I’m a bit confused lately. Last year I knew I was an alcoholic, people told me I was an alcoholic and I felt like an alcoholic. Now Im not so sure. I drank every day for 7 and a half years, I needed at least 1 bottle of wine a night and a few joints to actually get some sleep. Towards the end, I was drinking 5-6 bottles of wine a day, and some vodka. I hit my rock bottom, I was so depressed, my partner dragged me to the docs and I was put on antidepressants. A month or so later, I slowly felt my mood improve and decided enough’s enough. I need to try to get sober, life has to be better than this, Ive forgotten what reality feels like. So anyway, I’ve been seeing people posting threads basically saying in more or less words that an alcoholic can only be saved through meetings, rehab etc, and will power wasn’t enough for them. seems a bit like they’re implying that people who have quit through willpower havent had as big a problem as they have. I haven’t been to a meeting or rehab, and I stopped through sheer willpower. It was the biggest lifestyle change I’ve ever made, and I know I hit my rock bottom before I stopped.But that kind of talk just makes me question whether I just had a problem that got out of hand that I could gain back control of, or if I’m an alcoholic? Was I just self medicating, will I be ok now I’m on tablets? I know what my gut tells me, but I’m just still not sure. I’m not desperate to start drinking again, and I’ve enjoyed being sober. But is it essential that I stick to this drastic lifestyle change for ever ? Am I not an alcoholic because I’ve managed to stop drinking without putting my faith into a higher power? Has anyone else felt like this?
I don’t go to AA and am only 34 days sober. I heard an AA speaker on a podcast speak of something called spontaneous sobriety I think. Made me think, well did I do that?.?
It is very confusing. I mean some people get really deep into the whole alcoholic thing, whilst my doc met me once, said it its down to my personality, that I need to stop drinking altogether I can never be a moderate drinker. Because I’m being sceptical of this, others will say something along the lines of it being my alcoholic brain trying to make excuses to drink, I’m sure. You’re right, it is confusing and labelling blows. @SweetTea I’ve never heard of this, I will have to look into it, and confuse my poor brain some more 
I have never been to AA or rehab and I hear you. I definitely have felt people were dismissive of my addiction(s) because I never hit some generic so called low bottom. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck what they think…since they know zero about my life other than what little I have shared with them. I detest labels and rarely call myself an alcoholic, though all my doctors over the years never had a problem calling me one. Whatever.
Seriously, only you know what is best for you. I know what is best for me and not drinking is it. Plus, I drank for 40+ years and I completely, utterly know what that gives me and where it leads. I am so enjoying this first year (and 2 days!) of not drinking…I want to see how it feels after a few more years…cuz I do know how drinking would feel (shitty and out of control).
From what you wrote, I would say you already know what’s up with drinking…that dog don’t hunt …pass it by and move on to better things.
I think it’s completely normal to feel this way… I often think to myself well clearly I’ve controlled not drinking this long, one drink would be fine but I’m just soooooooo afraid of what could happen. I know deep down one drink will eventually turn to 2 and then 3. Maybe it would be fine. Or maybe I would make the worst mistake of my life. Only you can determine what’s right for you.
Very well said @SassyRocks @C-sun @Bill_Phillips .
I’m just gonna go with my gut, it’s rarely let me down before . Not gonna mess this all up for the sake of curiosity. I need to stop reading in to things so much, but I’m still fairly new to the sober thing.
I think the simple fact that you’re even asking such a question is answer enough in itself. You know what YOU need to do.
You’re an alcoholic if you say you are. We definitely can’t tell you. There are such things as heavy drinkers who can just put it down and never pick up again. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. They tend to be miserable though if they are alcoholics. AA is so much more than just not drinking. It’s a new way of life. Fear and doubt will slowly leave you and be replaced by peace and serenity. We live happy, spiritual lives. After some time most of us don’t even think of a drink. We go to meetings to get our daily treatment for our disease. And it is definitely a disease.
