I agree with @Steve14 that there might not actually be a rock bottom for some people. I don’t know what mine would have been, other than death. There were things I did that were far worse than other people’s ‘rock bottom’, but it didn’t stop me. Everything just kept getting gradually worse.
You don’t have to wait for something to happen to make quit. You have to want to quit. And want it bad. After 22 years of drinking, and spending the last 7 wanting to quit but failing over and over, I finally suffered enough. You don’t have to. Stick around. Learn about your options. Do something, anything, different. Do it for yourself. We’re right here with you
Stop obsessing over the specifics of your drinking and who notices or how long it may go on and look around it: what are you drinking to escape from? What is it that instead of doing you drink? What about your life is so uncomfortable that you are drinking at it?
The answers will be long and complex and they’ll keep coming for a while.
I suggest journalling, self-help and if you can afford it and really want to change: therapy.
You only need to ask yourself this: do you want to change, yet? For me, when the pain of staying the same truly became greater than the pain of change, I did it, I moved. I was stuck in the same place for a long long time just like you. Change is possible and will happen. Prepare the soil for it, ask yourself the right questions.
Of course, your story is only your own story. Here though, in the replies, you can see so many other stories that have many similarities to yours.
Lots of good feedback here for you.
I hope you will read them and read them again, and again, and take the words written for you to heart, and decide just for today you are not going to drink.
For me personally the answer to this question was a matter of self esteem…once everything was stripped back thats what the crux of the matter was…i continued to drink because i felt like nothing, that i didnt matter, i wasnt good enough, i didnt deserve a better life and i had no self worth…eventually i was handed a rock bottom that brought me to my knees…ive done masses of work on my self esteem since then and now that i do genuinely care about myself there is no way id want that life for myself now…why would i? Its hell…i deserve a happy and healthy life. So do you.
Well, FWIW you’re not alone since everything you’ve described is exactly what I’m going through as well. I realized that if I don’t stop, I’m going to literally die one way or the other. And the reason I didn’t want to stop is because being high from the booze is the only time I really feel good.
I thought about them a lot today and I decided to give sobriety a chance. A few months ago I made it 10 days, but I have to go back 5 years since I got a month under my belt - thinking that over kind of put into perspective how the years can add up and I really want to avoid standing still or doing any more damage than I already have.
