I messed up. I was almost 5 months sober. I drank lastnight. I dont even know why. I wasn’t having any problems. I restarted my sober time. I’m so disappointed with myself. I dont know how I’m going to tell my husband. He is going to be so disappointed too. And now I feel like utter shit. Head is pounding. And I just want to cry. Ugh. I wish this was easier. I dont want to fight this every day.
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I’ve relapsed a few times, it’s definitely not easy but it is worth it. Just recognize that you don’t want to feel like this anymore, and don’t forget about the five months you strung together but build off of them.
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I was in and out of the program for the fist couple of years. And it hit me hard like that too. But my sponsor at that time told me " when the pain becomes greater than the solution you will seek the easier softer way."
I have found that he was right. We beat ourselves up way too much. That why they say easy does it. You don’t need a 20lbs sledge hammer to drive a roofing nail in, but more often than not that is what we will use just to drive the point home.
Keep the faith. One day at a time my friend
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Meetings made it better ,got a sponsor worked the steps and it worked up to now , you drank because we dont have a defence against the first drink thats why a changed mindset and a good network and foundation around you is important easy does it wish you well
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Same here. Five days today. When I drink I’m always misplacing stuff. Or not getting things done that I need to get done. I live alone so I don’t have anybody to share my shame with. Your husband loves you through the good and the bad. Be grateful you have a companion.
I’ve set up another Category within my profile for tobacco. I’m constantly resetting the clock.
Thank you guys. I really don’t want to be where I was 5 months Ago. It was awful. I slacked off of talking on here. I should probably not do that again. I dont have a sponsor. I probably should get one. I dont really know how though.
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Hi, I am in the same boat, but don’t know how to get a sponsor either……
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Im in the same boat my dear but you should tell him so he can help you through it. Yeah he might be a little upset but he will be more proud of you for telling him cause then he will know how committed you are for help. My husband works out of town so when he comes home im going to tell him I messed up and im scared but I know he will stand by me and help me through it. Good luck dear and hope everything works out and you tell him.
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Visit a meeting, that’s a good place to start. You mentioned in one of your earlier threads that you’d found an AA meeting near you. Did you get to it? Can you go back?
You can find meetings at www.AA.org and also there are online meetings:
And there’s a 24 hour womens meeting on Zoom, at this meeting ID:
It’s so nice to have a place you can go 24 hours a day, anytime. Feel free to go as many times a day as you need to. You can get the Zoom app on your phone and go there while you’re on the move too; listen in, be present, stay safe. You can even pull over and join from a parking lot. I’ve done that for meetings.
Take care and don’t give up 
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When you get to a meeting, mention you’re looking for a sponsor. They’ll be able to guide you 
Meetings are integral part of sponsorship. It took a while for me to find the right one to work with. It is possible to outgrow your first sponsor.
I have changed sponsors over the years as I have grown in recovery. The important thing to remember is to be able to identify and relate to their experience strength and hope.
To see the spring in their step and the glistening in their eyes from that inner glow that comes from within the very essence of their inner core that is which is their soul. From living free at last in sobriety.
As I look back over the course of thirty years. My first sponsor had five years in the fellowship. My second sponsor had over fifteen years. Sponsorship changes as you change and grow in sobriety. Please keep the faith.
One day at a time.
I need a sponsor bad but I guess need to find a na program so I can find one.
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