going home, I have my own little coffee clatch by myself: get a Starbucks, sit in my car alone and listen to music, journal, or browse here on TS. I need to have just a few minutes of soul time to myself right after work before going home and having to talk about my day.
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I work in my garage wood shop and listen to music. I made these out of scrap lumber from work.
I’ve also been focusing on quality time with my kids.
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Exercise is good and keeping busy , in the evenings i go to a meeting wise guys AA they new that after work till bed would be hard
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I stay busy in whatever way that intels, i read, i go to meetings in person and zoom. I have to boys that also keep me busy. Then most of all i do some self care for myself just being alone taking care of me.
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I live like I was meant to live. I love my wife and family. I practice and teach my martial arts. I read and listen to podcasts and audiobooks. I cook and eat good food.
Too much life to live every single day. Alcohol would just get in the way.
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I can relate to this in the early days, but now I love my routine. I’m pretty intentional about “the last hour”:
I usually have some pretty unwind-y music on.
I do a quick tidy of my desk and place. I make sure the kitchen is clean before bed. It’s still a thrill to wake up to a clean kitchen.
I wash my face! And moisturize. (If my mind is still too active, I take a warm bath or do some yin yoga.)
I say goodnight to my good dog girl and give her a few pats. Every night. 
I read in bed for a bit and intentionally shut out the lights.
Honestly? There were a lot of nights in the before times when none of that happened. 
How we live our days is how we live our lives, hey? 
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I actually keep on top of work. Even do extra stuff. I look at whatever YouTube or TikTok video my kids want to show me and pay attention . I read and study. Make tea and eat apple slices.
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