I don’t think everyone has to hit rock bottom to decide they need to end their relationship with alcohol but I sure did. I hit rock bottom once and then started fucking digging even deeper before I poked my head out of the hole to see how far I had gone and by then it was way over my head.
I was digging my own grave.
I started getting super sick (like allergic reactions) from booze and still didn’t stop.
I was screaming at my friends new girlfriends thinking they were random wh*res there to ruin everything because I was too drunk to remember I met them 20 minutes prior. ( hurts to see those girls today as sober, I feel so so so bad…)
I ended up having my gallbladder removed due to gallstones from excessive alcohol intake. and still what did I do?
drank so much I kicked my boyfriend out of my car, took over driving, left him on the side of a country road at 4:30 in the morning , pitch black outside, and I proceeded to fly my car into a water filled steep ass ditch.
crashed my fucking car.
smashed my face. my ribs. my whole body.
I remember sitting there as water poured into the car around me and i just screamed and screamed and screamed. praying my boyfriend would find me.
he did. he watched it all happened. he had to sprint to rescue me from the car.
and guess what?
I drank all the next day. the next week. the next whole year.
digging deeper into this root filled rock filled shit filled hole.
before I finally figured out alcohol wasn’t doing anything for me. just making me a horrible fucking person.
Rock bottom? it exists. in many forms.
if you’ve started digging , you better ask yourself why on earth you need an early grave.
My rock bottom was heroin I was so addicted I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning without a hit I got to the point of needing it every few hours just to function I was a total mess like u I still didn’t stop … then when I tried it was too late the drug had hold of me … I’m clean now but relapsed a couple of times in 16months but I know I need to never touch it again… I’ve had so many rock bottom but getting off heroin is definitely one I’ll never forget x
Which one I’ve had many,one that sticks in my mind was it was new year’s Day I’d celebrated the night before and didn’t give any thought about the morning as I used my herion all up I woke up at 5am sick as a dog where I was staying there was no electricity and it was fucking freezing.anyone that doesn’t use will not understand fully .I got my spoon out that had old filters I knew that there was fuck all in them but at this point I was also semi addicted to the needle I hit up which took me forever BC of how cold it was ,I didnt feel any better so left the blokes house ,I went out into the freezing morning I’ve everywhere not a soul to be seen as it’s new year’s Day at 5 .30 I walk bk to town which took hours by this point it was about 9 MY GOD I WAS ILL I called my uncle to come collect me as I lived in a caravan on site as I’m from a gypsie Romany family onesy bk I asked him to lend me £10 to buy some bakkie off a fella I knew so he did nbdrove me rd there obviously it wasn’t the backkie man but my dealer he was not happy I was knocking on his door at 9 am my sweet uncle knew but could see I was in pain ,I felt happy for a minute or two got bk to caravan made a fire first off BC was frozen to the bone did my gear then thought FUCK EM WHAT YOU DOING .What a start to the new year and unbeknown to me then for many 15 years to come ,I’ve had worse lows I could go on alnigjt but that one was one of my first ever lows so it has stuck with me.
Congrats on 382 days. What a story don’t mean this in a bad way, but I thought I had it bad you done changed my mind. My rock bottom is not even close to yours so i won’t say anything, I plea the 5th lol.Take care ans stay sober.
I hit my bottom 2 years ago when I got a DUI and had my license revoked. I was sober for a while but I’m back at Day 1. I reset my day counter. I know it’s no excuse but my drinking has really gotten out of control the past few months because I’d work stress. I’m a healthcare worker and I totally despise my job these days. I’m very scared now. I haven’t missed work but this is really affecting my self esteem and my anxiety is through the roof. I desperately need to stop. I’m currently doing a crisis contract on a Covid floor and I’m making great money. I’m almost done paying off credit card debt and my car is almost paid off, but I feel empty inside bc of my drinking. I go to great lengths to hide it and I feel really alone. I’m hoping that I can find support here.
