Anyone seen @Dolse71 around lately? 
Hope all is well in your world, Paul!
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Class of 2018 right there!
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wonderful to hear!! Iâll tell you one thing, you have some tenacity! You are going to make it stick. You never give up and I admire you so much for it. You so fortunate to have your kids/grandkids so close, what a gift.
I spied on your profile and saw you had been around, but wanted to check in 
Oh! I hope work is going well too!!! Smarty pants 
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Thank you Jazzy, Actually it had been so long since I had not been sad, that when I hit a point about a month sober where I wasnât sad anymore, that I didnât even think about drinking, and didnât want to. That compartmentalizing away the thought of drinking, or being on / âneedingâ this thread, was so nice. To go to sleep healthy, sleep healthy, get up healthy was so nice. So I wasnât ditching you but rather just enjoying my freedom from my disabling addiction and enjoying health for a change, and didnât feel like checking in. I was happy for a change.
So Thanks much for checking in. I actually thought about you and laura a lot and felt guilty not staying in touch, but I just needed a break from all the crap associated with alcohol. For some weird reason the last three days I have really wanted to drink and like have a field day from normalcy. No drama whatsoever in my life so it doesnât make sense, but my desire to drink is really really strong. I have pot in the house but it never tempts me unless I have a drink first. So it is the drink that is the danger and what draws me. So you are thinking why keep pot around? Easy, first of all I got a lot of it and it is expensive and legal in this state. Second, and most importantly, because pot doesnât give me the nagging pull to use and abuse it. So if I really really really want to break my 62 day streak, I think it might help me get through avoiding alcohol if I go down the pot road rather than go to a store and buy alcohol road since it doesnât have the same pull the next day. Not sure if that makes sense. Not even sure if the crutch of smoking pot would curb the desire to have a drink, so it is just a theory to have it around as a crutch / compromise would be a better word, if I got weak and really decided to drink, and might choose to smoke pot instead, and have a fling and be over it without all the other nagging draw the next day from alcohol. Anyway, thank you for asking how I am, and back at you. How are you? Another question. Is there a running tab on this website of the number of days we stay sober? We put in our sober date in our profile, but I havenât found a running tab of number of days sober anywhere on this site. My sober day is Jan 10, but with Feb leap year and all that, I canât really keep track, and I do like round numbers as faux accomplishments, like 100 and etc⌠for goals. I know you will know the answer. Anyway, thanks again for the hello and if I do drop the ball and go buy a cocktail and screw up, I will come right back here to my friends for help, and Iâm right now going to scroll around and see if I can find someone else who needs a pick me up word of encouragement, as I do enjoy the act of giving back, and it is the right thing to do since you and others have helped me so much. It is so cool that I am not sad anymore. Thanks again Jazzy.
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Ive been missing for about a 3 weeks. Since i started a new job i havent had time get on here as often. SoâŚyesterday i drank. It was a bad day. Threw away almost 6 months of solid sobriety. Ive never been more disappointed in myself. Fuck. It just hit me out if nowhere and i had no defense against that first drink because i let my guard down and stopped doing all the things that i KNOW works. Im just devastatedâŚ
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Just yesterday I was thinking that I hadnât seen you around in a while. Glad youâve made it back, even under unfortunate circumstances 
Thatâs exactly how it happens. Out of the blue. I remember one time I had a month, and one day I had that thought in my car and headed right to the liquor store. Like, my mind was just made up. I know now it was bc I wasnât doing anything to support my sobriety. So you did the right thing coming right back 
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That sounds very familiar to a critical passage in the AA book on page 43. AA offers us a program to stay sober in all conditions. I had a very tough time accepting help and laying aside my prejudice. But since I did and made the program a cornerstone in my life and recovery, I havenât had a craving or desire to drink that was not handled by this program.
Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.
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Hey Paul.
@Dolse71
I was listening to a John McAndrew song today and you came to mind. I hope youâre well. You ol China plate
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Dear @JazzyS I beg you pardon. I had another crisis 10 days ago. I am so er since then. Now dealing with tiredness and lack of motivation. I hope do better this time 
. Thank you so much Jasmine for your great care. You are lovely and I wish you the best
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