Just do you and if it’s working then isn’t that great. I didn’t drink the volumes you are talking about but I consider myself to be alcoholic - now in a healthy recovery state.
I went to AA, I didn’t really research other options however, but it has worked for me however I feel quite lucky I met my sponsor at my third meeting and he took me through the program very early on. We all had to find willpower so don’t let others opinions bother you too much I take what I need from AA and leave the rest.
If you’ve broken that terrible cycle and it’s working for you then that’s what really matters, you know yourself better than anyone else.
Had a guy come to me a long time ago now and he asked me if he was a alcoholic i asked him did he think he was he replied i dont know ! i said try a meeting if you dont like it then try and stop for awhile yourself see what happens . he did try and stop himself it worked for a while then he thought he could drink again ,im in my 32 second year sober i still go to meets and sponsor i like to help others who suffer ,and even today i feel sad when i pass the grave yard were he was buried at 25 , my late sponsor used to say we dont write our own references , only you can say your a Alcoholic my life became unmanageable and i new that i had adrink problem im a alcoholic , have agood day everyone
Not to take away from your willpower but my sobriety coincided with being put on an anti-depressan. I didn’t want to mix it with alcohol so I didn’t drink and then it kicked it and the desire to drink has never returned. I credit the Paxil
I really recommend getting This Naked Mind which explains how alcohol hijacks your brain. It’s a little simplistic but a good introduction. Your reward centers are trained to demand it. It’s not you consciously making the decision, because that is pretty irrational.
There’s no clear definition of alcoholic. Are you worried about labeling yourself or other people labeling you? I called myself an alcoholic because I can’t quit at one, have nearly gotten in big trouble from it. Never drank as much as you but it was its own scourge on my life.
Label or not I had to stop. The effects or potential effects were serious.
Drinking was a crutch to solve a lot of dumb problems in my life… Boredom, loneliness, lack of purpose. It doesn’t take will power when you’ve solved those issues and you recognize alcohol as being poison that is a net negative to life and society.
Yh I was put on an antidepressant not long before I stopped drinking aswell, think that helped.
It’s a two part situation
Listen to this, great explanations
Does it matter if you are an alcoholic or not? Your other option is “just had a problem that got out of hand”. Either way you are saying that you need to stop. Labels don’t matter.
I am an alcoholic. But i don’t go to AA, I don’t have a higher power. But I am actively working on trying to understand why I was so reliant on alcohol and what I can do now instead so I don’t rely on alcohol. It is about recovery vs abstinence.
Remember that “sheer willpower” will only get you so far. With willpower you are fighting the urges (or white knuckling, as the say). With recovery you are coping with the urges. Maybe one day you can even eliminate the urges (but I don’t know…is that possible?).
I got a bunch of Joe and Charlie on CD! My home group loves them.
Well spoken 
Now, I’ve been sober for 11 1/2 months. I spent 30 days in detox and rehab. I’ve been doing AA the entire time and always will. I call myself an addict for alcohol and an alcoholic. If we drinkers get out of our own way, cross over that line of fear and try something new we will be amazed at the new life that awaits us. AA helps to answer questions we drinkers have and gives suggestions on dealing with our problem (our thinking).
I say to anyone interested find an AA near you attend a few meetings and just listen. You don’t have to say anything.
I’m thinking of going to one to meet new people who have been through the same thing. No one around me seems to have this problem right now and it gets kind of lonely . Well I have one friend who’s got a big drinking problem, but she doesn’t want to stop, so it’s not the same .
I don’t refer to myself as an alcoholic in the same way that I don’t say that I am a smoker. If I were to light up now, I would go back to fulltime smoking. So I train myself to accept that the urges may still drift in, even after 20+ years.
My advice would be to keep it simple and accept that you and certain substances don’t mix well and are therefore best avoided. But only you can decide for yourself which culprit gets marching orders from your life.