What’s the cure for a dry drunk

Life in Recovery
, ,
1

This is a little shameful to admit

I’m a dry drunk ,
haven’t coped since I quit drinking
With a ton of anxiety
Maybe there’s a certain unpleasantness to me
can’t make friends easily , only when someone makes a point of reaching to me

Sometimes
I’m bitter ,resentful

bitter with all the people that have doubted me over the years
remembering all the slick comments, quiet insults, I’ve had over the few years.

I go to a world class prestigious school, ranked top 10 in the world.

It is insatiably satisfying, to be able to undercut people who are trying to be passive aggressive in conversation

But also very unsure how far I can go,
with all this baggage, anxiety, depression. But I’ll try

So tiring being bitter
There’s a nostalgia to being able to relax
tired of being resentful,
It’s not like I choose these things for myself

I’ve tried therapy, but it felt like it just went in loops Without ever getting to the root of anything so I’m currently looking for a new therapist

That’s not all that I am tho
I can be very friendly playful when I feel Connected and safe to open up

There are words repeated quite often

“Dealing with underlying issues”
“Processing trauma”
“Getting to the root”

What does the work actually look like?
When will I truly change ?

No one wants to stay a dry drunk forever

3 Likes
3

Hi lyn,

Like the previous poster said? Meetings 12 steps are a great start,

Mental health checkup might help, you are doing right by looking for a different therapist it’s. Not a one size fits all operation, t took a long time to find a therapist that worked for me.

I also would suggest meeting people in AA, the after meeting meetings are great there are many times I got better input from the after meeting than the actual meeting

Change has to come from within, it has to be something you want it’s also not going to be comfortable.

4 Likes
4

Hi Lyn, wow props for reaching out this is a difficult topic, I commend you on your honesty! :purple_heart:
You sound like you’re struggling with self worth. Your prestigious school is what you throw in the faces of the people you feel didn’t see worth in you when they had the chance to. There’s obviously more to this, inside you, but this is one thing I see. I can relate! My school is not prestigious :wink: but my struggle with self worth and self love as real as yours.
You’re doing absolutely the right thing looking for a new therapist. I find the work I am doing with my current therapist I could not do with my first therapist nor alone, despite really wanting to grow and change. So, that’s great Lyn!
And what this work will look like, I find it is looking at and going emotionally where it hurts and where it’s uncomfortable. Like that sentence about the school in your text, that really got me. I can feel your need to be seen and get back at people. In your therapy you will admit these difficult emotions and urges, and feel them, and very slowly you’ll come to change. But abmittance comes first. Feeling the difficult stuff. Potentially leaning why you feel this way. Then change will slowly come. I’m right there with you pal. :hibiscus:

4 Likes
6

Try a zoom meeting or ftf if any open there ,seek out a sponsor he or she will guide you through the steps best cure i know wish you well

3 Likes
7

Nothing to be ashamed of, I think all of us go through this at one point or another. And don’t even realize it. I think here for a while I’ve been in! And it was actually making me physically ill. Not even realizing it. The good thing is that you have figured it out and now you can do something about it. So it’s time to get out of your own way and get up and move on with your program. A dry drunk is part of our addiction It is the leftovers I would say getting through this and out of it is self-awareness/ knowledge and and the want to… And clearly you have that because you’re here asking questions and seeking help! So there you go you’re halfway there. The rest is up to you working the program work your steps, and join some groups maybe to talk to somebody about what’s happening that leaving you into this space?Are you being honest with yourself about how you feeling? If you get those feelings out then they’re easier to deal with. Being in our situation is not easy especially if we don’t have people at home and around us who understand and I mean truly understand our situation I live in an area where there are no meetings and it is hard so I have to seek help outside of the normal realm and I don’t do good with zoom meetings because I am a one person who likes face-to-face real people. If you need any help feel free to contact me I am here but I’ve been in that space you’re in for a while and just now climbing out Good luck :heart::hugs:

2 Likes
8

As others have said, you should try a program of structured healing and recovery. AA has been advocated by others, and I will say it helped me immensely especially doing Step 4 “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

I’ll also suggest trying Recovery Dharma as an option as well. RD is a Buddhist-inspired recovery program. As someone with vocal inner critic and a distorted self-image who has sought through people pleasing and perfectionism to establish my self worth, I found its meditation and self reflection very healing.

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-local-aa

3 Likes
9

if you’re still in school i would suggest reaching out to a counsel at your school. there might be resources the school can offer, esp if they are well funded.

1 Like