Dear @LuluJo
These words from @MoCatt sum up all I can say as you face this deep sadness.
May you be sustained by the support you receive here and hopefully get from those around you.
Peace and hugs
Tony
P. S. Do you like photography? You could start taking pictures with your cel phone of your plants or a sunset or something abstract - I find photography absorbs me completely and helps me connect creatively.
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Hi @Sunshine81,
As I promised, I will write to all of you who held my hand at a very difficult moment. I am terrible at responding to e-mails, texts, any written messages. It may be late but I will keep my word. It is progress.
This hits home. My sisters husband commited suicide eighteen years ago. Since then we have been helplessly watching her self distruct, waiting to die, attempt to do so several times. I was drinking but my disease progressed and got to a bad point in the last few years with my brothers loss. That is the time I understood her for the first time. I realized that I have been a high functioning alcoholic. Never missed work, on the contrary I was a workaholic, my doc for years.
It is time to move on and make myself the priority. I get that you canāt please everyone. Yesterday is yesterday and it will remain as memories. Good and bad.
Thank you so much for touching my heart by your words that tells me you feel my pain.
Much love!
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I am so sorry about your situation. This is why we call it TS family, being there and help each other out in whatever form that might be. I am glad that the thread helped you. I am also here to listen to you anytime.
Hang in there and take care.
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@Skitilz, this is the ultimate truth. Five suicides, four of them in the last four years. Not just people I knew, my inner circle, very close to each other. You are right. Drinking doesnāt fix it. Drinking doesnāt fix anything. Just numbs your pain momentarily but embarrasses you, destroys you and people who have to watch you. I understand that this will be a lifelong battle. However, I have no intention for giving up.
Thank you for the pointers and sharing your experience.
Hugs.
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Hi @Mtrav0040,
I agree one hundred percent! I wrote you a response a few days ago but the site got frozen and it never got posted. I donāt remember what I wrote. Today is another sober day and I want you to know that I appreciate your perception. It has ben many days since, I hope you are able to hang in there. Hit that toolbox hard, put the tape on replay.
Please excuse my very late response, something I am working on getting better at. Take good care yourself. You need you first to overcome the obstacles big and small. You can do it. Keep your eyes on the prize.
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@MoCatt, you know I admire you and we seem to share many in common. Late responses are my strrugle. I have no doubt that you didnāt take it personally, especially given the circumstances. Your wisdom and compassion always comes like a breath of fresh air.
It is true that I hold back and reluctant to share freely. It is true that they are killing me. I am a very private person but I feel like I am coming to a point to let it all out and breathe. I even donāt care about the anonymity so much. I always worried about being judged. It has to stop, grows like cancer. Who cares? You will read a ton of my stories soon. Good and bad, some very embarrassing. So it goes as Kurt Vonnegut says on Slaughterhouse 5.
I appreciate your kind heart and support. Much love.
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