What do you do when you're feeling weak? I need help to make it more than a day

I need help, I can’t seem to make it past 13 days. That was once. The rest are days, I start off good. Then I rationalize till I’m drinking. Yesterday I had 2 bottles of wine the day befor 3. What do you do when temptation is firmly planted in your brain? I got all the alcohol out of the house. I just go get it after I rationalize myself to the point of, its cool if I drink. Its not a big deal. I need activities or hobbies. So tell me what do you do to push through your weak times.

6 Likes

I started listening to podcasts…
Read some epic books on sobriety
When I have cravings I go for a big ass walk with my headphones in
Binge watch some tv.

Know that your worth being clean.

6 Likes

I drank ! Simple as that. Drank and drank. Till one day I didn’t want to anymore , still I drank. Tried activities and hobies and drank. Tried many other things too, still drank.

Eventually got into AA . Today I have something that works, something I can fully rely on. Anytime of day. Higher Power, The Program,Friends and Meetings . Now I can do those activities and hobies sober and not afraid of drinking again.

8 Likes

Thoughts come and go. The urge or craving won’t last forever if you simply wait it out. Meditation does help. It helps me to not feel so attached to my thoughts and see them more objectively. Then it’s easier to respond or not respond to them.

Also, maybe addressing the underlying reason for wanting to drink. What are you trying to solve by drinking? What need are you trying to fulfill? If you can pinpoint the unmet need, then you can fulfill it in a healthier way. At least for me, the urge to drink was always fueled by something more than simply wanting to drink.

6 Likes

What are you doing on those 13 days to get a better understanding of why you’re drinking so much?

You could tell yourself that every time you have a craving you’ll go outside for a walk, or you’ll treat yourself to something that’s NOT alcohol. In the beginning it’s just about getting through it. The cravings will subside. But just avoiding alcohol without doing anything else to get a better understanding of what’s going on within you, is white knuckling it and I’m not sure it works for anyone.

5 Likes

Also, reaching out here like you did to garner support is a great tool to use if you’re feeling tempted. So great job on that. :grin::+1:t2:

3 Likes

@SLB I had days like this and many of them here is what I did

  • what are the dark places I went to due to alchohol
  • whom did I hurt and is repeating that worth it?
  • went to AA
  • did not answer any of the calls from what I call drinking buddies
3 Likes

You know, something has to click in you where drinking isn’t even on the radar, it’s not an option for bad days, good days, etc. Life is meant to be lived with all the emotions and no need to drown them out. Drinking is over rated in our society. I like to think of exactly what it’s doing when we ingest it; to the organs, our brains, behavior, etc. There really is no good reason except it’s what we’ve always done!

9 Likes

That voice is not real. It can’t physically make us go to the shop buy and open a bottle.
We need to be stronger and have the courage and faith in ourselves that we can do this.
Sobriety is way more than just saying " I’m not drinking anymore" at least at first it is.

7 Likes

I would remember how shitty drinking made me feel. Not just physically, but mentally, and deep in my soul. Drinking was sucking the life out of me, I knew that, but still I drank.

Some stuff that helped me when urges hit…

Take a walk
Take a bath
Sleep
Ride my bike
Run
Veg in front of TV
Stuff my face with food, preferable ice cream
Drink something fizzy and sweet…ginger beer is good, lots of sugar (and no beer)
Write in my journal
Sleep more
Jump around or dance nervous energy away
Puzzles
Get on here and read read read or post or both

I know it can feel impossible, but it isn’t. Keep your focus on today. Don’t drink today. Plenty of time for solving your why’s once you feel a little steady in sobriety.

Here are some threads that might keep you occupied as well…

And well done on being here and working to better your health and life! :heart:

5 Likes

In terms of hobbies think back, is there anything you enjoyed maybe in grade school or high school that you did and stopped doing? Drawing, theater, poetry, music anything? Remember what you enjoy. You don’t have to be an expert today but those are technically still your hobbies. Engage in them. Try them out on your own or with friends.

Im a big fan of splattering paint. Does it become art? Eh… technically. What it is is fun, it passes the time and that’s what important.

Hope this helps :slight_smile:

3 Likes

I was doing Keto during my first two months. I didn’t even decide to stop drinking until after I had refrained for a week. I thought I’d start back up again after I was done with Keto. I think if I had focused on just refraining from alcohol, I wouldn’t have done it. I would have only focused on that. So, really try to focus on something else. I was having fun with new recipes and my stand up mixer. Do what you like to do!

2 Likes

When I was 16, I was hanging out at the river on a hot summer’s day. I noticed some guys jumping off a near by bridge an thought it looked like fun. I sat and watched and eventually, I talked myself in to doing it. I earnestly walked up the river bed and made my way to the bridge. I was so excited to give it a try. As I stood there, toes hanging over the edge, I started having second thoughts. I figured I should put my self in a position where I couldn’t back down, so I hung from the bridge. I hung there for what felt like eternity. Why couldn’t I just drop? I was afraid, I was very afraid. What ifs flooded my brain, what if I hit a log, what if I never come back up… All while people are encouraging and cheering me on, “Jump! Jump! Jump!” they chanted. I hung on on that ledge as long as I could stand, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and I let go.

It sounds like you are on that ledge yourself. You want to jump in to sobriety, but you’re still holding on. This is the difference between wanting to do it, and deciding to do it. When you get the courage to let go, it will all fall in to place. But that’s all you need to do, just let go.

I wish you the best! :blush:

8 Likes

All of the above and I want to stress to hang out here. For as long as it takes. Engage. Talk. Post. Comment. About anything. Enough different threads and subjects. It doesn’t have to involve your urges. Anything to stay away from drinking. Stay here. Don’t stay alone by yourself with your thoughts of drinking. Like @anon12657779 also says, the voice in your head isn’t real. And I can add that’s it’s just a voice talking. It’s not a command that has to obeyed. You really have free will. Let us and this place help you to exercise it.

2 Likes

Surround yourself with positive people who don’t drink or drug. Then fall in love with the process of living sober one day at a time. Repeat daily until it becomes habit. The hard part though is revisiting the past to unpack where this behaviour started and repairing yourself. To understand fully of what I mean you have to disclose some deep secrets or uncomfortable memories with someone (preferably someone like an AA sponser or counselor etc) Discover how the past made you who you are today (Defects) then understand how these defects reflect onto others (abuse or neglect of responsibility. By then you should have a conscience which will kick your ass daily and you will begin to recover lol… something like this anyway but its night done over night. You can achieve much with the right crowd :+1:

2 Likes

Strong is what you are left with, when you’ve run out of weakness.

Constant challenge is how you build mental strength. Ever try lifting weights or training for a marathon? In the beginning you feel weak. The weight seems crushing, the first mile Neverending. You keep pushing and grinding. Maybe at first the weights you work with seem pitifully small, or the first half-mile like your legs will give out, and your chest will explode. But you keep getting after it, day by day.

Then one day you realize the weight seems light, or you’re not the slightest bit winded after you run that mile. Did the weight get lighter or the mile shorter?

No. What happened is you got stronger. It is the same with sobriety. The will to be sober is what you must strengthen, by saying “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink.

“It seems difficult at first, because everything is difficult at first.”

Miyomoto Musashi

6 Likes

I like that saying! Kind of profound in it’s simplicity. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

2 Likes

Every day is a “weak time” for me. I cannot stay sober on my own, so every morning I ask for help, and then I take actions to stay sober, like coming on here or going to an AA meeting.

For getting started, here is a thread with great advice on what it takes to get sober: 2 years sober and what helped me to get there:, from our friend @SoberWalker.

5 Likes

How have you been doing?