Thank you all for sharing your rock bottoms. @SirtyGirl, it sounds like your story has a common thread with mine. I am a work alcoholic and have abused alcohol for most of my adult life. But it was only the last couple of years that things started getting really bad. Most of the week I would not drink, but come Friday and it felt like the only release I could get from all the work and stress was to get F&cking hammered. Blackout ripped. Those Fridays started to turn into 2-3 day benders. Wake up with fresh brusies and injuries. Lost keys or wallet. Fights… You would think the guilt and shame would show me something was wrong. Unbearable. Then I would go through hell staying sober for 3 days just to feel somewhat normal again. Only to go through the whole thing again come Friday. I have done a 60 day and 30 day sobriety run this year, and I found it very important for me to have a healthier relationship with my work, if at least just mentally, and that I desperately needed to reconnect with things that give me joy. Because all work and no play… I know it’s cliche, but vigorous cardio, meditation, Tai Chi have been incredibly helpful. I also do my best to not be too hard on myself to DO these methods of relaxation and enjoyment. But to have fun with them, and allow them to work. I have also picked up piano, and found some excellent books I’m in the middle of. It’s helped me to see that I don’t need extreme experiences to feel alive, full, and loved. Staying sober is now top priority for me. I never really acknowledged i had a problem, because I would do regular sobriety runs. But this last Friday the addict in me came up again, and it was bad. So I’m here with you, also a new bee to this app, ready to reclaim and create the life we deserve. Excited to give and receive support. 1 day sober over here.
I was at a friend’s house drinking and doing blow after fixing his car. He went to bed and
i was outside with his other friends who were all so young and full of hope. They were all talking about their studies in college. That hit me hard. I was living with my mother and step father at the time. When I finally got home, I told him that I was going to check myself into a rehab the next day. I woke up and he took me to my sister’s house and we both went to the hospital together. From there, I got accepted into a rehab the next day. Best decision I’ve ever took… September 23, 2019. I’ll never forget that day.
My rock bottom: I was a functional alcoholic. Verbally abusive to everyone and anyone. Angry all the time. Hostile. I threw a party 6 years ago when I turned 35. A real fucking rager. Long story short, one of my friends fell down my back stairs broke her neck and died. It was horrible. I often play what if… What if I didn’t have that party, she might still be alive… Guilt is a mother fucker. It’s taken me years not to beat myself up over what happened. That should have been wake up call number one. Of course it wasn’t. I was drinking more and more not so much everyday but when I did I went hard.I had a few slip ups over the years since her death. I tried and tried again and again to get sober. I was always the lofe of the party, Mr cool. I needed more and more booze I was selfish this is mine get your own. I’d be trying and slipping since I’d been here in 2017. Finally, FINALLY it clicked after a slip at my cousins bachelor party and my final slip at his open bar wedding I said no more. That was August 10, 2019. I have been sober ever since. Sure, most days are perfect but I am here fighting on everyday. I recently had a son just about 9 months ago so he is my driving force behind quitting. I want him to know me. The REAL me without booze. I want to be the BEST dad I can. I wish you ALL continued luck on your respective journeys. We can do this!!!
Thank you for sharing I feel like I’ve had a few different levels of rock bottoms. My last rock bottom was using needles. I was injecting hydromorphone daily and almost died by overdosing. I was so thin. My skin was grey and I had sunk in eyes i was working as a sex trade worker on top of it all so that was another rock bottom. I’m struggling right now to get clean (I’m not injecting or “working” but use another drug) and even though things aren’t as bad as they were years ago, I’m trying not to hit another bottom (but I feel it’s only inevitable unless I completely quit).
Dont know if i had one maybe a few i was in a ward after trying to kill myself for the second time used to try paraffin and lager see if i got that buzz again ,found myself in award in a straight jacket once was going to get elect shock treatment but they doc changed his mind , my wife was having a affair when i left the house for good went back for clothes his stuff in the wardrobe lost my three companies she cleaned out the bank account came home to live with my mum and dad otherwise id spend more time sleeping rough so back to Scotland i went a beat guy two plastic bags left a £400k house Bmw and every thing else i had got over our 13 year marriage think then when i said to my wee mum i think ive got a drink problem that was my rock bottom she replied i could have told you that son . she phoned AA and the rest is history( mobile phone were coming in no internet or u tube or blogs or fb just hardcore sobriety got divorced 2 years later handed everything over to my ex ,sobriety was more important came along way i was 34 when i stopped now im 68 still sober married again 26 years two sons 25/23 big house no morgage semi retired now gave up my landscaping business after 31 years so if a old scotsman like me can do it then anyone can
Oh gosh thanks for sharing, I’m sorry that you had to go through all that. I admire your strength and focus,and Im glad to hear that you’re on the right track again and happily married. You Rock!
i was working as a sex trade worker on top of it all so that was another rock bottom. I’m struggling right now to get clean (I’m not injecting or “working” but use another drug) and even though things aren’t as bad as they were years ago, I’m trying not to hit another bottom (but I feel it’s only inevitable unless I completely quit).